AIBU in thinking this is not racist?

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

At a baby group, and one of the mothers starts commenting on a father who is there, mentioning how she wouldn't say no etc. Then asked what we think
One friend turned round and said no he isn't my cup of tea.
Original lady asked why
She responded she normally prefers white men, not black men.
Original lady tells her she should be disgusted in herself and having a view like that is highly racist. She then asked me do I agree if she was racist in what she said.

I told her I wouldn't view this as racist, just personal preference.
Is this actually racist? Or is original lady just being a bit over the top.

Its a preference. Quite a bold statement really considering that everyone is sooo sensitive now. So certain topics like gender, race politics or religion, or breastfeeding (or not) choice should be better kept to yourself. Otherwise someone will definitely be offended.

I personlally also fancy white men generally. But not ginger, is that racist against red heads??

Snowwhite you can absolutely fancy who you want.

Thinking of redheads, why are they not a protected group? Not to do with dating but to do with anything else?

If you can"t see why they would need it, maybe reading this article could help.

dorothydalton.com/2013/08/06/do-redheads-need-to-be-a-protected-minority/

Navy the genes that determine skin colour are not that different to the genes that determine Wye or hair colour, are they?

I wonder if red heads do share some common ethnicity.

I am not, as it happens, arguing that red heads are a 'race' but are worthy of protection just as are any other marginalised or discriminated against group.

Did you read the article? Almost 90% of people agree with me.

"almond pudding I think it's important to be aware of how your behaviour and thoughts are shaped by societal biases. Like if I was doing a job interview and had two candidates - one fat and one slim I would try and be conscious that I might have pre-conceived biases against the fat person."

Absolutely. But it's not my job to let fat guys put their dicks in me, so how is that a relevant analogy?

Redheads aren't a race though

They are a specific category. What is it about race in particular that you think its ok to discriminate on almost everything but that?

What has that got to do with it?

Navy did you read the article and the comments? Do you think people should have to dye their hair to avoid abuse?

Plus we have spoken on this thread a lot about red haired people, people in wheelchairs, females and males; not just about people of different races.

Late coming here and haven't RTFT but, she said she usually prefers white men. She hasn't ruled out an entire race, just that she tends to find white men more attractive to her. Not that she would never date or find another race of man attractive.

Physical attraction is shallow and you can be put off people by the slightest of things hair colour, eye colour, glasses, freckles, skinny, muscular, etc etc. That doesn't mean that you couldn't find love with someone with a trait you don't find particularly attractive, however it would take more than a passing glance.

In my personal tastes, walking down the road my eye would be caught by a tall, tattooed, dark haired man. I wouldn't take a second glance at a bald muscley man, BUT that doesn't mean that if I didn't spend time with such a man I couldn't come to find him attractive due to his personality or other physical traits that aren't immediately apparent.

She could have phrased it better, however I don't think she is racist for having a personal preference on what she is immediately attracted to.

I suspect the women speaking about the black guy like a piece of meat may be a tad racist though.

Navy "Are you really that insensitive and obtuse to realise that race has many different complexities other than the colour of someone's hair?"

I am not sure what relevance this has, of course race can manifest in different things, not all people of Afro Caribbean origin etc will have the same skin tone, or features etc.

Indeed people may be any race and have red hair.

www.upworthy.com/7-gorgeous-photos-of-redheads-that-challenge-the-way-we-see-race

As this thread has developed to be discussing and thinking about bias and prejudices in general, and as many people have mentioned red hair, I thought I would post a link and see what people feel.

I think red hair should be a protected category, just like race and sex, and sexual orientation.

If you are not interested in that, Navy that is fine.

If Cornish people have minority status in the UK, why not red heads. When did you last hear of someone being bullied for being Cornish?

www.gov.uk/government/news/cornish-granted-minority-status-within-the-uk

Navy "
Do you think that redheads suffer the same bias and prejudice as black people then?"

I don't know what red headed people have suffered as statistics are not recorded officially, that I know of.

I am not interested in playing 'who is most persecuted'. I am concerned that it seems OK, acceptable even to express negative views about red headed people.

Just so you know I am neither black nor red headed. But I hate people to be treated unfairy, bullied or harassed for any reason, and I wonder why it seems acceptable to allow it for any group of people.

I find the idea that red headed people can dye their hair completely bizarre.Men could dress as men, should they be doing that to avoid abuse?!

I know this is not the main topic of this thread so don't want to derail but just wondered if anyone else felt red haired people get a very unfair deal?

Sorry that should say... Women could dress as men, should they be doing that to avoid abuse?!

Navy please chill, "I just feel that you want to argue with everything I say Italian and pull me up. Quite bewildering really." I find it bewildering you think I want to argue with you. I don't. You have responded to me as I have to you. It is fine for you not to respond to me.

I just wanted to gauge some views on whether red heads should be 'protected'. I also wonder if in some ways there is a racial element to the red headed gene. I've looked in to this before. It interests me.

Of course no one should be picked on. But the way that, say, old school comedians work, for example, is to pick on a group that have a collective view held against them. They cannot do that for so many groups now (rightly) and yet commenting on red heads still seems OK.

I am pleased you share my views on this Navy and am honestly not trying to pick an argument. I am genuinely sorry if it came across like that.

Of course it's not ok to express negative views about anyone

Isn't it? Only positive words available about everyone? OK , call MNHQ, close down the site !!

I think they should include read hair under race, as it is much more prevalent in some ethnic groups than others.

But then I think class and region should also be protected characteristics.

Physical attraction is shallow and you can be put off people by the slightest of things hair colour, eye colour, glasses, freckles, skinny, muscular, etc etc. That doesn't mean that you couldn't find love with someone with a trait you don't find particularly attractive, however it would take more than a passing glance

^That , and the rest of your post Barry is about the most sensible comment in a while on this thread.

Navy I always want to get on with people, no point otherwise.

I think this thread has touched lots of nerves, I do appreciate people often have the best interests and best intentions, even when I do not agree with the outworking of them. Likewise I've got a thing about red heads, but no idea exactly why! (No one in my family is red headed!)