To be disappointed with my engagment proposal?

[TinyMackBear4]

I feel so silly writing this. In May last year just after a mc, my other half proposed. But I'm so disappointed in how he done it.
He had been stewing all day to do it (seen the box in his back pocket, pretended not to notice) eventually at 11pm, he woke me up told me he loved me and proposed there. So technically not even down on one knee.
I just feel so underwhelmed by it, I don't even like wearing the ring cause it reminds me of how badly done it was

If it's any help OP, everyone I know that's had a huge flashy proposal has ended up divorced or not even making it down the aisle. One friend took his fiancee to the Lakes in a £1k a weekend stay and proposed by her "favouite lake" - they'd only been twice before so that made zero sense to me... now only 9 months after the wedding they're getting divorced.

When it's for show, it's 9/10 ALL for show.

Mine proposed while eating a kebab, drunk on a night out. You got off lightly

My proposal, or lack of, was shit. We'd been together for 9 years, I'd recently been told my mum was terminal so I gave my dp an ultimatum. Marry me asap or leave me. It was only when I told him to get packing that he eventually agreed. He's a commitment phobe who is also scared of any change. We had a wonderful wedding day and are very happily married with a gorgeous baby dd. I do feel a little robbed of a romantic engagement but he's never been romantic and the proposal doesn't actually matter at all really. Enjoy your baby then enjoy getting
/being married!

Oh, and 10yrs later I still don't have an engagement ring

I have a lovely Husband though

OP:
Oh for heaven's sake, this is such a laughable thing to worry about.

I know exactly how you feel. Mine proposed to me one evening after work, I was really tired and we had shared a bottle of wine. It wasn't romantic at all, we were both, not drunk, but the mix of alcohol and tiredness just made it absolutely the wrong moment. I got quite cross about it and actually told him to forget about it and try again another time! Maybe a bit cruel. A few weeks later we were up a beautiful mountain in the Lake District, overlooking the Windermere lake and after waiting for several minutes for him to say something, I just ended up saying 'so, is there something you want to ask me?'. So not spontaneous at all, and somewhat orchestrated by me, which felt like a bit of a let down. They are useless aren't they sometimes? However, he loves me like no one else ever has and I love him, and the marriage itself it certainly not a let down. And this after all is more important right?

I didn't get an engagement ring, I don't even know if I got a proposal. I think we just sort of agreed to get married.

OTT romantic gestures are not everyone's style, it doesn't mean they don't love their partner.

Saying that, you did get a proposal, a ring and a declaration of love. I think that sounds very romantic!

See what we need here is a roll eyes emoticon.
I hope it's just your hormones.

Man what a first world problem. Seriously?
Also, some of the hugely romantic OTT weddings and OTT engagements complete with acapella vocal groups have inevitably ended in bitter divorces. Means nothing.

YABVVVVVU

Yabu op but I would chalk it partly down to new baby hormones.

Dh just took a ring out of his bag on a Thursday evening after work and asked me if I would marry him. It was unromantic and totally lovely and unfussy- this is him all over. The point is he loved me and wanted to marry me - that's what matters.
I would suggest moving on from it and planning the wedding you'd like

Whatthefudger that "do you want this" ditto

I was a lot younger when I was proposed and felt a little like you, OP, but in the great scheme of things, proposal, hell even the wedding, does not matter much to me anymore. It's the way he treats me nicely daily that matters now.

Mine texted me while lying in bed next to me and said "shall we buy a ring today?" I was like "what TYPE of ring?!" Tbf he flew a few hundred miles to spend 1 night with me.

YABU OP I have all this social media show over engagements.

*hate

Yes you are being a bit silly, OP. He said he loves you and asked you to marry him. Why isn't that enough?

funnyand.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Rolling-my-eyes-so-hard.jpg

He bought the ring and proposed - that's all that matters really and not how he did it.

There's too much pressure on men now to have at least a flash mob or writing in the sky at the proposal. Perhaps your OH felt closest to you and most relaxed when you were in bed, just the 2 of you.

This thread reminds me of the poster who fixated on her wedding photos - they weren't quite right and she couldn't get past it.

None of this stuff matters!

My DP (getting married next year) proposed to me in our first car we were students at the time and the thing was a real old banger so it wasn't exactly snapshot-perfect but he'd picked a pretty ring he knew I'd love, we both cried with happiness and I'm fairly certain our married life will be as lovely as the rest of the time we've been together. I think to an extent a lot of these instagram/facebook "perfect proposals" or ones celebrities have or whatever do give people slightly unrealistic expectations and can lead to disappointment if in real life things are a bit more low-key. As pretty much everyone else has said, what's more important is how your partner treats you, how happy they make you, how much you enjoy being with them.

When it's for show, it's 9/10 ALL for show.
Also this

yabu, it was heartfelt, he loves you, its the promise behind it not how its done

YABU
My dh woke me at 3am to TELL me that I was going to marry him.
I said OK and went back to sleep! We've been married 27 years now. The proposal isn't what I think about. The way he looked at me while saying his marriage vows is.

My ex proposed to me by booking out a whole restaurant and had friends set off a firework that spelled out 'marry me?'. 6 months later, he told me he didn't actually want kids, as we had previously talked about, but we should get married and give it 10 years and he might change his mind. A fancy proposal doesn't mean a happy ending.

Also even worse, my dad proposed to my mum many years ago by sort of nudging a ring towards her and saying "what about that then?" He's actually very kind and giving and romantic at heart but sometimes struggles with words!

My Brother in law proposed to my sister as she did the washing up. They are happily married and very in love.

Also to those who said they were underwhelmed by their proposal I think possibly you need some perspective. The out loud confirmation that this wonderful man I have somehow managed to find actually wants to spend the rest of his life with me as much as I badly want to spend the rest of my life with him, was what made it overwhelming for me. Not the "will you marry me?" Or the ring. It was that he had the balls to say to me, right there in that horrible moment, that he loved me and wanted to be with me forever. That's the overwhelming bit and always will be

DH went down on one knee. He was very drunk and I had to pull him back up.