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AIBU?

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Original poster

Birthday party one

229 replies

puppysurprise · 16/02/2017 05:07

So my LO is 4 this month. Party booked and invites all gone out. I've gotten several rsvps saying thanks for invite - - - would love to attend thank you. With the invited child and both parents names! Really?! Both parents? It's a children's party why on earth would both parents attend? It's limited spaces at the venue and I don't know what to do if it's full of mainly adults?

I just don't understand why you'd both want to go is it just me is this really odd? Surely a free Saturday afternoon to sleep / work / watch tv that's not CBeebies is welcome?

It's 15 kids 28 adults right now. Grandparents also invited.

OP posts:
JenniferYellowHat1980 · 18/02/2017 10:24

We never both go but DD had a messy poo the first time I left her at a party while I popped out for a few mins age 5 Blush therefore I'll be staying with DS for his reception year parties.

WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn · 18/02/2017 10:28

Depends on the group of people. Post natal group then we all go as we are all friends. School friends we haven't both gone yet but happily would if it was on the way to/from somewhere else we wanted to go.

embo1 · 18/02/2017 10:31

Parties have only been soft play here so far, if it was the zoo etc., yes, it would be different, would not expect the host to pay for adults. We wouldn't both go to a party at a house unless it was family or friends of ours.
It's probably best to put a little note on the invitation though. They can choose to accept or decline.

Dahlietta · 18/02/2017 10:38

What a weird thing to be bitchy about!

Astro55 · 18/02/2017 11:33

Sometimes it's comforting to the child knowing Mummy and Daddy are nearby

This sa A more about the parents than the child

Natstar98 · 18/02/2017 12:36

Why would that say more about the parents? So a shy child or a child with a disorder that makes parties a little stressful would be the product of a 'clingy' parent? All I am saying is there could be many unknown reasons two parents choose to chaperone their child. Some might just find it nice to go as a team (how unthinkable Shock)

Nicpem1982 · 18/02/2017 12:58

Embo- we have a party at the zoo booked and will pay for adults and siblings as after the party families are welcome to stay for the remainder of the day.

We've asked parents to confirm numbers just before party but the people who have responded have confirmed it will be 2:1 ratio

cherish123 · 18/02/2017 14:21

At 4, normal for one parent to attend. Not usual for 2 parents unless you know them well. After 5, parents don't tend to stay unless supervision required. Having said that, my child went to a Virgin Active party when he was 4 and parents (other than those of the host child) were not allowed due to a lack of space.

Chelazla · 18/02/2017 14:34

My kids would happily let us leave but I've never know anyone their age, 3 and 4 where parents don't stay. Me and dh fight about who has to take them!!! If we both go it's because misery loves companyGrinGrin

Chelazla · 18/02/2017 14:39

With my kids parties I don't care who stays goes etc. If siblings have turned up we've just included them in the party. They're only kids. The last party my dd went to at soft play ds had to go as I was at work and dh took both. My dh was paying and the hosts wouldn't let him, insisted he be part of party, games bags and all. It was really appreciated and a really kind thing to to.

TinselTwins · 18/02/2017 16:09

This is a relatively new thing it's not in most cultures (and I'm not talking about totally different cultures to England, I'm talking even in other parts of the UK)
For most people kids birthdays were always multigenerational extended family events which were opened up to neighbours and friends of all ages - kids run about and adults socialise.

It's nice to have a sense of community, I'm not into this "drop your child at the door I don't need to know you" business.

TinselTwins · 18/02/2017 16:12

It's just weird to me that people would want to sit there staring at their children playing!

It's just weird to not understand that parents enjoy seeing their kids enjoy themselves with their friends Confused

mumof3boys33 · 18/02/2017 16:40

It's nice in a way. My OH has no interest in kids parties. Wouldn't come along with us. He is very reluctant to even join his own kids parties!! He always makes sure he's too busy on the farm to come indoors for our parties. He'll come in for the food though 😂

hifi · 18/02/2017 17:09

its an invitation for the child, not a fucking family day out.
there to suppoert on and other? WTF?

