To ask if my wedding plans are REALLY enough?

[Isthismummy]

Posted about this before, but really stressing about the fact that friends are STILL trying to get me to add more to the day.

Getting married in Central London in Summer. Registery office wedding at 12.45 and afterwards we will be walking ten minutes to our favourite hotel where we have booked the library for a champagne afternoon tea reception. We have the room for our exclusive use until 20.00 and husband to be and I have a room booked at same hotel for wedding night.

We're only having 18 guests. The plan was that we would have Afternoon Tea etc and people could either stay on until later with us if they wished to drink the cocktail menu dry, or go home if they'd had enough. We just want a low pressure, relaxed day.

However my bridesmaids think it is isn't enough. They originally tried to persuade us to organise a night time do somewhere else. We've now vetoed that idea and now that's changed to booking a table at a restaurant later on in the evening after hotel.

AIBU to be pissed off that they don't seem to think my plans are enough? We've got six hours exclusive use of a beautuful room at a four star hotel ffs! I appreciate some guests are travelling from North East and want to make a day of it, but it's making me feel really stressed and like my plans are inadequate in some way

It sounds perfect, that's what I'd really love to do. Your bridesmaids need to keep their opinions to themselves. It's your day and it's about you and your DP celebrating your love the way you want to. Have a beautiful day

mollymaid

I don't think it sounds boring at all.

Doesn't sound boring to me Molly

I think it sounds lovely!

Doesn't sound boring to me either. A little quieter than some weddings perhaps but hats often by a bad thing tbh. Also sounds classy and elegant.

And more importantly it is WHAT THE BRIDE ABD GROOM WANT!

molly, what would make a wedding not boring, according to your specifications?

The only real difference between the OP's wedding and the general run of weddings in the UK, is that it is less long, and centred around afternoon tea, rather than dinner.

If it wraps up at 8 then there is nothing to stop them from booking (& paying) their own table somewhere afterwards! They have plenty of notice. The important bit is the ceremony, anything else is a bonus. I hate seeing brides being peer pressured or bullied into things by friends and family! It's unfair and happens too often. Enjoy your day as you wish it to be!

A friend recently got married in a registry office, and declined even to have music to walk in to the ceremony room. They had a new outfit each, and a meal at a lovely local restaurant for a few close friends and family, then everyone went home. Another friend has spent, and I kid you not, between £25 - £27,000 on a wedding and honeymoon . People must do what they want - it's not the business of others, and if they want to party all night then they can...just not with you! It's so bad that you feel under pressure - can you not tell these people that they are making you feel stressed, and although you understand they are just offering you alternatives you have already decided, and chosen to have the day as YOU want it?

Sounds gorgeous to me, just what I wish we had done! Afternoon tea is my favourite meal...

Enjoy your day!

Thought I'd throw in my opinion ... The bridesmaids (and anybody else) are at liberty to book themselves a table for an evening meal. You shouldn't book it for them. And you should warn them that you won't be joining them, as you and your new hubbie will be "busy" elsewhere If you and hubbie are hungry, have a nice little room-service dinner a deux!

Don't listen to the people saying your guests will be hungry! We went to this afternoon tea the other week and we can eat! Especially the OHs - they brought us so many extra sandwiches, cakes and even Wonka bars we could barely move! We ended up with four boxes filled with leftovers (which we didn't have a nibble of until about 1am after much drinking) - nothing was too much trouble for them!

The drinks on the other hand were on the expensive side even for London (JD and coke was £15 ) so maybe you could suggest a nearby pub (if there is one) where people can get cheaper drinks and food if they want to?

Either way I'm sure you'll have a great time, much better than my upcoming traditional wedding (jealous!) send an invite my way too!

