To ask if my wedding plans are REALLY enough?

[Isthismummy]

Posted about this before, but really stressing about the fact that friends are STILL trying to get me to add more to the day.

Getting married in Central London in Summer. Registery office wedding at 12.45 and afterwards we will be walking ten minutes to our favourite hotel where we have booked the library for a champagne afternoon tea reception. We have the room for our exclusive use until 20.00 and husband to be and I have a room booked at same hotel for wedding night.

We're only having 18 guests. The plan was that we would have Afternoon Tea etc and people could either stay on until later with us if they wished to drink the cocktail menu dry, or go home if they'd had enough. We just want a low pressure, relaxed day.

However my bridesmaids think it is isn't enough. They originally tried to persuade us to organise a night time do somewhere else. We've now vetoed that idea and now that's changed to booking a table at a restaurant later on in the evening after hotel.

AIBU to be pissed off that they don't seem to think my plans are enough? We've got six hours exclusive use of a beautuful room at a four star hotel ffs! I appreciate some guests are travelling from North East and want to make a day of it, but it's making me feel really stressed and like my plans are inadequate in some way

Sounds bloody perfect. Do what makes you happy, life is too short. Congratulations

happyflappy

Thank you for your input on how me and my fiancé spend our money.

I can think of few things duller than the church wedding followed by a boring chicken with two veg or variant, listening to boring speeches and then dance. Yawn. Lasts too fucking long.

So much nicer, the late wedding followed by buffet and piss up, your whole day free to do something else, the afternoon tea wedding, the potluck/picnic wedding.

What does age have to do with anything?

Still trying to discover the magical properties of 'hot' food and how people need it or they'll be hungry or get drunker faster.

'So guests will be there because they are relatives therefore can't just say no.'

Sure they can.

You are very welcome Sonya

If you would like any more suggestions, just let me know

Do what you want don't be railroaded into something else. Just be clear so people know what to expect and timings. A lot of people will be happy with an early finish and no evening do. Sounds lovely to me. When I've had a proper afternoon tea eg at Celtic manor 5 star hotel I've only had a light snack before bed and I eat !

We had a venue similarly close to ceremony and we then left at 9.30pm having organised for a relative to close up venue (about an hour later). It was very relaxing and special. Could you be waved off on a taxi/limo ride around London's sights only returning to your lovely room when all guests have gone home (or taken themselves to a further venue if they wish)?

It sounds perfect! Don't change a thing.

Your plans sound lovely. Memorable and personal. The best wedding s I've been to sound Iike yours.
In the nicest possible way, they can feck off.

Sounds absolutely blissful

For my wedding, we had 14 guests. We got married in a register office, then went and got some photos done while our guests had a ride in a comedy limo. Afterwards we went to an extremely posh 5* hotel for a champagne afternoon tea and then went for more drinks in said hotel's bar hoping to spot some celebs. For the evening we'd booked the upstairs of a pub and then some friends came to join us for several more drinks. It was relaxed and just perfect. We had to fight parents and family all the way to do it our way but they all loved it in the end. (Btw, I had no bridesmaids, dh had no best man, we just had his friend and my sister as our witnesses.) I'm not good with stress and having it so small and informal meant I could relax and enjoy the day.

Totally up to you- it's your day.. ditch the bridesmaids? They seem to be missing the point!
If people are still hungry they can get a McDonalds themselves, afterwards!! LOL!

We had a very similar wedding to your plans OP, with 12 guests, including five children (ours and guests). We had a lovely civil ceremony followed by a beautiful afternoon tea, which everyone loved, and it was utterly lovely.

Mind you, we were determined to do it how we wanted - I've been married before and was bullied by my parents into 100 guests with a sit down dinner, very formal, and it wasn't what my ex or I wanted. We were young and broke so kept the peace and went along with it. There were people at our wedding we had to be introduced too - ridiculous!

This time was so much better. We had a beautiful, relaxed day. We did have an adults (and kids over 12) dinner later on, but that's because we were all staying in the same place, and wasn't part of the wedding as such.

Stick to your plans, they sound gorgeous!

You have it just right.

