To think this is a bit much at some one else's house

[Nicpem1982]

Posted on here for traffic really but if I'm bu I'm prepared to be told

When do children show a preference to learning styles?

Dds 2.5 and we had some friends over yesterday around the same age we've been friends since dcs we're 6 months old and get on well.

I went to pop the dcs lunch out and a friend agreed to keep and eye on my dd no problem.

I went back into the living room 5 mins later and friends dc had literally taken everything out and was throwing it around the room much to the 😱 Of the other who were there trying to protect their dcs from flying toys.

When I said "wow looks like you guys have had fun! Shall we choose one toy to keep out and pop the rest away?" His mom said he's a kinaesthetic learner and she won't stop him making a mess???

So my question is aibu to think this friend just being lazy or is this a thing?

Incidentally when she left after lunch she didn't clear up and the house was carnage

[Lochan]

Gandalf very true.

We used to know a little girl who didn't have many toys (not lack of money but she was in nursery 4 days so her parent's didn't feel she needed many at home - fair enough) and at home was only allowed to play with strictly one toy at a time.

She would come to play dates at ours and go wild, pulling out every toy we owned. Her Mum's response to this (every single time) was "you have too many toys".

Same child used to try to pinch stuff - I learned very quickly to check her hands before she left.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

kinaesthetic breakage and injuries

[JeffreySadsacIsUnwell]

WTF didn't you say "well, that's fine, as long as you're a kinaesthetic teacher and you tidy up all his mess yourself?"

However - now you know how he likes to learn, you'll know how to encourage your DD to play next time you're at their house, won't you?! And if you get asked to help tidy up, you can do the MN tinkly laugh and say "oh no, that's not our preferred learning style!"

[anonbecauseiwanna]

Hahaha no he's just a normal 2.5 yo who's mother didn't stop him from being destructive.

kinaesthetic learner 😂😂😂

[VeganCow]

'Learning styles'? What a load of crap. I was a 70s child and our learning style was 'Do as you're told or else'

[Nicpem1982]

Jeffrey- my dd doesn't play like that she got distressed yesterday because of her toys being trashed.

We've agreed to meet at parks and wide open spaces going forward or 1:1 play dates at his house so the environment suits his style

[SalmonFajitas]

Honestly playdates with toddlers sometimes don't work out in their own houses anyway - even with parents' help. Some are more rambunctious and some are sensitive and need to have control over their toys - and get upset when other kids don't play their way. It's easier when they're older and they've learned to be a bit more flexible.

[bumsexatthebingo]

TeaBelle Google Coffield, Pashler, Rohrer, Willingham. There is tons of research that show that learning styles were just a DfES trend that never had any good evidence behind it.

[bumsexatthebingo]

Although like I said I think the op's friend may be confusing learning styles and schemas.

[gandalf456]

I agree Salmon. Sometimes they grow out of it and a couple of years later it's easier

[TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder]

Can't be doing with parents like this. We have a family member who sounds exactly the same. Her children are never naughty, they are "learning by doing". Little shits. Except they're not really little shits, they're just very lively, very boisterous, fairly average children. It's the lack of any kind of meaningful parenting that is stopping them from developing into lovely young kids. Her and her husband are really doing their children such a disservice, because nobody wants them at parties or playdates, we all make excuses because they are so destructive and it's always stressful and unenjoyable. They will grow up to be horrible, entitled and destructive teens and adults. And it will be the children themselves who are disadvantaged as a result, all because their parents are either too lazy to bother or they think they're cool and progressive.

[Bestthingever]

I didn't know the learning styles theory had been debunked but your friend is talking total bullshit to describe this behaviour has anything to do with kinaesthetic learning. What is he exploring by throwing toys aimlessly? Is it the first time you've seen him behave like this?

[Deathraystare]

My friend told me about a boy of 7 whose mum happily let him shit on the floor. He was expressing himself apparently...

Christ knows what he does at school...

[drspouse]

Myth of learning styles

[Nicpem1982]

He's never made this level of deliberate mess before no. I don't want to cease seeing this friend based on one dodgy play date.

I do think that my dd has more fun in the outdoors with this particular boy so want to be able to be selective about the indoor activities we do at the moment I'm happy to see this child and mum and visit the park, do welly walks and nature hunts etc

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Probably best to avoid visiting the library with him....books everywhere!

[DearMrDilkington]

I can't believe your friend said she wouldn't stop him making a mess.

Was he just getting toys out or was he just grabbing random items to throw as well?

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

She's missing a trick not encouraging her son to be a good play date. My little lad is in very high demand because he is well behaved. Some kids in his class don't get invited out much, not because they are not popular, but because they are too much hard work for the hosting parent.

When my youngest suggests inviting a friend round it is always hotly debated by his older siblings, "Oh no, don't have that cheeky little kid round, have that nice little one you had last week, he was okay".

[Cubtrouble]

Is the mother on crack? Seriously rude. Don't have her back

[Nicpem1982]

Dear- my living room only has toys at a reachable height as it's deliberately set up to promote order (😂) and so dd has access to her toys without having to ask for assistance this way she can pick and chose what she wants to play and for how long and as everything has a specific "home" it's easy for her to find and to put away

[Nicpem1982]

Cub- she's not on crack -she doesn't even drink

[Haffdonga]

I knew a dc that 'played' like this, caused damage and hurt other dcs every time he joined a group. People would avoid asking him round due to the level of destruction and upset he caused. Word in the playground was that his parents were too soft and never said no.

In fact he grew up to have ADHD and a mild learning disability. His older brother was totally different (but same parenting obviously). I'm not one for internet diagnoses of anything - just saying that sometimes a parent's method of disciplining a child can be as a result of that child's behaviour rather than causing the behaviour. Maybe this boy's mum has learnt that this is the best way to cope with her ds's behaviour.

BTW, the little boy I knew grew up to be a lovely, polite and friendly international level rugby player.

[omnishamblesssssssssssssss]

Even a Kinaesthetic learner needs boundaries

[Nicpem1982]

Every child needs boundaries

[thenoisytimetravelstudent]

Yanbu- I have a friend with a child like that. She mostly ignores it and I think it's just her survival mode. Think what it must be like to deal with that 24/7! While I understand that, they haven't been in my house in ages, I can't cope with it in my small living room. Only meet up if they can play outside or on neutral ground.