FoodieToo · 18/02/2017 19:47

I must live in some kind of parallel universe !! We used to fight over who HAD to go to the party with whichever child it was.
Surely if you are busy all week the last thing you'd want is to sit in a hall full of screaming kids ??!!
How is that 'family time'?
Pins in my eyes etc !!!

bumsexatthebingo · 18/02/2017 20:04

I don't think most people are suggesting that the actual party counts as family time (although I know couples who work shifts that would probably not consider sitting and drinking coffee for a couple of hours together a chore as they hardly see each other) more that people are likely to be doing activities a a family before or after so it is more convenient to go together.
To the people who have said 'if you want family time then decline the invitation'. I find that weird. I would much rather my kids friends attended their parties with 1 or 2 parents than not at all. And as their parties are mainly in public places - soft play, bowling etc then I wouldn't really expect to have any say over who attends with the child.

Maireadplastic · 18/02/2017 20:07

Hifi- I'm trying to be balanced and open-minded but I am totally with you. I have left mine at parties since they were 3- admittedly, I always knew the parents and I have three confident, happy boys.

Anytime we didn't know the parents or weren't sure of the situation, a few of us who knew each other well would organise for one or two parents to take the group of children and stay if needed be.

bulletjournal · 18/02/2017 20:11

It's not quite the same thing when your friends organise a party for the children, and when your kid gets an invitation from someone you have never met in your life.

Astro55 · 18/02/2017 21:43

It really makes me wonder if 'family time' is the new 'me time'

That and what do single parents do?

Do they bravely go together? Do they send one depending on who's access time it is? Do mums go on their time, but dads don't? (Which is very common!) Is family time so precious that you must attend a noisy kids party talking to other parents while junior toddles off to play with his mates?
Is it more important to watch junior eat his sandwich Before his biscuit?

Strange

Yukbuck · 18/02/2017 22:03

I haven't read the full thread but I saw on one of the earlier pages someone said 'haven't they got better things to be doing?' Well yes, they probably do have better things to be doing, like spending time as a family. But instead they are attending a weekend party (which is great because I'm sure the child wants to attend) but if you're going to do a party on a weekend then I don't think you can really complain about 2 parents turning up. They could be on their way to somewhere (since parties are usually 1-2 hours) depending how far they live from the venue it may seem pointless driving back on themselves.

Natstar98 · 18/02/2017 22:09

I was a single mum for 6 years and had no issue going to parties on my own. I have been with my OH for a few years now and we have a 9 month old (his 1st child). We do as much as we can together with all the children and he wants to be as hands on as possible so why should either of us miss out on our daughters fun times? We wouldn't go to a house party together but if it was a public place then I see no problem with spending time together while our daughter played with her friends nearby.

Mrsleighdelamare · 18/02/2017 23:08

Mairead, that's what we did when the kids were younger, one or two of us would stay. Usually not me I hasten to add. The noise....

And as for family time, well, to me it is not best spent at a kids' birthday party. Maybe if it's your own child's party. Possibly. But even those are at best tolerable Wink.

TinselTwins · 18/02/2017 23:38

Lol, posters love to take PPs points then run with them to extreme exaggerations

Nobody said that is is their chosen way to spend family time, it's not like posters are sitting there talking to their partner about how they need more family time so will need to seek out kids birthday parties to go to together…..

what we said about spending time together is that if a kids party clashes with the only time we have off together then we'ld rather go together than not see each other just to keep MN land happy!

gemgemgemgemgem · 19/02/2017 19:59

Don't families want to do things together at weekends no matter what it is?! Yabu

Chamonix1 · 19/02/2017 20:18

Just had my 4 year olds birthday party.
80% of children came with 2 parents.
I had 1 dad who helped wash up,
2 mums that carried the food to the tables for the kids and the plates etc back to wash up after.
1 dad who helped with musical statues and another mum who made teas and coffees for other parents. Thank god they bought their significant others.

Reading through that sounds like I didn't do much but I swear I did. Grin

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