Remember. Your wedding your rules. Have a great day.

Sounds lovely and very classy. I think this is enough - much better than these huge tacky affairs with average food that cost a bomb.. Absolutely no need for changes.

Have to say, I decent afternoon tea sounds tastier than a fair proportion of wedding food. Was slightly concerned about your timings for non-locals, but if all the people from further away have already committed to paying for 2 nights in a London hotel, then that one's probably sorted too (finishing at 5/6 would mean able to get a train home, finishing at 8 is rather late for travelling back, but also rather late for dinner and a show, but too early for sloping off to bed), so just leaves the dynamics issues someone mentioned above. Basically whether any of the non-locals, are flying solo, and if so do they know anyone else. I can vouch that London is much less fun for eating out/show/whatever if you're on your own rather than in a couple or group.

Although the wedding isn't to my taste I just want to add I do think it's wrong for your relatives to suggest doing other things. They should show up,make the most of it and go out afterwards if that's what they want without involving you

Tell your bridesmaids to organise whatever they want together after the ceremony for them and other guests they want, but you and your new husband will be going back to the posh hotel you booked. Your wedding. Your way. I eloped to Vegas in April (just us two) and it was AMAZING! It's your wedding, do it your way! And congratulations!! Xx

*The OP has explained repeatedly what is meant by "afternoon" tea and still some posters are insisting they would feel hungry very shortly afterwards.

They would still be hungry by 6/7pm after as much food as they could pack inside them three hours earlier? shock*

Sukey it's not about the amount for me. I don't like cakes or pastries, and quite frankly, as I have sandwiches for lunch every day, I'm not really interested in eating them for a special occasion, no matter how nice they may be. So, yes, I'd be hungry and take myself off to find some soup or hot food.

No such thing as a normal wedding. Have a look on Mn and you will find that, even this thread has a number of very different formats.

And still not sure why people insist they will be hungry 3 hours after eating an unlimited afternoon tea which has several types of sandwiches, scones and cakes. Or is it the same people who think that it is only a proper meal if it is warm somehow?

I don't like cakes or pastries, and quite frankly, as I have sandwiches for lunch every day

But that isn't the op's fault.
She could offer any amount of food and you will get someone saying, well I don't like x y z. Or, oh I have meat and two veg every other day of the week.
That is just a personal preference. You'd be hungry simply because you chose not to eat sandwiches and because you don't like any form of cake or pastry, not because of the amount of food on offer.

I don't like meat. I have been to many a wedding evening (talking from about 6pm onwards on invitation so crossing a meal time) where there has been NOTHING on offer for me to eat (last one was bacon butties and sausage butties) or the one DH and I went to where the only food on offer in the evening was various cheeses and pork pie - DH doesn't like cheese, I don't like met. However, that was because of our own personal preferences, not the fault of the B&G.

Still trying to discover the magical properties of 'hot food' and why a 'proper' meal must consist of it or it is somehow not a meal. Funny, the body just sees nutrients and calories . . .

I don't like cakes or pastries, either.

It's not the OP's fault at all. I'd be delighted to go to her wedding. It sounds great! I'm just giving an explanation of why people might not "eat as much food as they could pack inside them"

Afternoon tea with fizz, cocktails with nibbles for those who wish, then newlyweds go off to enjoy their expensive room/pass out at 8pm. Pissed bridesmaids continue drinking and go dancing. You reserve right to change your mind and join them. Maybe put carriages at 8 for bride and groom on invite. DO NOT book restaurant. Your wedding sounds lovely OP xx

This is going round the houses now.

OP, your wedding sounds so lovely and so nice.

So, to solve the problem of food, I would just say on the invites that it is afternoon tea and champagne until X o'clock. At which time we will be leaving for our honeymoon.

Guests then know what the picture is, and know they have to cater for themselves after the tea party.

I would just do this, and feck off at 7pm or so and leave them at it.

As the song said, "you can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself"

I think once people know the drill, all will be fine.

Woah OP, it's YOUR wedding ffs. Your original plan sounds lovely. It is not a bride & groom's responsibility to provide a day's worth of food- have your bridesmaids entirely missed the bloody point of the day?