Hasn't put his hand in his pocket for 48 hours

[Ferrisday]

My cousin's son is staying for a long weekend from overseas.
He's a student
I've paid for everything and I'm down about £200.
He hadn't offered to pay for a even a drink.
I feel very guilty moaning about this as I'm remembering when I was 18 and his family paid for me I'm sure.
But I'm really juggling money atm.
I don't want to go out today if I have to fork out more money.
And he was out on a pub crawl with friends last night and got an uber back

Y'know you could have told him money was tight because of some financial issues without going into detail. He's still young so I'm sure he would have accepted not to have drinks and food out or do anything costly. And being young, maybe he could have carried the bag with food/drinks in it ;). Unfortunately neither her nor his parents clocked that as a single widowed parent, they should perhaps not have expected you to foot the bill. Glad you got through it and I now understand your anger. It must be hard.

I've been trying to find where my £2000 payment to John Lewis has gone, it seems it's disappeared into the ether.

Fuuuuurk I hope you get that sorted!

YABU

On Friday, they said it had been reversed. No idea why. I'm still trying to find it. My bank said the payment was fine, defintely not recalled.

Little dragon, i know
But I feel it's a very personal thing and I don't really want it up for discussion. Hopefully only temporary.

He's gone now
We had a nice dinner with ds and a good laugh.
So I spent all Friday, most of Sat, and all today with him.
He had a good trip

Well I'm sorry I said you were a bad host you are obviously going through a lot at the moment and hosting a teenager and spending cash wasn't what you needed right now.

It wasn't v nice of me

OP I wouldn't expect my student son to pay at say my sisters or vice versa, but I would have made sure to give my sister money and would expect (but may not get!) the same back

Did his parents not say anything?

Can people please stop saying 'uber' and just say taxi. That's what they are.

That's ok Kiroro, I can see how it looks, thank you though.

Ted- I haven't even spoken to his parents! Arranged it with him directly
His mum asked me when he stayed last year, but that was a bit more complex trip

There is a difference. Ubers are generally a lot cheaper. And if you say taxi in London people think Black cab, which is extortinate!
It's a verb now too, "did you Uber here?"!!

It's annoying though, I agree

Honestly OP if it were me and my son, I would have sent money directly or with him to give with express instructions to hand it over.. certainly wouldn't leave it to my dopey 20 year old and he would've have the cash anyway. The fault lies with the parents who asked the favour in my opinion

Why are you spending so much money on him?? We've had rellies visiting from overseas before, we didn't chuck £100s at them!

Ah just saw the parents didn't ask.. even so how did they think it would be funded.

Can people please stop saying 'uber' and just say taxi. That's what they are.

Well actually it is a licensed private hire vehicle. :-)

Yes re uber being a verb - "ugh its raining, shall we uber?"

Damn OP i hope u manage to find the money and sort it all out x

Thank you Ferrisday. They aren't cheaper round here. They are widely despised for trying to undercut local businesses and put them out of business by offering discounts. Lots of our local firms have apps the same that you can book online and track your car. It's not a verb round here, no one says it. I only hear it from southerners. I absolutely hate uber.

The child had La Mer products!
Different student life nowadays
We had mushrooms growing in our bathroom

I kind of get you Ferris, a few months ago a close friend came to stay as a stop over on their way to somewhere to break up the journey and I was really struggling at the time with anxiety. I have known them decades but by the time they arrived I just couldn't cope and wanted them to go home.

Then there's the teenage traveller (friend) who turns up with 2 hangers-on(unknown) and they stay for a week without so much as buying a chocolate bar to share with us. Blown my pension-based food budget out of the water.

They have just left, with not a backward glance or wave. 120 km round trip to take them to their bus. The British upper class lacks manners and breeding - I am beyond pissed off. Their parents are going to receive a blistering account of their offspring's behaviour, before I have to tackle all the sheets and duvet covers, cups and utensils abandoned in their room for the "help" to take care of, together with the wet towels and facecloths just left in the bathroom. So much for posh schools and indulgence - the inculcation of social skills beyond the consulting of their phones 24/7, and the teaching of a bit of gratitude for hospitality would be a far better investment.