AIBU in thinking this is not racist?

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

At a baby group, and one of the mothers starts commenting on a father who is there, mentioning how she wouldn't say no etc. Then asked what we think
One friend turned round and said no he isn't my cup of tea.
Original lady asked why
She responded she normally prefers white men, not black men.
Original lady tells her she should be disgusted in herself and having a view like that is highly racist. She then asked me do I agree if she was racist in what she said.

I told her I wouldn't view this as racist, just personal preference.
Is this actually racist? Or is original lady just being a bit over the top.

I didn't used to find black men attractive, it's preference. I do now, however it never came from racism. It wasn't even a choice, you can't help who you fancy! Although it's not a nice thing to just come out with really. But then nobody should have demanded answers from her!

I gave you an answer. I'm straight

So do you accept that makes you sexist?

I liked the guy who's supposedly a hit on tindr and the most right-swiped in Britain.
TBH, I'd also think that if someone uses the colour of someone's skin as a part of attractiveness, it's racist.
I have a certain preference for features in a man. Their skin colour ends up being pretty irrelevant.

It's an interesting one

I'd probably never say "I normally prefer white men" or similar.

I have recognised beautiful attractive people with all different looks including height, weight, race, skin colour, eye colour, hair, etc etc.

That being said, I have never yet been sexually attracted to a black person (or a male red head, or a blonde person).

I don't think that makes me racist.

Do you sleep with men andwomen then ItsAllGoingToBeFine

No - I wouldnt be immediately attracted to a women. That does not make me sexist.

I wouldn't be immediately attracted to a black man - that doesn't make me racist

I wouldn't be immediately attracted to a person with visible disabilities - that doesn't make me disablist.

You (Navy) seem to be arguing, however, that it is ok to not be attracted to a particular sex class, but it is not ok to not be attracted to a particular race class.

Navy

You realise some folk would think you are shallow and bigoted for discriminating on partners depending on their genitals -?that you should be attracted to the person (not what genitals they have).

Overall - women can consensually fuck who the fuck they like, and discriminate against sexual partners in whatever terms they like - that is their right.

I'm straight. I fancy men. I wouldn't dismiss someone in a wheelchair though.

By men, do you men with a penis? If yes, that could, and often is argued as transphobic and makes you bigot who reduces people to their genitals, a physical trait that they can't help.

Fwiw I don't think it's transphobic to say you would only want sex with men with a penis, anymore than the woman in the OP is racist. Again though, it's mainly directed towards women, in particular lesbians, to agree to accept a penis they don't want. Straight men are not being shamed into having sex with women with penis, Gay men are not being shamed into sex with with men with vaginas. There is no male equivalent of the cotton ceiling, trying to break through males underwear. Why is that? It sometimes seems like only males sexual preferences are valid and reasonable and a woman saying no is a nasty meany (Not saying you're saying that, just a general thing)

Apple this comments are really sensible. 're "If black people hear over that they are lesser and that they are not attractive, and that happens in the context of a society in which that is already reinforced, can you see how that would be harmful to them? And might be hurtful?"

Yes absolutely, I agree with you.

In this context - I got the impression neither the man nor his partner were present; for what it is worth if either hafbeen present it would be a doubly weird conversation!

Also.... "I personally think the solution is to try kindness i.e. i think if there's a way to avoid saying something is due to someone's race, i think it's better to do that."

I totally agree with you Apple.

But you called me sexist because I'm straight. Contradicting yourself there

No, I was pointing out your inconsistency in thinking it is ok to discriminate by sex, but not race.

Despite there being beautiful ladies out there, I only date men. Am I sexist?

Maybe not sexist but possibly transphobic depending on your viewpoint.

Maybe not sexist but possibly transphobic depending on your viewpoint.

Good grief.

I gave you an answer. I'm straight

That isn't an answer to the question asked, which was "is it ok to discriminate using the class of sex". It's a yes or no question, you can't answer it with "I'm straight".
Although that means yes, you think it is ok to discriminate.

Just not on this one class. Which doesn't make sense.

Wow

How is being straight discrimination? It's not a choice is it?

Same could be said for types/ who you find physically attractive.

How is being straight discrimination? It's not a choice is it?

Eureka, you finally got there! You are absolutely right, who you are attracted to is NOT A CHOICE, which is why the woman in the OP is NOT RACIST.

I knew you'd get there eventually.

racist in my book. If asked my type I would have said tall, big shoulders, handsome muscly type of bloke, probably a leaning towards dark hair rather than blonde, clean shaven, but honestly, I have been attracted to many men that do and don't fit that image because... y'know they are individuals and hey ho humour is often enough to bowl me over, I have dated many men black white and asian who all had something that attracted me. My DH is slim, small build, was auburny brown now grey , white, funny, intelligent, caring, compassionate, principled, sexy and a great dad. Far more appealing qualities than tall dark and handsome, although he is certainly still handsome, he is my 'soulmate' he just doesn't fit my stereotype attractive image! so what does that say? perhaps I just had an open mind and looked at the person rather than the stereotype hmm. I think to block anyone because they are white / black / asian / blonde / ginger etc etc makes you a shallow person who may well be missing out on getting to know a really superb partner in love or life. friend or lover and shame on them for being so shallow / racist.

No, I don't think it's racist. It's just a preference, same as some women don't like redhead men or men with glasses or whatever.