It sounds perfect to me. Just make it clear on the invite that it will be a champagne and cake type reception as otherwise people may expect more to eat. Champagne Tea sounds a perfect description. Don't worry about the lack of white doves and sugared almonds. I spent very little on my wedding and it meant we could spend more on our honeymoon etc. I'm also a believer that often the bigger the wedding, the shorter the marriage! I would say that it would be a good idea to have a proper wedding cake to cut though. Also don't stint on wedding rings. They don't need to be expensive but they need to last!

Sounds wonderful! We're getting married next May - register office then local pub garden, tipi tent and field. Close family only so about 25-30 of us. Will prob go out with close friends beforehand but nothing big and lavish for us. It's YOUR day!

Sounds like a lovely day to me don't feel pressured to change it it your wedding day. If people want to go out for a meal etc after let them organise it and you retire to your honeymoon sweet to enjoy being married. Congratulations by the way

Plan your own wedding the way you want it. Yours sounds very much like mine. 20 immediate family at registry office & walked to restaurant for lunch. They went home mid afternoon, we went to swanky hotel and had dinner with about 20 friends. No dress, no cars, no flowers, no cake, no photographs, no bridesmaids, no wedding favours. It's the marriage that's important, not spending a fortune on your guests or making yourself uncomfortable with a big, showy do when you don't want that. Stick to your guns.

Sounds wonderful. It is your day not theirs tell them that they can do that at their weddings.

A normal wedding is an all day affair after all guests will be bringing you wedding gifts and some might even give you some money in cards. People may also buy new outfits, pay for travel and other food expenses.

So guests will be there because they are relatives therefore can't just say no. I'd like to know the age of all the people who disagree with me. If all your guest are older then yes it sounds lovely but I think it sounds dull. I can drink and mingle to my hearts content but constantly looking at my watch as we've to leave at 8.

Do what you will it's your day but it does sound dull which is obviously why your guests are trying to make more plans after.

I'd much rather have a slap up posh afternoon tea with endless sandwiches and cake and bubbly than the second rate ham salad dinner that you so often get at weddings.

Woah Mollie! There's no such thing as a 'normal' wedding!

Personally, I would feel extremely drunk and/or ill after an afternoon's boozing with only some sandwiches and scones to line my stomach. And then the party ends at 8pm and your sozzled guests will have to seek out their own evening meal.

So, personally, I would probably have to leave early because I'd need to seek out an evening meal elsewhere.

I got married for the second time almost a year ago and we both decided it would be a day for us. Quick registry office, walk over the road for informal pics in the park then short walk to town for £6.99per head all you can eat Chinese buffet that closed at 3pm. We buggered off and spent the afternoon by the sea (we're in Plymouth) before a night in a holiday in drinking ginger beer and watching Bond. Every one of our guests has commented on how simple but lovely our day was because everyone was relaxed and low key... your day is for YOU and if other people don't like it that's their issue!

Quite frankly I don't know how people have the nerve to question what you are doing for you own wedding. It's a free day out for them with food you are paying for and if they don't like it then why don't they stay at home. I think it's an honor to be invited out to a wedding.

mollymaid

I'm 33 and dropping £40k on an all day massive white wedding so I'm not someone who finds these big weddings tedious or whatever else a lot of mumsnet say.

But while this is a different approach and won't last as long, it has its own charm and appeal, and a lot of people would prefer something less formal and lengthy. It's just personal choice and neither is better or worse. people can still celebrate with OP and her new husband, have a drink and a natter and if after that they feel the night is young they can go out elsewhere afterwards. It's shorter but I don't understand why that makes it "boring"

What people are spending to attend isn't the point; OP is hosting her guests properly, just choosing not to have an evening reception.

Sounds lovely to me! Our wedding was similarly low key, and it was a fabulous day. Please don't be pressured by your bridesmaids to change the arrangements.

The OP has explained repeatedly what is meant by "afternoon" tea and still some posters are insisting they would feel hungry very shortly afterwards.

They would still be hungry by 6/7pm after as much food as they could pack inside them three hours earlier?

I'm 33 and dropping £40k on an all day massive white wedding

I'm sorry. I think I need to lie down . . . .