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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask friend to childproof her house

346 replies

Jakarty · 25/02/2017 05:51

Best friend is 30. Never married, no kids ando lives on her own. Her flat is absolutely gorgeous- beautiful furniture, fancy candles, ornaments, lamps.

Problem: I pop over about once a week (she also comes to mine) with 2.5yo DD. DD naturally goes to pick up items out on display. DF never gets annoyed or tells her off but I can feel her tensing whenever DD touches a candle or ornament and I feel constantly on edge in case she breaks something! Plus there is also the choking hazard which I don't think she has considered. Also she had one of those adult colouring books which DD spotted the other day and wanted to use. Friend said no as it's 'for adults ' and DD had a massive tantrum! She can't understand why a colouring book is not for her.

I was thinking that I could ask her if she can just put all these things away if we are coming over so that a) her things don't get ruined and b) DD is safe and happy and I can relax with my coffee. Is that U? It's only for a few hours once a week.
Friend is lovely in other ways, not usually inconsiderate Confused

OP posts:
SeaLover · 26/02/2017 20:00

I'm afraid you are being unreasonable!
I have not long had my first child, but I have friends with children and a niece and nephew.
Before we'd even considered getting pregnant, there was nothing more annoying than when friends or my sister would be round and said "God you're gonna have to do so much baby proofing here!" We are well aware of that and we were living in the way you do when you don't have children - with ornaments etc as we wanted them as a young (ish) married couple!! Your friend is entitled to have her house in exactly the way she wants it - if it was making her that on edge she would surely put the things away before you get there, maybe it doesn't bother you in the same way!! I understand where you're coming from but that is absolutely her space, you would be unreasonable to even ask, you'll just need to be more on the ball when there, or as all the other comments have said, take your own bag of tricks.

Gooseygoosey12345 · 26/02/2017 20:01

Yabvu!! I have children and ornaments and shock horror an adult colouring book. They know what's theirs to touch and what isn't, in their own home and in other people's! You should be watching her, she's your child so it's you who is being inconsiderate by allowing your dc to play with breakable things in someone else's house

MadMags · 26/02/2017 20:04

READ THE FUCKING THREEEEEAAAAAADDDDD

StarUtopia · 26/02/2017 20:06

^^ Read the thread? Dear god. i'm not reading 11 pages!

YABU. Meet your mate for a coffee in Costa. Problem solved.

Jeez. As if you think it's ok to ask/tell her to change her stuff around!

MadMags · 26/02/2017 20:07

Then don't bloody well comment.

Do you really think nobody has said similar in 11 pages?

mygorgeousmilo · 26/02/2017 20:08

OP has given a nice update on page 7. If you're going to drip shampoo into your eyes, don't be going for any of that no more tears nonsense - full on adult shampoo is the only suitable punishment for you Grin I'm joking! But as pp have said, get a little bag for these sorts of outings. We have the Star Wars bag, and the stuff never really comes out from it, so they then kind of miss the stuff IYSWIM. If I pick up a little figure from a charity shop or something, I'll shove it in there and then when we go to someone's house or on a train journey, it's all quite exciting when they open it again. We have a few crayons and stickers in there too, and sometimes chuck in stuff from crackers or party bags. Thinking back to pre-kid life, I was always as helpful as possible and definitely relaxed with having friends over with kids, but if someone had ever told me to rearrange my crap.... oh my god Shock

MiddleClassProblem · 26/02/2017 20:09

Page 7

MiddleClassProblem · 26/02/2017 20:09

Page 7

MiddleClassProblem · 26/02/2017 20:09

PAGE BLOODY 7

wideboy26 · 26/02/2017 20:10

We have friends with three small children. When they were younger we would child proof our house before they visited, but we would still find them into all sorts of things we overlooked. Their parents looked upon a visit to ours as a few hours rest from parenting duties, which made visits bloody hard work for us, feeding them all, making them drinks AND watching their flipping children. The friendship has cooled somewhat and when we get together these days it's either at their house or a neutral venue such as a pub or picnic park.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 26/02/2017 20:12

^ Read the thread? Dear god. i'm not reading 11 pages!

YABU. Meet your mate for a coffee in Costa. Problem solved.

Jeez. As if you think it's ok to ask/tell her to change her stuff around!^

If you read the thread, Star, you'd see that the problem was solved several posts ago. You're a bit out of date.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 26/02/2017 20:14

And if you can't RTFT, at least read the OP's posts FFS.

My best PFB moment was refusing to ride in a lift without DD. What if she got stuck in the lift with PIL? What if I got stuck in it without her? Oh the angst!

MiddleClassProblem · 26/02/2017 20:15

If people change their settings so it highlights OP posts in threads then you don't have to read all 11 pages but get the gist from OP response or in this case see that it has been RESOLVED.

It does make life easier.

yikesanotherbooboo · 26/02/2017 20:17

??
Why is your daughter allowed to touch everything?

Majorgoodwinschickenbeatstrump · 26/02/2017 20:18

Middle class problem- is this a thing? How do you do that please? Smilethank you!

Needabreakfrommybrain · 26/02/2017 20:20

can I ask what a reverse is please? I know this isn't one and I've read the thread but can't find an answer (sorry if I've missed it!)

PurpleDaisies · 26/02/2017 20:22

need it's where a poster reverses the situation and posts from the opposite point of view, for example if this were a reverse the op actually would be pissed off at a friend asking them to childproof their house and would have been hoping everyone would say she was being unreasonable. I hope that makes sense.

Needabreakfrommybrain · 26/02/2017 20:25

Thanks - that makes sense! I get it now.

EskSmith · 26/02/2017 20:26

Desperatedad, what a thoroughly horrid post.

MiddleClassProblem · 26/02/2017 20:26

If on mobile scroll to the bottom and tap desktop site

So where it says talk on this page or talk -aibu? Click the down arrow next to it/same line as it.

Then go to customise. In there it has the options to change your post colours and OPs. Pick the colours you want and save. Good to go!

Reverse is when someone posts pretending to be the other person in there situation e.g. I just caught DH spooning the dog! What do I do? When actually I was spooning the dog and DH caught me. Often you can spot them when people really over praise the other person in the story and say the shitty things they did flippantly to make them sound more evil and the real them more innocent iyswim

MiddleClassProblem · 26/02/2017 20:28

EskSmith yes it seems extreme and not a genuine post so I reported it

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 26/02/2017 20:38

Esk and Middle, I sincerely hope he is a troll. I find it quite disturbing that he's thought in that level of detail about how he'd physically punish a very small child Sad

MiddleClassProblem · 26/02/2017 20:43

Me too

MiddleClassProblem · 26/02/2017 20:44

part of me felt it wasn't a he and just someone attempting to paint men in a bad light

EskSmith · 26/02/2017 20:53

You're both right, I couldn't believe no one was calling the poster on it but report and ignore is more effective (hopefully).

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