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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Don't even know if I'm asking AIBU - I don't know what to think! Postman!

208 replies

strawberrisc · 21/02/2017 13:59

I work in education so I am off work at the moment - along with my 13 year old daughter as it's half-term.

We've already been out for the last few days and so we're having a lazy day today before going out tomorrow. Despite stocking up she fancied a sandwhich with the one filling I don't have and I fancied a walk - albeit a 5 minute one. The shop is literally a 5 minute walk from our cul-de-sac.

I didn't lock the door because a) you can't break wind in this road without everyone knowing b) both sets of neighbours are in and b) I worry about locking the door and there being a fire.

I was gone less then 15 minutes. When I came back my daughter shouted, as I came in 'is that you? Someone opened the door and came in'. When I looked the postman had left a parcel in my hallway.

I don't know what to think for a number of reasons.

He's a decent guy and we've chatted on several occasions. He's been on this route for years.

But also: when I'm in work his collegue leaves one of those awful cards where I have to go all the way to the sorting office. However, this postman always leaves parcels in my lean-to between the wheelie bins. Why on earth would today be any different? It's a quite close so why would he even try the door and not leave the parcel in the usual place?

OP posts:
1AnnoyingOrange · 21/02/2017 14:01

Is your car in the drive? Would it normally be gone? Maybe he thought you were in house knocked but couldnt hear him so just put it inside door?

SundialShadow · 21/02/2017 14:03

Ask him tomorrow why he tried the door. It may be perfectly innocent like he saw you going out and not locking the door so decided to do you a favour.

Purplehonesty · 21/02/2017 14:04

That's totally normal here. Postie always tries the door and puts parcel in the kitchen
If we are out and it's locked she puts it round the back and leaves a card.

NavyandWhite · 21/02/2017 14:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
strawberrisc · 21/02/2017 14:05

I don't drive so there's never a car in the drive! I could ask him tomorrow but I don't want to come across as being confrontational if he was just being kind! I just don't understand why he didn't leave it where he usually does.

OP posts:
Saucery · 21/02/2017 14:05

He probably always trys the door and today it was unlocked.

Apfelbunny · 21/02/2017 14:06

I'm still trying to get around why the door wasn't locked when you had your daughter at home (if you're worried about fire, tell her where the key is to get out or take her with you)

But yeah, bit weird for the postman to try the door if he's never tried the door before, maybe he was just being helpful or maybe the door wasn't shut fully and he left it inside

Good thing it was a postman and not an opportunist who saw you hadn't kicked up and were alone and knew daughter was home alone in an un locked house

BewtySkoolDropowt · 21/02/2017 14:06

My postie always pops stuff in the hall if the door is open. Much handier than having to check elsewhere in case anything has been delivered.

Don't see a problem.

Stickerrocks · 21/02/2017 14:07

If you see him tomorrow, tell him that he scared the living daylights out of your daughter by dropping the parcel in the hall & tell him where you would like parcels to be left in the future. Sorted.

SummerHouse · 21/02/2017 14:07

Postman delivers a parcel. I can't get too excited about that.

Unless its chocolate perhaps...

AQuietMind · 21/02/2017 14:07

Quite normal where I am, If I'm in and not heard the door or in the garden the posiet will pop the parcel in my hall or kitchen.

LouLouLoveHeart · 21/02/2017 14:07

It was unprofessional and not OK for him to help himself to your front door. Hopefully he was just being helpful and not thinking.

That must have been really scary for your DD. Perhaps mention it to him so he doesn't make the same mistake.

But you should have locked the door. There's no reason a locked door should be dangerous. Your DD could have locked it and kept the key in the door. Presumably at 13 she's capable of using a key?

Original poster
strawberrisc · 21/02/2017 14:09

I sort of understand the 'unlocked door' comments but it's sad that I grew up in an age where we played out all day and nobody thought our parents were neglectful. My dd didn't have this childhood - despite the fact there is statistically no higher rise in crime now then there was then. I don't feel guilty for not locking my 13 year old in a house for 15 minutes but that's just my opinion.

OP posts:
PuntCuffin · 21/02/2017 14:11

Could he have knocked to see if you were in, but the knock pushed the door open? Depends if you left it on the latch or not. My front door is regularly on the latch if I am in due to ongoing building work so I don't have to open up each time they come kne. So if someone knocks, it swings open.

NavyandWhite · 21/02/2017 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
strawberrisc · 21/02/2017 14:17

NavyandWhite - my daughter also has to get a school bus to an out of area school each day. Plus, she has started going to town with her friends in the school holidays. Should I put a stop to this to as it also comes loaded with risk.

OP posts:
Bantanddec · 21/02/2017 14:17

Unless he's robbed you, I would let it go. If your plan is to get him in trouble you're going to struggle as you've openly admitted to not securing your property.

RandomDent · 21/02/2017 14:17

Was she frightened? My postie always tries the door. We do have a little vestibule though.

acornsandnuts · 21/02/2017 14:18

Would it have upset you so much if you had also been in the house? If not YABU. The postman had no clue who was or wasn't in the house.

Our postie does this and I'm always grateful I don't have to track to the sorting office.

If you don't want it to happen lock your door, simple.

JustSpeakSense · 21/02/2017 14:18

Always lock her in when she's alone, leave a key for her if she needs to get out.

He probably tries the door as it's usually locked, but today it was open.

LouLouLoveHeart · 21/02/2017 14:18

You don't need to feel guilty about locking her in. But it's a bit silly to then be surprised when she gets frightened because someone opened the door when she was in on her own.

I live in a very quiet rural village and always keep my door locked.

NavyandWhite · 21/02/2017 14:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LouLouLoveHeart · 21/02/2017 14:19

not locking her in

xStefx · 21/02/2017 14:20

I would also lock the door if I was leaving a child in the house alone, lesson learnt OP . Thank goodness it was only the postman.

BonnyScotland · 21/02/2017 14:22

would you prefer he left a card and you trek all the way to the Collections Office ?

the guy was doing you a favour....