Interesting letter from a volunteer to non volunteers

[Narnia72]

Volunteering

I hope the link works. We often have discussions about "worthy" volunteers with regard to school activities, but this was a thought provoking read. It was timely for me as my son's football team is having to close the younger age group classes as there's no-one to coach (made up of volunteer coaches). It made me think about all the volunteers who give their time to run low cost groups for my kids; brownies, cubs, football, messy church, netball, youth drama are all run by volunteers. When you talk to them it's clear there is a circuit- they often start on the pre school committee, then progress onto PFA, governors, then to the clubs that their children are interested in. It's very much the same people, over and over again. Why is that?

It also reminded me of a conversation I had recently with a brown owl, who had been spoken to very rudely by a parent, complaining about the activities on offer, and why they didn't do more. When asked if she would help, this parent recoiled in horror and said "but I PAY you to do this for my kids". There's clearly a massive lack of understanding about what these roles are.

So, open to debate. Do your children benefit from activities run by volunteers? Do you value them? Do you volunteer yourself? If not, do you look to help in any way, either by donations to the group, or supporting fundraising events? Do you ever think to say thank you to the volunteers? This is not meant to be a goady post, I volunteer in a minor capacity at school, but although I do value what the external clubs do for my kids, I am guilty of taking the volunteers who run them very much for granted. I am going to say thanks to them all this week!

I'm trying to help the football team attract coaches (football sadly not something either me or DH are in any way skilled at), and have met with so much apathy and indifference, but also entitlement, as though the tiny sub they pay guarantees a 5 star service.

I know the letter writer is a bit sanctimonious, but thought there were some good points in and amongst. Thoughts?

Of course it's a request not a summons. I was addressing that to the person who said it just wouldn't occur to them to offer to help.
But are you really perfectly happy for your child to enjoy an activity provided by volunteers and not even help even a tiny bit? You'd happy to stand there while one person made 4 trips laden with stuff to put away?

But are you really perfectly happy for your child to enjoy an activity provided by volunteers and not even help even a tiny bit? You'd happy to stand there while one person made 4 trips laden with stuff to put away?

It just wouldn't occur to me to offer to help. If that makes me less worthy a person, then so be it.

Rousette...It was a few years ago, so don't think there are any plans to do anything for the juniors. Recently an old lady in the village had an accident, (she is completely unrelated to the school) and the PTA gave her some flowers and £100 worth if vouchers from PTA collected money. I didn't think it was their place to do so. That money should be spent on the kids. I'm thinking some PTAs will be better than others.

Bertrand remember, some people don't just stand there while you lug stuff around, they stand in your way and look affronted if you ask them to move.

Husband is just picking my boys up from Beavers so yes.

I didn't know until it was mentioned on here that the people that run the groups are volunteers, or that teachers don't get paid paid extra to go on long school trips.

Not that that would have altered my behaviour towards them at all, but it makes me all the more conscious when something irritating happens (late back or something).

I have volunteered. Don't particularly want to do it again.

Oh, wow, thanks for that link! I've found something that I could be very interested in...

Although the bits about standing around when people carry things hit home. I was at a playground with my baby and had to stand aside when everyone was carrying chairs and things back, and putting away playmats, etc. I was new and no one would know that I had only been using a walking stick just a few weeks before (and was again a few months later, for nearly a year, after stupidly carrying some furniture elsewhere). I felt the stares and it was horrible. I carried cups to the kitchen, but I couldn't walk very far yet and a few trips was all I could do. We moved and I didn't go often enough for anyone to see that. So I'm sure they all thought I was the lazy new person who couldn't even be stirred to help.

Yes, Pestilentialone, and when you take down tables and chairs after a show or party, they will sit on the last chair until you come and pull it from under their lazy arse. And put their rubbish on the last table the moment you come to fold it and schlep it away.

One day I'll do the experiment and shout "everyone still here in 1 minute will be issued with a litter picker and a bin bag" to see if that clears the grounds for those who will help to get on with it .

