To think this is a bit much at some one else's house

[Nicpem1982]

Posted on here for traffic really but if I'm bu I'm prepared to be told

When do children show a preference to learning styles?

Dds 2.5 and we had some friends over yesterday around the same age we've been friends since dcs we're 6 months old and get on well.

I went to pop the dcs lunch out and a friend agreed to keep and eye on my dd no problem.

I went back into the living room 5 mins later and friends dc had literally taken everything out and was throwing it around the room much to the 😱 Of the other who were there trying to protect their dcs from flying toys.

When I said "wow looks like you guys have had fun! Shall we choose one toy to keep out and pop the rest away?" His mom said he's a kinaesthetic learner and she won't stop him making a mess???

So my question is aibu to think this friend just being lazy or is this a thing?

Incidentally when she left after lunch she didn't clear up and the house was carnage

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

I was thinking that bum. Short of strapping little Johnny down, it seems a pointless exercise.

[Nicpem1982]

Worral -

When I said "wow looks like you guys have had fun! Shall we choose one toy to keep out and pop the rest away?" His mom said he's a kinaesthetic learner and she won't stop him making a mess???

At this point if I insist when she's already said she's not stopping him that becomes awkward and a stand off

[Rugbyplayersarehot]

She's is only going to get more irritating op.

She's one of those mothers. Her ds bites abs he's exploring textures!

[Nicpem1982]

Rugby - we've had the biting phase

[SalmonFajitas]

Nicpem1982 Well throwing toys around is an obvious no no in someone else's house but personally I wouldn't have a problem with there being lots of toys out - surely that's what happens with lots of toddlers on a playdate. Someone else's toys are new and exciting so they all come out. You either tidy up as you go or everyone helps tidy before they go home.

[SalmonFajitas]

(Although obviously the host gets to set the rules so I certainly wouldn't have argued if you said we can only have a few toys out at a time).

[Mrscog]

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect children to treat toys with respect or tidy up mess, especially in someone else's house.

I don't really agree with a 1 toy at a time approach as it stifles creativity. My limit is up to 3-4 different things out. I cringe when someone told my DS he couldn't have lego and the train set out at the same time - he wanted to build extra accessories for the trains. However, we obeyed the rule as it was someone else's house.

[Nicpem1982]

Salmon- the others didn't get a look in really as toys were just being thrown by him.

If toys were out and the dcs were playing then fine seriously don't have an issue with that or the dcs flirting between toys but he was just emptying everything no one else had chance to use anything

[Rugbyplayersarehot]

God then your a better woman than me op.

Go ahead and meet at soft play or the park but keep your house off limits. To be honest by 2 they usually prefer a good physical play.

[SalmonFajitas]

Well clearly if he's monopolising the toys and flinging them around so no one else gets a look in then YADNBU. We all have different personalities and children play in different ways but they still have to fit in with the rest of the world. I'm not surprised a 2,5 year old doesn't understand consideration for other kids but his mum should have intervened.

[SalmonFajitas]

I just thought you meant the toy box got emptied on the floor - this happened on pretty much every toddler playdate I can remember and we all just tidied up a bit as we went then finished off tidying before leaving so the host wasn't left with a huge mess.

[bumsexatthebingo]

We have all the toys out when kids come over to play and tbh I don't even mind tidying most of it. I would expect the offer of help though. And I've taught my children from the off that different houses have different rules.
Throwing toys I wouldn't tolerate. The op said the other mums were having to protect their kids and also things can get broken.
Take the child outside to play catch if they need to throw. Or give them something they can throw safely. One of my dc would happily spend a good 30 mins throwing a clean tissue in the air watching it float and catching it.

[Lochan]

Nic you are forgetting where the power balance lies in this social situation. It's not a stand off. There is no argument. It's your house.

So if you say we need to tidy up before lunch then that's what happens. She may not choose to join in of course but very few adults can sit and watch the host tidy up alone without feeling terribly awkward.

By the way - one of mine was a whirl wind toddler and would play with several toys at once. That's fine but I would pay attention and once he was done with something I'd quietly put it away. We'd certainly never leave a mess in anyone else's house.

With some guests you need to take charge. Politely but firmly.

[Nicpem1982]

Salmon - no that's not what I meant.

My dd has baskets with different things in - construction blocks, animals, shape sorting, threading etc all of these got threw around as well as 7 orchard games emptied 2 cookie jars with 60 pieces in each threw around (I have had to fish some of these from behind my sofa) all piled up and being launched around

[Nicpem1982]

I did have the sense to move dds Lego and sylvanian families toys before they came

[gandalf456]

He can be a kinaesthetic learner in his own house or she can be responsible for the kinaesthetic breakages and injuries that result.

[drspouse]

Learning styles are a load of tosh. I say this as the parent of a child who struggles with poor behaviour, throwing in particular. I know it's behaviour, he knows he's not supposed to, we are working on it and will apologise.

[gandalf456]

You do sometimes make some bonkers friends as a parent. I've met a few too.

[Nicpem1982]

Gandalf- I'm probably a bonkers parent at times too

[Nicpem1982]

Drspouse- no one could ask anymore of you as a parent

[gandalf456]

I'm sure we all have our moments, yes.

[Bluebellevergreen]

I disagree with the "learning styles are a myth" opinions here.
I work in child education and development with a psichology and learning styles background and they are not "rubbish or a myth"

Different people learn better different ways, we all have our little tricks but that is not the only way we learn, with the majority of us using different learning styles at once.

Being a kinaesthetic learner is not about making a mess with those toys, she is full of it.
If she really thinks he is a kinaesthetic learner and exclusively that (unlikely!) she can also teach him to put the toys away by moving them, modelling.

She is full of it and I wouldnt have her over again.

[Bluebellevergreen]

Psychology. Sprry typing on birthing ball 😂😂

[Rugbyplayersarehot]

In my experience it's the parents behaviour that's annoying not their child's.

All kids have their moments but you understand that, it's the parents response that makes or breaks a friendship.

[TeaBelle]

Has anyone got any links to studies that have disproved the effectiveness of learning styles please. Not disagreeing but I would just like to read them in regards to an area of interest I have. Thanks