Interesting letter from a volunteer to non volunteers

[Narnia72]

Volunteering

I hope the link works. We often have discussions about "worthy" volunteers with regard to school activities, but this was a thought provoking read. It was timely for me as my son's football team is having to close the younger age group classes as there's no-one to coach (made up of volunteer coaches). It made me think about all the volunteers who give their time to run low cost groups for my kids; brownies, cubs, football, messy church, netball, youth drama are all run by volunteers. When you talk to them it's clear there is a circuit- they often start on the pre school committee, then progress onto PFA, governors, then to the clubs that their children are interested in. It's very much the same people, over and over again. Why is that?

It also reminded me of a conversation I had recently with a brown owl, who had been spoken to very rudely by a parent, complaining about the activities on offer, and why they didn't do more. When asked if she would help, this parent recoiled in horror and said "but I PAY you to do this for my kids". There's clearly a massive lack of understanding about what these roles are.

So, open to debate. Do your children benefit from activities run by volunteers? Do you value them? Do you volunteer yourself? If not, do you look to help in any way, either by donations to the group, or supporting fundraising events? Do you ever think to say thank you to the volunteers? This is not meant to be a goady post, I volunteer in a minor capacity at school, but although I do value what the external clubs do for my kids, I am guilty of taking the volunteers who run them very much for granted. I am going to say thanks to them all this week!

I'm trying to help the football team attract coaches (football sadly not something either me or DH are in any way skilled at), and have met with so much apathy and indifference, but also entitlement, as though the tiny sub they pay guarantees a 5 star service.

I know the letter writer is a bit sanctimonious, but thought there were some good points in and amongst. Thoughts?

Who needs a community after all?

Bertrand Russell- when my son's rugby coach sends out the team list, he also allocates tasks to parents. So, "flags - madonnaDS's parents, checking changing rooms, Tarquin's parents, etc

I'm another that did the circuit of PTA etc, now my DC are grown up I do a few other voluntary roles, that I've got into over the years.

I do it for the children I help out, not their parents. I object to people calling me egotistical, I have some spare time, so I use it to help others, end of story.

I manage the other volunteers in one of the groups I am in, and sometimes it's fun, other times it's extremely hard. I've had to deal with a bereavement, an incident which involved our HO, numerous health problems causing shortages of volunteers and lately someone who is trying to take over and run it, as they obviously think I'm not capable, even though I've been doing it for twenty years... It's certainly not all brilliant.

Theonlylivingboyinnewcork.....But as I said earlier, our PTA doesn't seem to spend it on the kids....And we have to supply things for them to sell at the fete....

And thats a reason to sneer at everyone else who volunteers for anything?

He's a thought, if you don't like how the PTA is run, volunteer and change it.

There are people who diligently do lots of good work that people benefit from, but also those who only do it for the glory.

I have yet to see any volunteer get any 'glory.'

Mumzypoz Who needs a fete after all?

Because the kids love it?

There are people who diligently do lots of good work that people benefit from, but also those who only do it for the glory

Sez you.

I've been doing it for a long time, where's my glory? I don't remember every seeing any. Not that I'm looking for it, but I'd love to know what this glory is that we're in it for.....?

I'm chair of the PTA and a helper at Rainbows. I'm also currently working full time. I do it mostly because if I didn't no one else would. There are a lot of things about volunteering I enjoy but most of all I like how happy it makes my DD to have me involved at school and at rainbows. If is very time consuming though and I'm doing PTA stuff most nights. I don't expect thanks because I'm choosing to give my time through my own free choice. What I do find hard to deal with are the complaints from other parents. Yes probably there are things I could do better but I'm trying my best and if you're not prepared to help you shouldn't moan.

Theonlylivingboyinnewcork.....I don't sneer at everyone who volunteers....Not at all...there are lots of fantastic volunteers out there, working tirelessly, just at those who do it for the "look at me, aren't I marvellous aspect".

Another full time worker, main breadwinner, on the circuit volunteer. School governor, Brownie Leader, and volunteering lead at work. I dont understand why more people don't volunteer. Its fun, you make friends, it gets you out if the house, you contribute to making your community a better place, and you feel good about yourself.

