To think this is a bit much at some one else's house

[Nicpem1982]

Posted on here for traffic really but if I'm bu I'm prepared to be told

When do children show a preference to learning styles?

Dds 2.5 and we had some friends over yesterday around the same age we've been friends since dcs we're 6 months old and get on well.

I went to pop the dcs lunch out and a friend agreed to keep and eye on my dd no problem.

I went back into the living room 5 mins later and friends dc had literally taken everything out and was throwing it around the room much to the 😱 Of the other who were there trying to protect their dcs from flying toys.

When I said "wow looks like you guys have had fun! Shall we choose one toy to keep out and pop the rest away?" His mom said he's a kinaesthetic learner and she won't stop him making a mess???

So my question is aibu to think this friend just being lazy or is this a thing?

Incidentally when she left after lunch she didn't clear up and the house was carnage

well apparently my DS is a typical kinasthetic learner (teacher who's really into learning styles told me) but kinasthetic or not there is no way I would let him throw toys around - at our house or someone else's.
YANBU

"That's lovely. This ISN'T a kinaesthetic house though, so we are going to keep it tidy" (big grin, head tilt)

Was waiting for the dyslexia deniers to chime in.

'There was none of that in my day.' etc etc. Urgh.

YABVU for using the word 'pop'.

Your 'friend' is an arse.

No. The evidence shows that that learning styles are bollocks - with few exceptions as I mentioned on page 1. Dyslexia is very real and has nothing to do with the pseudoscience of learning styles whatsoever.

much as dyslexia was dreamt up forty years ago to excuse middle class children's stupidity

Crikey Strygil that's a bit of a bold claim!

I've got a teacher on my fb, who regularly shares shite articles 'debunking' various learning disabilities and expressed doubts that dyslexia was a real condition.

But said person also think that the royals are lizards, soooo....

I would screenshot that and send it to their school if they were on my fb p1nklam1ngos

Dyslexia is a real thing, though, as are plenty of other learning differences. You can tell because they have acres of actual peer-reviewed scientific research behind them, and our understanding of them has changed and become more nuanced over time. See a PP's comments on visual vs auditory processing issues.

Learning styles just aren't real. That said, I teach a lot as part of my job, and have found that a lot of the techniques that are promoted as being good for a particular learning style are actually great for teaching specific tasks, or if you include techniques for all four in an hour's session you find that it goes down really well. It's not because you're covering all learning styles - it's because some modes of learning are better for some tasks, or because you've changed the pace and approach of your training every 15 minutes or so which really aids concentration in your students.

For those who like a good proper citation with their science, there's a number in this short article: www.debunker.club/learning-styles-are-not-an-effective-guide-for-learning-design.html

Wow, no such thing as dyslexia? An excuse for middle class stupidity? So my best mate, middle class definitely, had so much trouble learning to read and write, still has awful problems with those things. But she hasnevertheless, got a First Class Honours degree from London Uni, in an essay-based subject, a Masters from another top class London Uni, and a PhD.

But she still can't read or write with ease, so she's just stupid.

Bloody hell.

Strygil I'm really struggling to come up with a response to your ill-informed, fucking offensive post that won't get me deleted.

Btw the way Strygil contrary to your post, dyslexia was first identified in 1881.

I don't think strygil was saying dyslexia doesn't exist, she is just trying to insist that learning styles do exist, and is saying that denying them is the same as denying dyslexia.

I do feel sorry for people suckered into this, it was a multimillion pound marketing scam, and I don't see why calling pseudoscientific voodoo "educational research" should protect people from protection from fraud.

One of the worst educational frauds I've ever come across was brain gym. We sat through hours of training worth tens of thousands of pounds, trying to laugh at the sheer stupidity of it, but were forced to act as if it was a serious, scientifically researched subject, rewrite our schemes of work, lesson plans etc, and waste learning time on this.

In my opinion anyone who had made money out of learning styles, brain gym, mindfulness, growth mindsets, etc should not only be forced to pay the money back to parents and schools, but be prosecuted for fraud too.

• trying NOT to laugh, we got into trouble if we didn't keep a straight face.....

user1484

"much as dyslexia was dreamt up forty years ago to excuse middle class children's stupidity"

I don't think there is very much ambiguity in Strygil's statement above.

I think she was being sarcastic Scarlett. That is how it comes across to me

That's not kinaesthetic learning. It may be sensory seeking. Either way, it's hugely insensitive and inconsiderate of her.

Strygil -

Why didn't you use the time you spent airing this non-problem to put your friend straight about what a lousy parent she is? I'm sure she will welcome the advice, and your self-esteem - already healthy by the look of things - will rocket

Wow thank you for your opinion. I don't think she's a lousy parent the word was LAZY. Spot of made up middle class dyslexia to cover your stupidity perhaps? 😉

The dumping stuff out is pretty standard.... My dd and her friends still do it on playdates at 4.5! But the throwing is a big no no....sounds lethal!!

Kids do love to tip things out etc. But even so there is no way I would let my kids do that in someone else's home. I would at the very least be putting back as they took out and keeping it to a minimal amount of toys! And of course tidied up when I left! Some people! 😒

I would have sat on the floor and put say all but 3 toys away, saying to the DC maybe just this once you can have 3 toys, but you need to put one back if you're going to get another out.

If the DC disobeyed repeat, repeat, repeat! If the Mum spoke up and said oh DC is used to being surrounded by toys, say you only usually allow 1, but as an exception 3 seems fair for 1 child. The other children appear a bit startled, I need to cater for everybody.

It's your house and your rules, I've never heard of that term before, sounds to me that the parent is finding an excuse for her DC creating a war zone. If I'm wrong please correct me.

We've always had the rule you can play with a toy or 2, if they're related somehow. But you put back a toy to get out another, it saves stuff going missing and also means your communal space isn't a war zone.

One would hope another parent would say, oh DC is a bit alarmed by your DC's behaviour, we should aim for co-operation, sharing and mixed play, that's why we're here.

When you visit another persons house, you tell your DC if old enough to understand, behave, it's the hosts rules, don't go breaking toys, don't go making a mess, pick up after yourself. I'm quite shocked the Mum left you with a shit tip to deal with.

I would have sat on the floor and put say all but 3 toys away, saying to the DC maybe just this once you can have 3 toys, but you need to put one back if you're going to get another out.

Seriously? That does sound a bit extreme and dull to me. I wouldn't create a huge mess in someone else's house but having 3 toys at a time is a bit limiting. My DS always liked loads - toddlers are creative, there'll be a dinosaur farm next to a railway and teddy hospital, then he'll build a cafe to serve food to the sick teddies etc. Would be very boring if he could only play with 3 things at a time. Surely you make a big mess then you all tidy up afterwards.

As an aside (although I wouldn't let my DS or DD to do it in someone else's house if they had different rules) I find it odd not to let DC's tip up the toy box if they want to - it's totally normal curiosity. In my house we had a "you tip you tidy" rule. That way they don't constantly tip things up just for the hell of it (because it's an effort to tidy it back up) but they can have a good rummage through their toys and play freely without someone over their back nagging them about the mess.

Learning styles have been proven to be utter bollocks.
Sadly, some parents are still clinging onto the idea that being a kinaesthetic learner is why tbeir little darling cant sit still, play sensibly, write essays (at school). What always amuses me is you never hear visual or auditory learninh being used as an excuse for shocking behaviour.

Can a toddler be excitable and pull everything out? Yes. Theyre a toddler. But the correct response to tell them its not ok and then help the other adults clear up, not make excuses for their little angel.