School fairs are the devil's work!

I think if people want to set things up and volunteer that's up to them. They shouldn't have a go at those who don't want to. Some people want all the glory, then when they get bored they moan at other people for not pitching in.

"It just wouldn't occur to me to offer to help. If that makes me less worthy a person, then so be it"
I don't know about worthy- but it does seem a bit.....odd... that people think like this. If you go to dinner at someone's house, do you offer to help clear the table? If you see someone struggling with a pushchair on a flight of steps so you not offer to help?

Yes, paxillin Do we do the same events?
Please come to our events, enjoy yourselves, please help a bit if you want, but please if you don't want to help, bugger off at the end. I want to go home to the pub

It just wouldn't occur to me to offer to help. If that makes me less worthy a person, then so be it

In any context, but particularly when you have already benefited from someone volunteering, standing watching someone do lots of work that yuo could easily help them out with does you make you a bit of an arse.

Some people want all the glory

Yeah we just love the glory involved in doing all the shit work that people like you rely on but sneer at us for doing, for free.

Fucking glorious.

Loopy

Around 40% of the population take part in formal volunteering, with a quarter volunteering at least once a month.

21.6 million people volunteer at least once a year and 13.8 million regularly formally volunteer.

Of course - some people might overestimate their involvement when replying to surveys.

www.ivr.org.uk/ivr-volunteering-stats/176-how-many-people-regularly-volunteer-in-the-uk

In any context, but particularly when you have already benefited from someone volunteering, standing watching someone do lots of work that yuo could easily help them out with does you make you a bit of an arse.
I couldn't agree more.

Yeah we just love the glory involved in doing all the shit work that people like you rely on but sneer at us for doing, for free.
Who the hell's sneering?! I may not volunteer, but I most certainly do NOT sneer. That's your own projection and hang-ups talking.
I hugely appreciate all the work volunteers do. You do a great job and I'd never dream of sneering.
Oh and I always dispose of my paper tea cups and crisp wrappers in the bin and tidy my own rubbish away too.

"Some people want all the glory" is sneery. As is all the "you do it for your own reasons so don't go looking for thanks".

I wonder why I give 20 hours a week to volunteer work sometimes. But then I remember how much the service users need it and appreciate it, and its worth doing.

i understand why people don't volunteer, I don't understand why people are such arses to those who do.

Theonlylivingboyinnewcork......If it's rubbish jobs and you don't like it, don't do it. Some people do want all the glory...It's a fact. Some people do help out and keep quiet about their part, others shout out how good they are for doing what they do.

God forbid anyone mentions the work they do to the people who benefit from it, they should just shut up and get on with it, should they?

FFS.

glitterazi, there was a poster who said Some people want all the glory, then when they get bored they moan at other people for not pitching in. earlier. That is a sneer.

If it's rubbish jobs and you don't like it, don't do it

So who is going to do it then? Not you, obviously.

The thing is... I think for some, they don't feel the guilt that I do at sitting there when others are say packing up chairs, taking cups to the kitchen, putting things away or whatever. I've run things before and after I've given up doing it for years, I will still carry my cup out or stack a few chairs. I can't quite get my head round why anyone wouldn't do that when it's obvious it needs doing and someone has to (and it falls to the same people)

I'm always ever so grateful if someone helps out, it means a lot, especially when they don't have to. Someone washed, wiped and put away about 40 mugs when I was sorting out the room the activity had been in. I was touched they did that because I'm so used to people just leaving it. No one has to do that but isn't it just kindness?

Someone washed, wiped and put away about 40 mugs when I was sorting out the room the activity had been in. and that folks is all it takes to become a valued volunteer.

Theonlylivingboyinnewcork...Some of the things don't really need doing...Who needs a fete after all?

As said, volunteering is a lot more than the PTA. And yes, you do need fetes, to make money, to spend on YOUR children.