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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My baby is 9 weeks old and I'm pregnant again

297 replies

giraffewithalongneck · 22/02/2017 17:36

Oh hell. My baby is 9 weeks old. We've had sex twice since she was born. Past 3 days I've had every symptom of pregnancy but thought there is no chance. I had a preg test in my bathroom cupboard so thought I'd do it just to ease my mind. Low and behold I'm pregnant.

I am in complete shock. It took us 3 years and fertility treatment to get our baby so this is a huge huge huge surprise.

Please tell me it'll be ok.

OP posts:
Catlady1976 · 22/02/2017 21:04

I think you will probably find that Irish living in Ireland aren't bothered and may even use it themselves.
If however you or your descendents lived through the discriminatory period with " No black no Irish. No dogs" signs in guest houses etc than your tolerance May be lower.
I myself moved to England as a baby. Married and Englishman but even my MIL once used the phrase "that's a bit Irish" and it wasn't in a complimentary way.
So you will find mixed opinion based on individual experience.

Original poster
giraffewithalongneck · 22/02/2017 21:05

Oh god it's just occurred to me... what if I have twins??????

OP posts:
OneWithTheForce · 22/02/2017 21:05

I'd love to know the % of those finding it offensive who are actually Irish.

Why? What percentage is enough for you to accept it is offensive? I'd love to know.

Catlady1976 · 22/02/2017 21:08

A quick Google indicates it is offensive.

Wotrewelookinat · 22/02/2017 21:11

Congratulations OP!! There is 1 year and 4 days between my eldest and my twins!! It was hard for the first 6 months, and it's all a bit of a blur, but they're 12, 12 and 13 now and it's fine!
Good luck with your pregnancy xx

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 22/02/2017 21:12

Oh god it's just occurred to me... what if I have twins??????

You'll cope Grin. Twins are hard work, but they're wonderful.

I once met a lady who had 3 kids, then had 3 sets of twins, was pregnant with number 10, and she was only 29 years old. Imagine coping with that Shock. Actually, come to think of it lol, where did they even find time (or energy) to make more babies Confused.

Rogue187 · 22/02/2017 21:14

Congratulations Flowers

Try not to panic.

I conceived when DD was 11 weeks old. I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant.
I was quite worried at first but now I'm super excited.
The only thing that has put a downer on the whole thing is other people's opinions.
Whatever you decide to do needs to be right for your family. I'm sure it will be hard at times but in my case I think totally worth it Smile.

goingmadinthecountry · 22/02/2017 21:19

Dd2 and ds are 11 months apart - they were so funny together. In fact my older 3 were all under 3 for a month and a half. I absolutely loved it, even though dh was working abroad at the time! They were a fantastic little bundle of madness. OK, I was totally shattered from time to time, but it was absolutely brilliant. I'm an only child and my mum was mortified. They are now 23, 21 and 20. Still love them to bits even though I never seem to see them these days. They have an adoring 13yo sister.

Congratulations!

1bighappyfamily · 22/02/2017 21:19

Congrats OP! Two close together is hard but gets easier quickly and I wouldn't have it any way else now.

(Am Irish and don't think Irish twins is in the least bit offensive)

thefirstpenguin · 22/02/2017 21:22

Congrats op. My first 2 are 14 months apart, they are 14 and 13 now and still close. I remember the shock though!

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/02/2017 21:26

I had DD3 and then a year almost to the day later I had DS2, that was a surprise! You'll cope fine, mine are 11 and 12 and I wouldnt have it any other way :)

happymumof4crazykids · 22/02/2017 21:28

I found out I was pregnant with dc4 when dc3 was 12 weeks old they are now 2 and 3 very close and play lovely together! I'm not going to lie it was very hard work but so worth it now!

Nannplum666 · 22/02/2017 21:28

Ours are adopted but 9 months apart as our youngest is a good few weeks prem. It has its moments ! Sometimes it is super hard as one learns mischief of the other very quickly but it's also amazing as they have a very tight bond and look out for each other and help one another. They also play well together and toys for one get shared quite easily.
Money wise it can be tight with double nappies, clothes etc and nursery fees don't help.
That said they are amazing and I am sure they will grow up well together.
Good luck and best wishes

PunjanaTea · 22/02/2017 21:30

I have a 16 month gap and met an old lady once who had twins and then had another two children with a similar gap who told me she found the small gap siblings harder work than the twins Wink

Pinkheart5915 · 22/02/2017 21:30

Mine are 11 months apart. DS is now 17 months, baby dd is 6 months!

