To travel somewhere alone, sans husband and children?

[4ggggggggggggggggggggggggggyyy]

Husband thinks I have lost the plot but that's nothing new. Anyway.

I have a particular reason for wanting to go to this part of the world, it's really important to me for all sorts of reasons but one very personal and pertinent one. Hence why I really don't want to go with two pre-schoolers crying and whining and demanding.

Since we have no one else to have them (and I wouldn't ask anyway) I still want to go. I have looked at flights on EasyJet and would go for four days in June. I've suggested husband takes some leave and I go. I regularly do this when husband does a long day: in theory it's a twelve hour shift, in practice it's more like thirteen plus travel time.

Husband is Not Happy.

AIBU to say tough, I need to do this, and book a temporary nanny to help him? Or have I lost the plot as he claims?

Clearly, it means "without husband and children."

Clearly, it means "without husband and children."

Well I clearly didn't know that or I clearly wouldn't have asked would I?

Clearly.

Why not say 'without' instead of 'sans?!' This is not a French board.

Why stick one French word in the middle of an English sentence?!

Are you this condescending with your husband?!

It's quite a common thing to do, you see it loads in magazines.

People talk about 'decamping to the beach en familie' or 'being en route' somewhere.

I don't know why people do it, but seeing as we all did French at school, it's not like it makes the meaning of the thread unintelligible.

I think he is being th selfish one. Just because he doesn't want to go away without you doesn't mean you have to be the same.

I've been away to Australia three times in last four years without dh and DS. Last time for almost four weeks! They don't want to go but I do so I go.

Could it be a wobble about you flying alone, risks of travelling etc? I think you should go for sure, I'm just wondering about what other concerns there may be.

It's quite a common thing to do, you see it loads in magazines. People talk about 'decamping to the beach en familie' or 'being en route' somewhere. I don't know why people do it, but seeing as we all did French at school, it's not like it makes the meaning of the thread unintelligible.

Well I have never seen it before. shrugs

And I didn't say it did make the the thread unintelligible, I just didn't know what it meant, or why the word SANS was in the middle of an English sentence. And the sarcastic 'CLEARLY this is what it meant' attitude is just bloody rude and unnecessary. No wonder her DH is pissed off if the OP has an attitude like this towards him!

Would he be okay with you going if it was a hen do or similar?

Depends who's hen do it was.

He is not being very fair. The part where he doesn't want to take care of his own children is ridiculous. My dh and I are just waiting on opportunity , finances and how much I need time alone for me to go away for a weekend on my own. Is he good with parenting generally? It doesn't sound like it.

I go away every year for 4 days (not alone as I go with girlfriends but still...) and just tell DH which days he needs to book off and that's the end of the discussion. I think it's bloody ridiculous that you can't go away independently if you so wish or the idea that a father isn't capable of looking after his own children for a few days. I'd present it as a fait accompli and tell him to book the time off & suck it up

He can look after the children, but does consider it peculiar that I'd want to go away alone.

That's understandable if it's not something he would ever consider, but you are happy to go alone so he doesn't need to worry about it. Honestly, I'd crack on and enjoy yourself leave him to worry about what a strange thing you're doing

"Depends who's hen do it was."

Why?

I'm sure you have friends your husband isn't so keen on.

The thought of Bert's reaction if her DP wasn't 'keen' enough on a friend to 'let her go' on a hen party just made me snigger.

Of course. But only a controlling arse would stop his wife going to a friend's hen do because he didn't like the friend. You're not a controlling arse, are you?

It's not just about not liking the friend, in this case, there's a little more to it.

I'm not sure if I'm talking to OP or her husband here... but either way, no, my DH would never stop me going on a hen party. And if his reason for not wanting me to go was not being keen on one of my friends I would worry that he was displaying controlling tendencies. There are lots of people on hen parties and not all of them I'd have similar values as, but that shouldn't stop me attending and having fun.

Do it. He is a parent same as you and should be ABLE to look after the children on his own.

He is lazy and cant be bothered to look after the children without you.

You are a wife and mother yes but you are your own person as well and if this is important to you, do it.

But anyway, this isn't about a hen do. It's about an adult woman doing something alone that involves her husband looking after his own children for 4 days. The same applies. Any man who wasn't a
controlling arse would be fine with that.

Do it! My hubby and I have the odd weekend away with our friends. I'm off on a girls weekend in 4 weeks. Kids staying at home with him then he's going on a weekend trip later in the year with his friends. We don't do it often but we both appreciate a break and come back appreciating each other more. Also it's nice for the kids to have just daddy or just mummy time and we make those weekends fun. Enjoy.

I think you should definitely go and ignore his sulks. You are allowed to do something for yourself that doesn't involve him, and he should support that. This is not just a trip because you want to get away from him, it is important to you. I actually can't understand how he can justify his own selfish attitude to himself - unless he is an selfish arse in general.

Go on the four day trip. Four days is nothing. Tell your husband that he should try thinking about your needs not just what suits him.

Is anyone else finding this thread a little sinister?

I agree Bertrand I think he's taken over the laptop.