The cafe guy called me FAT

[PonyPals]

I was having a lovely day to my self shopping and decided to grab a coffee. I ordered a skinny latte and the guy said 'you know there is so much sugar in skinny milk, you shouldn't drink it and that is why you are Fat. I was so shocked 😳 and embarrassed and mumbled something like... I like being Fat and walked off.
I wish I had the guts to say something! What would you do?

OP: I am sending you my love. The man was rude and hurtful and yes you should complain to him.

Opalfruits: I am just so glad I don't know you and I am not even vaguely like you- if I say any more I'll be chucked off.

To the poster (forgot tag name) - I too have a very serious medical condition that will likely kill me sooner rather than later but I would NEVER EVER blame someone for being overweight as weight issues have so many roots and causes that we cannot possibly know.

Obesity is a social problem that adversely affects us all - He's well within his rights to comment.

I see it in the same capacity as someone dropping litter, or smoking around children. Obesity is anti social, and known to be 'catching' so I think it ok for people to pull other people up on it tbh.

FWIW, I think the recent trend towards tolerance of obesity is to a large extent responsible for the current crisis we face.

BitOutOfPractice Your wry smile is misplaced I never said such a thing.

That's awful. I like BillSykes's response.

I think it would have stuck in my craw to actually pay for a coffee there. Either I would have walked out and left him with it in his hand without paying or I would have insisted that for his shocking rudeness it should be given to me for free. Nobody deserves such comments.

Why is it so hard for you to believe that such security it oneself is attainable?

Opal it is attainable, I suppose, if you are cold fish who doesn't care about other people or have any social sense at all.

I picked aesthetic criteria because that's what the rude git in the cafe did. I'm fine with how I look, but if someone set out to insult me on the basis of how I looked, I would be hurt, because another person was trying to hurt me, or at least not be caring whether I was hurt or not. I would feel under attack because I would indeed be under attack. Whether the person was correct in their avenue of attack is irrelevant.

Goldfishing you sound nice. I bet you are a riot at parties.

And you're to be found in pubs and bars, are you, Goldfishing, earnestly going round informing the punters that alcohol is a serious social and medical problem that contributes to road accidents, violence, and disease?

When did you last shoo everyone out of the alcohol aisle at your supermarket, or point at the basket of the person in front of you at the till and say, "You shouldn't be having that"?

You're well within your rights to comment, after all.

But I bet you chose not to.

Why is that?

Obesity is a social problem that adversely affects us all - He's well within his rights to comment

I see it in the same capacity as someone dropping litter, or smoking around children. Obesity is anti social, and known to be 'catching' so I think it ok for people to pull other people up on it tbh.

Being fucking rude is a social problem that affects us all too. Excuse me while I pull you up on it.

Obesity is a social problem that adversely affects us all - He's well within his rights to comment.

ICYMI, fat-shaming doesn't bloody work, so if you're so incredibly concerned and well-meaning, you might want to change that attitude. Because you're flat-out wrong.

FWIW, I think the recent trend towards tolerance of obesity is to a large extent responsible for the current crisis we face.

What do you mean "the tolerance of obesity"? Do you think fat people should be ostracised from society or shamed at any given opportunity?

Goldfishing interesting first and only post.

Fat shaming doesn't work.
Correct.
Self control does.

Anyone else feeling like going and standing in public places so people catch obesity off them? Until some hero like Goldfishing pulls them up, of course.

To the fat cave, fatman! Muha!

Fat shaming doesn't work.
Correct.
Self control does.

And it's always as simple as eating better is it? How is it that so many people struggle with their weight then? Changing an unhealthy pattern of eating is bloody difficult, whether you're eating too much or too little.

Really impressed with all these experts on how to tackle obesity. Goldfish and Opal you should team up, form a thinktank.

Pity none of your methods (shaming fat people, telling them to "exercise self-control") actually work.

Fat shaming doesn't work.
Correct.
Self control does.

Does it? My goodness! I never knew! All this time, all the diets and methods and philosophies people have tried for decades and you, Opal, you had the answer all along! Medical and psych professionals the world over have tried, but you might just have clinched the Nobel Thin Prize. Brava! This issue is so simple, clearly!

And it's always as simple as eating better is it? How is it that so many people struggle with their weight then? Changing an unhealthy pattern of eating is bloody difficult, whether you're eating too much or too little.

I agree. There should be a much more psychological approach to obesity. But there also has to be that moment, as will all addictive behaviour when you stop blaming others and take responsibility.

This is shocking, you really should write a letter of complaint to the owner. I would absolutely not want someone like that working for me, even if it was a family member, he has probably offended countless customers.

I'd send a letter of complaint and then continue to use the cafe if it suited me, I'd order my skinny lattes (and giant slices if she if I felt like it too!) and hold my head up high.

Fuck 'em!

Are you interested in results, Opal, or just interested in assigning blame? Because if it's results you are interested in, you need to accept that assigning blame does not work.

Goldfishing

known to be 'catching'

Do they throw doughnuts into other people's mouths? Count me in.

Answer: "No, actually it makes you clumsy .... WHOOPS! Sorry, that went all over you!"

ravenmum

If that was meant for me, I'll make sure it doesn't go to waste

The thing is, I would have been very upset in the past (I am v overweight) but now I am now old bint who really doesn't care as much. I would have said something like

"I would prefer that you didn't mention my weight again. If you do, it will make me not want to come in this shop or use your services again and you will have lost a regular customer"

What I don't understand is why someone who owns a small business that may be dependant on regular customers would want to upset/insult those customers . he need to understand that comments like that can lose him business

That's a horrible thing for the employee to say and I would complain to the manager.

I was once being served in Starbucks and there was someone chatting to the barista - it seemed that she knew all the staff so maybe either worked there and was off shift or an ex employee. Anyway, I'd ordered a skinny latte and whilst standing infront of me said loudly to the barista "don't you just hate it when these skinny people order skinny drinks and they actually need some fat on them."

ArcheryAnnie There is a difference between blame and responsibility