Interesting letter from a volunteer to non volunteers

[Narnia72]

Volunteering

I hope the link works. We often have discussions about "worthy" volunteers with regard to school activities, but this was a thought provoking read. It was timely for me as my son's football team is having to close the younger age group classes as there's no-one to coach (made up of volunteer coaches). It made me think about all the volunteers who give their time to run low cost groups for my kids; brownies, cubs, football, messy church, netball, youth drama are all run by volunteers. When you talk to them it's clear there is a circuit- they often start on the pre school committee, then progress onto PFA, governors, then to the clubs that their children are interested in. It's very much the same people, over and over again. Why is that?

It also reminded me of a conversation I had recently with a brown owl, who had been spoken to very rudely by a parent, complaining about the activities on offer, and why they didn't do more. When asked if she would help, this parent recoiled in horror and said "but I PAY you to do this for my kids". There's clearly a massive lack of understanding about what these roles are.

So, open to debate. Do your children benefit from activities run by volunteers? Do you value them? Do you volunteer yourself? If not, do you look to help in any way, either by donations to the group, or supporting fundraising events? Do you ever think to say thank you to the volunteers? This is not meant to be a goady post, I volunteer in a minor capacity at school, but although I do value what the external clubs do for my kids, I am guilty of taking the volunteers who run them very much for granted. I am going to say thanks to them all this week!

I'm trying to help the football team attract coaches (football sadly not something either me or DH are in any way skilled at), and have met with so much apathy and indifference, but also entitlement, as though the tiny sub they pay guarantees a 5 star service.

I know the letter writer is a bit sanctimonious, but thought there were some good points in and amongst. Thoughts?

[Mumzypopz]

And budgiegirl...Yes they have recently said they have bought tablets for the school, but my kids have been going there ten years or so, and haven't really heard of them doing much else over the long term. And as I said, how important are a couple of tablets anyway? Most kids have them at home and could easily do mymaths on them at home.
And I have every confidence teachers can teach without them as they have done for hundreds of years, do I don't think they are that important anyway. I'm sure there may be some fantastic PTAs out there, but as I said, not sure they are absolutely necessary.

[Kr1stina]

Some of the things mentioned on this thread are SO interesting. Id love to go out for a drink with you all and hear about prison visiting , fostering cats or visiting offenders.

Certainly beats the usual suspects who bang on endlessly about TV programmes or Jacinthas ballet or house prices

🍺🍻🥂🍷🍸🍹🍾🥃

[Mumzypopz]

No, it doesn't mean they are, but if I can be bothered to take mine, so can they. It's not my responsibility to pay for other peoples children to get this sort of extra curricular activity, when I take mine myself and they can't be bothered. My point was it's not necessary, nice, but not necessary.

[Strongmummy]

Apologies if came across as patronising, but before I had my son I volunteered, went out 3 times a week, had a social life! I now don't coz I want to spend my free time with him, plus not forget who I am as a person. That's just fact. You become a parent you become busier! Apologies if the hobbies I choose are self indulgent and don't include giving my time to others, but I like being able to sing opera well and I like being strong. It makes me tick. Just as volunteering makes you tick. I don't want to volunteer at this stage in my life. Many others don't either. You've made your choice, I've made mine. I don't need to be told how I'm missing out or justify why I don't (any more than I already have felt forced to on this thread).

[Strongmummy]

Also fostering is not volunteering. It's paid and is incredibly full on and hard. It justifies a big salary. It is not the same as being a member of the PTA!!!

[budgiegirl]

It's not my responsibility to pay for other peoples children to get this sort of extra curricular activity

Well, that's ok then, because you're not involved with the PTA. Presumably those involved with the PTA feel differently.

[BertrandRussell]

"It's not my responsibility to pay for other peoples children to get this sort of extra curricular activity, when I take mine myself and they can't be bothered"
Bloody hell- and people are saying volunteers are smug and think themselves better than other people!

[Strongmummy]

Sorry, just saw it was fostering cats........! Not fostering kids

[TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork]

but if I can be bothered to take mine, so can they

There are a lot of reasons some kids don't get to do things, and its not just "can't be bothered". That's a judgemental and nasty way to look at it..." my kid's fine, wtf do I care about any other kids?"

[Mumzypopz]

Budgiegirl..I don't think they do at my school, because as I said, our PTA doesn't seem to do this sort of thing, ie planetarium s etc. The school have brought in authors etc and have paid for it out of school budget. I was saying, firstly our school PTA don't seem to do all these things and secondly I don't know how important they are anyway, as I can take my kids to these things anyway, and use their own tablets etc... Not having a pop at other PTAs or ours particularly, just musing how important they are in the first place. Some people on this thread were saying how people have benefited soooo much from PTAs, I don't think mine have particularly, and can prob do without them. I know people like to volunteer and not knocking them. I volunteer for things myself out of school for sporting activities.

[Mumzypopz]

Newcork....The others are fine too in my area, they aren't charity cases.

[murmuration]

supermoon - it's not a lame excuse for someone with social anxiety. I've not had a bad experience like some related on this thread, but if I did, I'd probably be terrified of interacting with any new people for months (I still have occasional flashbacks from striking up a conversation at the bus stop nearly 2 years ago... I don't talk to people I don't know at the bus stops anymore) and I certainly wouldn't try volunteering for that group again!

I think people are making some very good points about stage of life things. Sometimes people contribute at different points in their life -as I said, I used to do massive amounts of volunteering, but now working FT with a disability (and actually, FT is slightly beyond my capability, but we need the dosh), I just do a once-a-month thing I would have gone to anyway. I have a friend who is retiring, and she's been telling me about the organisations and boards she's getting ready to be on.