My DS went on a trip with the cubs the weekend so yes I have thanked the leaders today. I don't volunteer.

However I have helped with various events at school and listened to children reading when my DS was in reception. I don't do loads but like to think it helps.

Anyone who volunteers for the 'look at me aren't I marvellous' aspect is going to be sorely disappointed. Volunteer barely get any thanks, never mind anyone thinking they're marvellous.

mum "look at me, aren't I marvellous". I have NEVER heard this attitude from any volunteer, ever. .

Heratnumber7....?I have, lots of times.

Wow the glory of a mention in the school newsletter.

If you want some of this incredible the glory mumzy you know what you can do..

Lots of people stop volunteering due to constant low level bullying. Not from their team mates but from the sneery person sitting on a chair that needs stacking half an hour after the event finishes.
People are free to take an active or passive part in their communities. Becoming a negative part of your community makes you a bit of a plonker.

I'd love to volunteer at a food bank and I've been looking at it this afternoon but then came the realisation that actually, i have no childcare fro my DD who is 6 mo.

I tried to volunteer to help out at beavers. But the odd, passive-aggressive leader just wouldn't let me. I have no idea why. She's always asking for her but seems annoyed at you if you actually volunteer.

Yes I work full time, have DCs and volunteer. Why because I found something seriously fun, I meet lots of people and we hold the meetings in the pub I'm on a festival committee and it is a blast. Yes we do get the odd keyboard warrior & moaner from the community - but that's life, if you put your head above the parapet there will always be those who moan. I'm quite nice to them, I can't see the point in getting upset. And it's a large event for a large community - so it's inevitable, as long as 99% have fun & there is no real incidents I am happy. Non volunteers are more than bloody welcome at the event - we need people who come to attend, eat, drink, dance be merry / get silly and have fun / not everyone needs to volunteer. We only grow the event to the size we as a committee can manage, we don't carry people who do nothing, but equally a few of our members are limited to what they can do - but their contributions are just as valid & it takes all those components to make it work. it takes 11 months of the year to arrange a two day event - but what a party. And at the end of it, I will normally be found nursing a beer or two in a corner (not quite rocking) but planning next year. Mmmm maybe I'm a little bonkers . Made some great friends, learnt a lot of skills and most of all its fun. What do I think of non volunteers - as I said above welcome, and please come, no one will ask you do anything but have fun

I do help out with the PTFA though. They're not weird or passive-aggressive about it like our beavers leader. If they ask for help and you volunteer, then the chair gives you stuff to do (and is nice about it).

I'll just volunteer again when DS2 goes to cubs. The cubs leader is much more sensible. (Obviously I am grateful to our beavers leader for the time she puts in, but I suspect she likes to be a martyr so isn't happy when you say that you're happy to stay and help out every week/help plan/whatever).

at volunteer glory. Regular, sincere thanks and the odd chocolate biscuit more like.

I have a professional volunteer manager and I suspect that makes a big difference - to recognition, support, visibility, boundaries. I take my hats off to those of you giving so many hours to projects you run more or less on your own.

Theonlylivingboyinnewcork.....I don't sneer at everyone who volunteers....Not at all...there are lots of fantastic volunteers out there, working tirelessly, just at those who do it for the "look at me, aren't I marvellous aspect"

Oh ok, you only sneer at the people you think aren't sufficiently quiet and humble about all the work they do to help others, while you do nothing? Well that's ok then, you should have said! Is there an actual test you give them or do you just judge?

Theonlylivingboyinnewcork......I wish you would get rid of your very chipped shoulder, you seem to believe my comments are aimed at you personally and are actively aggressive. You don't know what I do. You have no idea at all. If you aren't looking for any glory, then the comments are not aimed at you. In answer to your question, I sneer at those who don't volunteer for the good of the community / school / whatever it is they volunteer for, but for their name going up up in lights and the attention all on them. They are out there. If you aren't one of them, please stop protecting those people.