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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A 27 year old woman dating an 18 year old man

237 replies

user1488318718 · 02/03/2017 22:43

What would you make of this situation?

Woman has known man since he was born. Their parents are best friends and so for years we're practically brought up together.

Then aged 9, they went to different schools and had ceased to see each other at all. Aged 27, woman meets the mans sister and they become close. She introduces woman to her brother and after several months there seems to be an attraction from both.

Woman is in a similar profession to the university course man has just started.

Only problem is, while man is very mature, he's only 18. She is 27 and 28 in a few weeks.

Wrong on many different levels and an absolute no go?

Aibu, to say it is.

OP posts:
Schwifty · 02/03/2017 23:04

Congratulations Isthismummy!

Pseudonym99 · 02/03/2017 23:04

She's female and he's male, so its fine. If it was the other way around everyone would be up in arms even though it would be legal. Go figure...

Mynestisfullofempty · 02/03/2017 23:05

Then aged 9, they went to different schools and had ceased to see each other at all.

That makes no sense at all. If she's 9-10 years older than he is, only she would have been at school at 9.

Mynestisfullofempty · 02/03/2017 23:07

If you mean when he was aged 9, she would have been 18 or 19 and so that would not have been the point at which they went to different schools.

WorraLiberty · 02/03/2017 23:07

I think at that age (18) ten years is a big age gap.

But there's nothing really wrong with it.

ItsBarnezyBitch · 02/03/2017 23:08

YABU

Its legal and not a large gap really.

I see no problem here.

ClothEaredBint · 02/03/2017 23:09

I wouldn't bat an eyelid, but then I met my DH when I was 19 and he was 33.

We've now been together 16 years. He is 13.6yrs older than I am.

tillytown · 02/03/2017 23:10

What's the problem? There are plenty of men in their 30's dating 18/19 year old women and no one cares

80sMum · 02/03/2017 23:10

If he was 38 and she was 47, it would fine. But he's only 18, barely out of the nest, and she is an adult, albeit still very young. He can't have very much in common with her, surely? But ultimately, it's their choice and perfectly legal.

stonecircle · 02/03/2017 23:11

When I was 26/27 I went out with someone at work who was 19/20. It didn't occur to me that anyone would be looking at us and thinking it was wrong Confused

Pinkheart5915 · 02/03/2017 23:11

Meh what two adults get up to is up to them. When I met dh I was 19, him 29 and we are still together 10 years and 2 dc later

MrsSchadenfreude · 02/03/2017 23:12

A friend of mine married her DH when she was 29 and he was 19. They've now been married over 20 years. What's the issue?

thebakerwithboobs · 02/03/2017 23:13

Are you his mum op??

pipsqueak25 · 02/03/2017 23:14

is this a reverse by any chance or something else? and more to the point , people has asked op questions so what is op's take on them ?

RedBullBlood · 02/03/2017 23:15

You do come up with some interesting posts, op...
Do you live in Royston Vasey?

They're adults, and their relationship is not your business.

Clnz4fun · 02/03/2017 23:15

Personal preference really, they are both consenting adults despite age and life difference's. I can't imagine being interested in anyone under the age of 20 and I'm a couple years younger than her but I'm willing to stay open minded highly doubt it will change .

GrinAndTonic · 02/03/2017 23:16

Half your age plus seven is the lowest you can go in regards to dating younger Grin so according to this 'rule' he is too young.
However, they are both legal consenting adults so who cares. I mean look at Mick Jagger. I think he probably has grandchildren older then his wife. Yeah it's kind of icky but who really cares.

LoupGarou · 02/03/2017 23:17

I think it depends a lot on the people involved and the dynamics of the relationship. Obviously if anyone is getting taken advantage of then it's a different matter.

When I was 17 (nearly 18) I was living (not in the UK) with my ex who is more than twenty years older than me, we were together for a lot of years and he is still my best and closest friend now.

S1lentAllTheseYears · 02/03/2017 23:18

It's not wrong but I wouldn't be thrilled about it if I was the lad's mum. I'd worry that they would be at such different stages in their lives and he might be rushed into settling down when he should be enjoying student life, especially if her biological clock was banging (she'll be 30 by the time he's finished uni...) I'd have to put my concerns to one side and be welcoming to her though. And then just see what happens - it could be fine.

Are you related to either of them?

littlefrog3 · 02/03/2017 23:19

It's OK for a bit of a laugh and a bit of cheeky snogging, but it can't be taken seriously. Not with an 18 y.o. lad!

Thing is, males are so immature and don't start to 'grow up' til 25-30 ish (and then not that much!) and women start to grow up at 21-23. So really, even though it's only a 9 year age gap, it seems much larger when she is the older one.

I could never have imagined in a million YEARS being with an 18 y.o. when I was nearly 30! Gross. What are you gonna talk to him about? Skateboarding and X box? Thing is also, settling down will be the last thing on any normal 18 y.o. lad's mind; it will be the first thing on a 27 y.o. woman's mind. Very unlikely to work IMO.

WhiteCaribou · 02/03/2017 23:20

Actor Aaron Johnson got together with Film Director Samantha Taylor-Wood when he was 18 and she was 42. They got married in 2012 and now have two daughters. It seems to be working pretty well for them.

slithytove · 02/03/2017 23:23

Ok, so Jenny and Phil are friends the same age.

Jenny meets phils sister Marie. They become friends.

Marie starts dating Jenny's younger brother mark.

That the scenario?

It's fine.

reuset · 02/03/2017 23:23

They're both adults, it's not a massive age gap really. In another few years would you really care, OP?

Isthismummy · 02/03/2017 23:23

Thank you Schwifty🙂

RedBullBlood · 02/03/2017 23:24

Then aged 9, they went to different schools

If he was 9 she would be a school leaver, surely?

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