We started trying for number 2 pretty much as soon as we could, I wouldn't change having them close together for all the tea in china. For me it hasn't been as hard as people would of had me believe when we announced pregnancy number 2, think they was trying to scare me tbh Hmm

DS is just lovely with dd, he goes in to find her every morning when he gets up, he sits and shares his food with her and today when they had tv on he cuddled her on her playmat- It melts your heart.

Yes sometimes it's tough but let's face it being a parent regardless of how many children or how close together they are you have it tough sometimes.

You will be fine lovely, and many congratulations to you 💐

Flowerydems · 22/02/2017 21:34

I have Irish twins, I don't find it offensive, I can't believe the comment that said it has been reported and the woman that told you to get an abortion hasn't.

Congratulations as it goes. 13 months between mine but cause of the late and early birthdays in the year they'll only be a year apart at school, you'll be fine. They're good friends for each other in the end

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 22/02/2017 21:38

Many congratulations 💐

My best friend and her sister are 11 months apart, they have a real closeness it's lovely

StarUtopia · 22/02/2017 21:41

A year between my two. Bloody hard work not going to lie.

And I was waiting for some smug twins mum to come on and post that small age gaps are so much easier than twins blah blah because obviously nothing can be harder than twins, can it?

Well. I have to say, I've only heard the 'twins is hard' line from mums who only have twins - i.e. first time mums. And let's be honest. All of us who have popped more than one out do look back rather embarrassed thinking why the hell did we find it so hard. One baby is easy. But not when it's your only experience of being a mum. If you've only had twins, and just the one pregnancy, how on earth can you comment?

I have a friend who had two children with a year between them and then 6 years later had twins. She categorically states that the twins were a 'walk in the fucking park' in comparison (her words not mine) as they were both the same age, both at the same developmental level etc. They could both do playdoh or they could both go on the big slides at the playcentre. A year apart is bloody hard because they're both small but a year at that age is enormous in terms of what they can do.

But do you know what really winds me up? The need to compete. Jesus. You had twins. Hard work yes. Do you really have to post to let this OP know that it can't possibly be as hard for her as having twins? Precious, beyond belief. The worst bit of having a small age gap? Dickheads saying, it could be worse, it could have been twins! No. This is worse than twins as you don't get the playgroup offers, or the sympathy or the cute factor. (although now mine are 3 and 4 and the same size I usually just go yeah they're twins to shut people up)

Having kids is hard work. Full stop.

OP. Congrats.

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 22/02/2017 21:41

I can't believe the same people are now engaging in an argument about Irish Twins. If you want to debate that please go the actual more appropriate thread about it from a couple of days ago.

The OP wants to talk about her feelings and concerns. She said straight off she found the term offensive which is what matters in this thread so please please respect that.

Ta

ILikeyourHairyHands · 22/02/2017 22:17

If you want this baby, you will be fine, more than fine, you'll be marvellous (after a bit), there are 11 months between me and my sister, 14 months between my DS and DD, it's ok, it will be ok.

Conversely, if you don't want this baby that will be absolutely fine too. I had a later termination after my two DCs because that was right too.

Anything you choose, as long as you're happy with the decision, it will be ok.

It will.

chatnanny · 22/02/2017 22:27

I had a similar situation when one of mine was a few weeks old. I was feeling sick and got a positive test but when the GP retested I wasn't pregnant. He thought some sort of hormonal blip had caused the nausea and false positive. If you're pregnant though, congratulations!

MumW · 22/02/2017 22:31

At least they will fall into 2 different school years. There was a brother and sister who were the youngest and oldest in my school year. It was a nightmare for the parents having 2 sets of new school uniform at the same time, funding 2 to go on school trips at the same time etc.

Twice in 9 weeks? Think I was probably struggling to make it twice in 9 months. Confused

Anyway, congratulations, you'll manage just fine.

Welshmamma · 22/02/2017 22:37

Ten months between me and my brother and we grew up best friends! My mam said it was tricky at times but looking back she got all the stages done together pretty much and wasn't starting over a few years later x Huge congratulations to you! It's meant to be! 😊

NewDOOFUSfor17 · 22/02/2017 22:55

A quick Google indicates it is offensive.

A quick Google will also tell you you have a serious illness when it's a common cold.

WanderingTrolley1 · 23/02/2017 08:06

Is it good or bad news, OP?

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