To be shocked at 7 year olds behaviour?

[Pollyanna12345]

DS just turned 7 last month.
Quite a loud extrovert personality but up to now had no issues with his behaviour aside from not being able to sit still for long so visits to restaurants and so on were always quite tricky.
We are more positive parents than anything else although don't like to label but have always done all we can to suit their needs ( DS2 is 4 and completely different character )
so have left restaurants and places where he can't seem to behave well in many a time
The last few weeks have been hard
School still seems fine and only just had PE and nothing mentioned other than lacks concentration at times and is quite fearless of danger but generally only does things he knows he's capable of so not really a concern but he just doesn't seem to listen to much we say and has an answer for absolutely everything
He argues back like an adult not a child and is extremely logical but not very emotional
A few examples are :
Throwing a massive rock in a farm as he was insistent it was not a rock, just a soft mass of mud so when it exploded it wouldn't break into pieces, it would just fall apart so I didn't need to worry it would smash anything
Spelling out things to his brother like " shut up " phonetically when he gets annoyed and when told off says he shouldn't be told off as his brother can't understand what he's saying
Ran past a door and accidentally shut his dad's finger in it and when explained he should apologise as although accidental he shouldn't have been running through the hallway - that was his dad's fault for coming out of the toilet at that specific moment in time
He also blames anyone and everyone for things that go wrong, so if he falls over someone distracted him for instance and takes no responsibility for his actions
He has a big personality and we've always been careful to embrace it but I wonder now if the respect is actually lacking because of that!
Anyone else with a " spirited " child like mine??

I agree with you, people's reactions seem to be very strong in response to things I didn't think were that terrible
I have ignored people seeming just very nasty towards my little boy on this thread but have taken on board over explaining everything may not work for his personality type

It just sounds like overexcited silliness to me and certainly not shocking. My 8 year old ds is like this sometimes. I forgot have to constantly remind him, lay down expectat ions, have things to occupy him (pens, books, wordsearch) and make sure I don't go anywhere with slow service and perhaps offer a bribe If good. He is getting better but it's been slow.

Fwiw I think you're mostly on the right track. You either have a child like that or you don't and it's easy to criticise if you have a child that just sits.

And I think a lot of its down to luck rather than parenting the. Some take too much credit for themselves when their child is good anyway regardless to what they do

polly I think it is because a couple of things you have said about his behaviour have really resonated with people whose DCs have SN...especially brighter DCs. If they don't misbehave at school, cause trouble, they can and often are missed.
It doesn't mean that your DS has SN but don't dismiss it out of hand...
It is your DC1 -so you don't have a comparison. I think most people find having DC a bit of a shock /harder work than they expected - so you tend to think it is normal. (Your DC2 -like mine- is completely different...but then we do all have different personalities...)

I said I have just been diagnosed with ADHD as an adult - a while ago I got flamed on a thread on MN about being late - I posted that I lose track of time...it soon became clear that what I thought of as 'losing track of time' was completely different to most peoples idea of what that means...my normal wasn't everyone else's normal ...it was a real eye opener.