Don't even know if I'm asking AIBU - I don't know what to think! Postman!

[strawberrisc]

I work in education so I am off work at the moment - along with my 13 year old daughter as it's half-term.

We've already been out for the last few days and so we're having a lazy day today before going out tomorrow. Despite stocking up she fancied a sandwhich with the one filling I don't have and I fancied a walk - albeit a 5 minute one. The shop is literally a 5 minute walk from our cul-de-sac.

I didn't lock the door because a) you can't break wind in this road without everyone knowing b) both sets of neighbours are in and b) I worry about locking the door and there being a fire.

I was gone less then 15 minutes. When I came back my daughter shouted, as I came in 'is that you? Someone opened the door and came in'. When I looked the postman had left a parcel in my hallway.

I don't know what to think for a number of reasons.

He's a decent guy and we've chatted on several occasions. He's been on this route for years.

But also: when I'm in work his collegue leaves one of those awful cards where I have to go all the way to the sorting office. However, this postman always leaves parcels in my lean-to between the wheelie bins. Why on earth would today be any different? It's a quite close so why would he even try the door and not leave the parcel in the usual place?

*NavyandWhite Tue 21-Feb-17 18:23:00

OP if how would you feel if a burglar had tried the door whilst you were out and your DD was alone in an unlocked house?

Can you answer me that? You ignored me before when I asked similar.*

Sorry I missed this post and your insistance to answer it. How is one meant to answer it? I'd be THRILLED if a burglar invaded my home in the 15 minutes I wasn't in it.

Why don't you just ask your neighbours what happened?

NavyandWhite - if you live your life perpetual fear you'll tie yourself in knots. I moved to London just after 9/11. I fly all over the world without a moment's hesitation. I honsetly and truly believe (and I swear I'm not being facetious) if a burglar or random sex offender were to break into my house in the 15 minutes that I was out at the shop then that would be a million to one chance. I don't want my daughter to live in fear either. I want her to be able to defend herself but not live like every moment might be her last.

It's not living in fear, it's being sensible. If your daughter wasn't at home I assume you would have locked the door when you went out?

Anyway I'm not banging my head against a brick wall any more. Like I say, just ask your neighbours, as you said in OP it was safe to leave it unlocked because nothing would get past them, so they'll be able to tell you exactly what happened.

Pigflewpast I think the chances of her needing to get out of the house in a hurry outweight that of someone trying to get in.

I agree Pigflewpast. You and I trying to agree is like trying to nail jelly to the ceiling.

Really? I can only think of fire? No idea about statistics but I can think of many break ins in our area and 1 fire in the 10 yrs we've lived here.

I thought you weren't banging your head against the wall anymore?

Just answering your post as it was addressed to me, and honestly shocked you think that.

Putting the bolt across when you're in an unlocked house is not living in fear, op. You're taking great pains to demonstrate how fearless you are (flying all around the world?) as if this also demonstrates why normal preventative measures are beneath such a free spirit.
It's possible to not live your life quaking at imagined dangers whilst still taking sensible precautions, you know

Flogging, maybe when I say I went to the Berlin market the week after the attack she might start listening to me!

I don't know anyone who leaves their door unlocked, itsmine. Maybe we just live in different parts of the world? And when I say bolt; I just mean for those strange doors that can be opened from outside unless actually locked with a key which I'd never actually heard of
I don't actually barricade myself indoors...

I don't know anyone who has their door locked during the day, apart from one friend who has young kids prone to do runners! When mine were that age we too locked the door. Other than that it is on the latch and flicked off the latch when going to bed or out.

I thought it was an insurance requirement to have a door with a lock that snecks on when you close it?

Leaving your door unlocked is not synonymous with not living in fear.
Ffs, itsmine!! Very few of us quivering door lockers don't "travel".

I wonder if it'a new 'thing' posties are being asked to do - leave parcels etc as securely as possible rather than behind bins etc

My very lovely postman caught up with me when i was out one day last week and asked if it was ok for him to from now on put post through inner door letter box not outer (have a porch) Sounded like it was something he was now required to do and as i usually leave outer door unlocked anyway, it's no problem.

Maybe your postie just tried door on thr off chance in hope of putting your parcel inside without having to disturb you or leave a card?

And when a burglar / rapist / mad axeman, take your pick, enters your home uninvited; he's wrong too. Cold comfort, though.

It'smine I was actually taking the piss out of equating moving to London after a terror attack in New York with not locking a door. I don't live in fear I just take note of the many many police adverts about opportunist break ins, and have what I think is common sense, but is obviously not the way many other people think.