Dh spending when we are trying to save!!!!!

[Nkelly1]

I realise I probably won't get many sympathies here because our income is high but this is really a problem.

So dh earns £60,000 I earn anything from £20,000 to £30,000 depending on what projects go through and am part time.

We are trying to save for two holidays this year our two week summer holiday and a Caribbean cruise for the family to celebrate an anniversary.

Both these holidays we cost £5000 grand plus and the first one is paid for but we have only saved a grand for the second.

So me and dh have decided to cut back and reduce spending.

So we have reduced eating out (used to eat out once a week) and we also reduced the amount we spend on groceries buying things from Sainsbury's rather than buying everything from Marks or Waitrose. Also the amount we spend buying clothes we are quite fond of a label as a family particularly dh and dss.

So yesterday dh took the teens into London and spent £600 on them eating out and buying things. We have the money but we are supposed to be saving.

When I hear other people on here talk about there expenses it makes me feel so ashamed. I spend hundreds of pounds of food shopping the amount of food we get through. Dh won't step foot in any supermarket below Sainsbury's. I don't have a figure on food but even if I did I would be ashamed to post it.

Aibu

When I hear other people on here talk about there expenses it makes me feel so ashamed

You should feel ashamed. You earn massive amounts between you, and you are on here whining that you can't save enough for your second expensive holiday.
Maybe you should try crowdfunding? Or getting a grip?

It is what it is op, and it's one of those things where you just go round in circles all the time.

Nonsense!

Op whilst l understand your frustration with your DH's attitude to money and saving as you had agreed, why do you have no savings yet spend 10k+ on holidays?

To me that is madness, what about emergency money? redundancy, illness etc.

To be honest I can't believe you're only just getting annoyed at his spending.
You clearly are all spending recklessly as a family to be earning your incomes and not have more put away in savings I mean obviously this is just my presumptuous opinion, as you could have a big mortgage and lots of expenses or whatever but if I were you I'd stop booking holidays and spending so much on food and get your savings sorted then once you have a safety net then you can enjoy the fun money. My husband and I earn half of what you do and eat out once or twice a week, own a home, have a baby blah blah and we can manage to save and still pretty much live a comfortable existence oh and our food is lovely from Aldi

I'm really shocked that on your income you only have 2 grand in savings. Or have I misunderstood ?

I work part time with a pro rata salary of £35,000 PA, have a biggish mortgage and I have saved £3,000 since October last year easily.
How do I save? I am woman at Matalan and charity shops, I buy day before out of date food and have a lodger. other than the lodger I live alone, I sell stuff on ebay and put the money in savings.
It's obvious what your problem is, just stop spending money on crap, simple.
I do hope you have a regular savings plan that does not include holidays etc because if not you are in trouble.

I mean I earn less than you on your own and have a lot more than that.

What would you do if something happened ? I don't think it's the holiday you need to be concerned about to be honest.

So if the kids say they are not bothered about having something, but he insists and buys it anyway? Sounds? Sounds like he simply cannot stop spending. How will they learn that valuable life lesson that money doesn't grow on trees?

I would be annoyed with him too, and £600 on one day out with himself and a couple of teenagers is a ridiculous amount. We are going to London next weekend with our own teenagers, and meeting up with our 21 year old student DD1. So 5 of us. We will do the science museum and have a meal in a restaurant we have known for years and like. Including transport, I anticipate it costing us between £100 and £150 in total, maybe less.

£600 was ridiculous money. What did he buy for that?

I feel so sorry for these high income earners worrying how they can afford their second holiday and having to shop in Sainsburys. Must be hell.

My heart bleeds.... so what if you don't get your second £5K holiday this year? You're both clearly irresponsible with money if you only have £2k in savings on that income. Suggested guidelines is 3 months expenses. And while I get that for low income families and individuals that's impossible a lot of the time, on £80-90k and able to fritter away £10k on holidays it's absolutely ridiculous that you dont have more savings. You'd be royally fucked if DH lost his job tomorrow. Forget the holidays. Save.

I dream of shopping in Sainsburys but quite honestly I am more scared of not having 6 months salary in reserve in case I lose my job than I am of not having holidays so I don't spend.

The fact that some people think £90k is not a high income.

Surely you just need to sort your savings out first. When DH gets paid bills and savings go out, we transfer an amount for groceries and what's left is for spending, so that £600 blown in London wouldn't be there to blow if you wanted to save it. It would be paid straight off the holiday or in a separate account.

What teenager says to their father who is practically insisting on them getting expensive clothes, "no dad, I don't need this, take me to Primark". Come on OP. That is not how teenagers work.

My teenager works like that. She is forever telling me how ridiculously overpriced boden is and how much better primark is.

Anyway back to the OP - ok no, I have nothing to say. Woe is you indeed

It's perfectly possible to shop for less in Sainsburys. IIRC that's where Jack Monroe did most of her shopping when writing her blog.

Start shoppong at Aldis, buh badic brands onlt, ebay all your gear and go on a xamping holiday instead of the cruise! Perhaps work ft instead of pt.

Check oug Jack Monroes for (a reality check) cheap budget recipies.

There are lots of people on here who think that £90k is not a high income. The type of people who have so much money that they can afford all the expensive holidays and other luxuries that they like.

Whereas most of us have to save and compromise and can only have some of the nice things we like.

The OP seems to be getting an unfairly hard time here, especially about the lack of savings. Yes, it is recommended that people have 3-6 months expenses put away, but the reality is that almost no-one does. Most people in the UK have little or no savings, so the fact that the OP has £2k put away makes them above average on that front.

AGHGR TYPOS!!

Buy basic brands only,

go on a xamoing holiday instead of a cruise
Check out Jack Monroe recipies etc

Somethings got to give if you want to spend so much on lavish holidays. Tell your hubby to stop being such a spoilt child and either he cuts down on his clothes spending or you shop at more budget sainsburys. It really made me laugh that you choose Sainsburys as a more budget supermarket. I go to Sainsburys for a real treat and we've got a combined income of under 50k.
I'm not sure what your AIBU is either. If about expecting your husband to grow up and stop throwing money away then no YANBU

What I mean is, when other people are also involved and you can't control them, you do end up in circles.

Personally, I have moved us from interest only to replayment, paid off overdrafts, and made changes to bills etc. But you do end up in circles when you don't have sole charge.

BTW I do think 90k is a massive income.

I earn 40,000 as does my DP we are saving for a wedding and trying to save for our home together as we want to keep our existing property as investments. We live pretty frugally shopping at Lidl and keeping day to day costs down. I have one DS but we still have lovely holidays... such as Thailand and NYC.. and both manage a savings pot each. But are not frivolous. I wear supermarket clothes and my car is a shit heap but do have emergency funds if we need it. I feel we cut our cloth accordingly and savings are a priority

Unlike the other jealous miseries on here, I don't think your income means you deserve to be automatically condemned for daring to post.

I do think you need to talk to your husband about what 'cutting back' means in terms of treats/trips etc. You're obviously both a bit laissez-faire with money. unfortunately,if he won't take it seriously, you may have to (write down how much you'll need to save monthly for a holiday to show him why his £600 spree is a problem.)

As the saying goes- The more you earn the more you spend

Could not be a true word said.

I think to the average poster on here one holiday a year would be something let alone two and 90K coming in. If you cut down for a month you should have the necessary