To ask if my wedding plans are REALLY enough?

[Isthismummy]

Posted about this before, but really stressing about the fact that friends are STILL trying to get me to add more to the day.

Getting married in Central London in Summer. Registery office wedding at 12.45 and afterwards we will be walking ten minutes to our favourite hotel where we have booked the library for a champagne afternoon tea reception. We have the room for our exclusive use until 20.00 and husband to be and I have a room booked at same hotel for wedding night.

We're only having 18 guests. The plan was that we would have Afternoon Tea etc and people could either stay on until later with us if they wished to drink the cocktail menu dry, or go home if they'd had enough. We just want a low pressure, relaxed day.

However my bridesmaids think it is isn't enough. They originally tried to persuade us to organise a night time do somewhere else. We've now vetoed that idea and now that's changed to booking a table at a restaurant later on in the evening after hotel.

AIBU to be pissed off that they don't seem to think my plans are enough? We've got six hours exclusive use of a beautuful room at a four star hotel ffs! I appreciate some guests are travelling from North East and want to make a day of it, but it's making me feel really stressed and like my plans are inadequate in some way

But proper afternoon tea IS filling, the OP doesn't mind if people leave early anyway!

OP I've been thinking about this all day because your wedding sounds lovely; I couldn't quite imagine how I wanted to get married and something like this sounds much more like how I think I'd want it.

YANBU to not make it an all day massive affair.

YANBU to tell your bridesmaids firmly that you don't want 'more' and that they're welcome to go on afterwards if they want but it won't include you!

I might have to leave this thread now as I feel like I'm going round in circles some what.

I've actually being looking at venues that I could potentially have a night do at today (just considering all options) Dp's response was "but they'll only be about five people to come" rather as if our wedding day is an inconvenience for everybody.

It is all doing nothing for my already low self esteem that tells me I'm not worth bothering with and this thread is just making me feel more anxious. DP would have preferred to have eloped and it is very plain in his reluctance to help me get guests involved in this wedding I might elope and marry myself at this rate

Stop going in circles.
Don't book another venue for the evening.
Have the wedding you want.
Tell people when it finishes.
Enjoy the afternoon tea.

Stop over thinking it.

Some people want to have a big wedding with lots of food. Some people don't. It has nothing to do with what you want.

Your wedding isn't an inconvenience. People will travel to take part in your celebrations. Just stop thinking about it. You've already decided what you and your DP want.

Ah love. Don't fret about it. Do what you planned, and if something else evolves on the day that's fine and if not that's fine too. But don't plan something you don't really want. That way regret lies...

Tell your bm s it will be their turn one day. The best weddings ate when the b and g have not been pressured ( or try to impress). Do it your way and you will have a ball

Why do you let them pressure you?? It's your big day! I'd be mega p** off if someone tried to tell me what to do on my wedding day!

And I agree, you don't want to add pressure to the day and the way you originally planned it sounds perfect.
So tell them they can do what they want on their wedding but this is your and your future hubby's day so back off!

What sort of friends are they anyway if they don't respect your wishes??
They're not real friends obviously.....

I would like to know why your DP isn't sticking up for you to the bridesmaids over the evening do issue. If there are likely to only be a handful of people still there in the evening, because the rest have gone home, why doesn't he spell that out to the bridesmaids?

"There will not be enough people to make booking an evening venue viable, this is why we are not having one. You are welcome to join us for cocktails after the tea is finished, or you can go for a meal or to a club later, or whatever you wish, but we will not be joining you. Please stop harassing Isthis, it is unfair and unkind. I expect you to apologise to her, or reconsider whether you want to be part of our day. DP."

I feel that if he can't do this for you, it's not a good sign.

have the wedding YOU planned and love it.dont be anxious.your wonderful and beautiful and that y ur marrying someone who loves every part of you.
I might suggest if you have guest coming far and wide or lng distance/staying over etc.if they or you are having so much fun you don't want to leave eachother into the night.suggest a pizza even.or play it by ear could the ycome to your hotel bar.but only on your say or want so.
but make it clear guys this isn't on us!

Sorry, OP - must have misremembered from an alternative thread re the BM ages, and mixed them up! Regardless, it still stands - seems to only be the Bfs who are bothered with making you do more than you want, as you said the family are fine, some are staying and some not. If I remembered right this time!

Dpnt get upset over it. It is YOUR wedding, not their's. Don't look at more venues, do what YOU and your DP want, and enjoy it.