Also, I'm thinking that at any one event or group, you don't really know what else is going on. Not only life circumstances, but other volunteer contributions. The letter was all about school, but how does that person know those 'mums and dads' they address aren't fostering cats in their spare room, visiting prisons, befriending old people, etc?

I told DH all excited about the new opportunity I found that I thought I could accomplish. His response was lukewarm, and I understand he is looking out for me. And I'm also realising that when DD starts school I may want to save some energy for school-things: if I do this, I wouldn't have anything left. So I'm thinking to wait now until DD starts school, and see what we might get involved with there and what capability I have at that point (as I might be kidding myself, but I feel like my health is improving...).

[TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork]

Newcork....The others are fine too in my area, they aren't charity cases

Oh sure, not a single child in your area has any problems. Not one child doesn't get taken to the museums and planetariaums because of parents lack of money, or parental disability, or because they have siblings with issues that prevent it? None of them?
You must know a lot about everyone!

[Mumzypopz]

Maybe that's why they don't do stuff like that at our school, they don't feel the need.

[Mumzypopz]

Newcork..It really is a small village and small school. The PTA don't do this sort of thing, so guessing they recognise cuts not necessary too. The school does school trips, which we have to pay for, but nine times out of ten, it's to places the kids go to regularly. If people can't pay, (very small minority) , the school pay for them. We really don't need the PTA to arrange this sort of stuff, which is probably why they don't.

[Brownieleaderaa]

I have been a Brownie leader for 14 years (re title), I have had some amazing times with the girls and had some really supportive parents. I have also had some really down times when I have had groups of parents nit pick, a text complaining about a minor thing and no thanks when leaders spend days planning events and running them is so demotivating and does make you think of giving up. I started volunteering as the Brownie pack was going to close and someone did it for me when I was a child. 14 years on I now have a daughter who will be joining Brownies soon and already loves coming to the trips and events.

I am lucky in we do get a few presents bought at Christmas time, a little gesture to say thank you for the hours we put in over the year is so appreciated and makes us want to continue. Most parents buy for their child's teacher at Christmas and the end of school term, this is a lovely thank you for the work they put in (I know many teacher work very long hours outside of school time) - Us volunteers do the same I have been the only one who has bought for my daughters Rainbow leader over the last 18 months.

What I have realised on a number of occasions is that a lot of parents (and certainly the girls) don't realise that groups like guiding are run by volunteers, but think we are paid. When pregnant I was asked on a few occasions would I be giving up my job as a Brownie leader, I took 3 weeks off and was back. We also greatly subsidise trips and events by fund raising, a lot of voluntary groups can not exist without parents supporting a few fund raising events a year.

At the moment we have a great bunch of girls and most of the parents are supportive, so I am motivated to do more and more with the girls. To support the leaders you do not always have to volunteer, but a thank you goes a long way.

[TinfoilHattie]

PTAs are registered charities.

No, not all. Ours isn't. We are a not for profit organisation with a constitution and elected committee members. We are not a registered charity and don't need to be if we don't want to be. We do take minutes, hold AGMs (and tell people when they are being held), produce accounts, have the accounts independently checked.

We do tell parents at every opportunity what we are spending money on. Some of it is very visible like the new playground equipment we paid for (thousands of pounds worth). Other stuff like the new books for the libracry which are above and beyond what is provided as standard, is less visible. We send out newsletters, Tweet and put stuff on Facebook, but if parents aren't reading newsletters and not attending meetings there's not much we can do about it.

When we get Scottish Opera in for their two day workshop, it costs about £1000. Children are not asked to contribute to take part, it's free. Free for all the families whose parents take a turn at helping, free for those who can't be arsed and bitch about PTA at every opportunity. There is not lots of money sloshing about in school funds, without PTA fundraising the school would not be able to offer parallel reading schemes, or buy iPads, or do the Scottish Opera thing.

[budgiegirl]

Maybe that's why they don't do stuff like that at our school, they don't feel the need

Maybe they aren't doing the big, obvious stuff. Maybe the money is going elsewhere - extra books, more play equipment, discounted school trips. Our PTA paid for the buses to the pool when the children had swimming lessons, ice lollies when they went to the pantomime, as well as tablets for each classroom.

Find out, rather than assume the PTA is pointless at your school. You may be right, but I suspect probably not.

[ShrimpieFlintshire]

Haven't RTFT but it's not like this where I live. Large-ish village in commuter belt, and loads of sahms who run every single committee in the style of mean girls. No one else gets a look-in even when they volunteer their time. They organise fundraising events and keep all the tickets for themselves and their friends, essentially turning every event into a private function. They all spend the school run in conspiratorial whispering huddles. It's baffling, infuriating and depressing. Have never lived anywhere like this. Never want to again tbh.

[cherish123]

Strong Mummy - I agree with all your points.

[gamerwidow]

tinfoilhattie off topic but do you know if that rule applies in England. We are being pushed to make our pta a registered charity as our gross income is over £5k but I don't want to do that because the responsibilities that come with bring a trustee of a charity put people off of taking the chair and treasurer roles.

[InformalRoman]

Gamer have you read this?

www.pta.co.uk/running-a-pta/managing-your-pta/faqs-charity-registration-and-governance.aspx

[C8H10N4O2]

i'm longing to know where is this small village with free museums and planetariums, no need for volunteers as its already perfect and which has no poor people

Is it called Celebration by any chance?

[BertrandRussell]

"Newcork....The others are fine too in my area, they aren't charity cases."

[budgiegirl]

The others are fine too in my area, they aren't charity cases

It isn't whether others are 'charity cases', it's to do with providing more than the school budget can afford. I can't imagine there's a single state school in the country that couldn't do with extra books for example.