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AIBU?

To think this is a bit much at some one else's house

184 replies

Nicpem1982 · 14/02/2017 12:12

Posted on here for traffic really but if I'm bu I'm prepared to be told

When do children show a preference to learning styles?

Dds 2.5 and we had some friends over yesterday around the same age we've been friends since dcs we're 6 months old and get on well.

I went to pop the dcs lunch out and a friend agreed to keep and eye on my dd no problem.

I went back into the living room 5 mins later and friends dc had literally taken everything out and was throwing it around the room much to the 😱 Of the other who were there trying to protect their dcs from flying toys.

When I said "wow looks like you guys have had fun! Shall we choose one toy to keep out and pop the rest away?" His mom said he's a kinaesthetic learner and she won't stop him making a mess???

So my question is aibu to think this friend just being lazy or is this a thing?

Incidentally when she left after lunch she didn't clear up and the house was carnage

OP posts:

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TheMysteriousJackelope · 14/02/2017 20:50

I would have thought a visit to someone else's house would have been a great time to kinesthetically teach what is and isn't a considerate thing to do as a visitor, and it would involve exploring the gravity and spatial awareness involved in tidying up.

Nicpem1982 · 14/02/2017 20:51

Beezie - he's not going to nursery friend wants to HE until he's 7

OP posts:

BoomBoomsCousin · 14/02/2017 20:53

Nic I wasn't meaning to imply, by my comment about our sedentary culture, that you didn't do enough exercise with your DC. Just because some kids can't sit still doesn't make the kids who can be quieter are automatically too sedentary.

I just mean it's hard for parents with kids who won't stop being really energetic when they're in smaller spaces, because we seem to really value that ability to be still and sometimes we expect it of kids who aren't always capable of it. So people sometimes look for language that might emphasise a cultural positive instead, because they are sick of the tutting and looks and general disapproval. Though with some of the other things you've said about her, it sounds like she just buys into a lot of fashion when it comes to advice on raising children and doesn't think much about the impact on the other kids.

Nicpem1982 · 14/02/2017 20:55

Nic I wasn't meaning to imply, by my comment about our sedentary culture, that you didn't do enough exercise with your DC. Just because some kids can't sit still doesn't make the kids who can be quieter are automatically too sedentary.

Didn't even cross my mind 😂

OP posts:

Nicpem1982 · 14/02/2017 21:02

Boom - I just wanted to illustrate that we do have good times with the dc that rampaged through my house yesterday and I don't think he's the devil incarnate

OP posts:

Olympiathequeen · 14/02/2017 21:03

Wow! DS2 is one of those. Now I have an excuse for the constant mess.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/02/2017 21:15

My sil wanted to home ed till her ds was about 7 too. Dd 3 years his senior used to get jealous and upset when sil said what she was "planning". It never happened.

I was in a group of friends, who met up preschool. Luckily parenting style was similar. This would drive me insane. I definitely would stop a child creating such devastation. If the mum did nothing, I would have stopped him from opening and throwing boxed games around.

user1484226561 · 14/02/2017 21:23

There is no such thing as "learning styles" it is just another of those pseudoscientific crack pot lunatic ideas that get latched on to and every school in the land has to dance the stupid meaningless pointless timewasting dance, until that idea is thrown out, and some other bollox comes in, and we all have to dance differently until the next fad.

KnittedBlanketHoles · 14/02/2017 21:27

No 2.5yr old is going to be a read/write learner are they!

I could read and write before I was three, just saying.

p1nkflam1ngos · 14/02/2017 22:02

Was just reading through the de-bunking link there, and spotted the mention of auditory vs visual learning - and yes, this actually is a 'thing,' as someone mentioned earlier in the thread. It's taken into account when 'scoring' your child on autism/LD assessment. Both of my kids need things literally spelled out ( or drawn out ) for them on paper before they absorb it. Kids with ASD and dyspraxia often have an auditory processing problem and benefit immensely from seeing what is being taught.

Sorry for being a bore....but I just didn't want to see such a crucial learning style being erroneously 'debunked.'

Incidentally my child tips and throws toys out, but I am always mortified about it and tidy it up!

RubbishMantra · 14/02/2017 22:04

"Little Benedict isn't going to best learn his times tables through the medium of dance!"

I so want to see times tables interpreted through dance and music! I am not Andrew Lloyd Webber

Kookypants · 14/02/2017 22:10

Take glitter, flour, cream of tartare, salt to her house. Make glitter playdough in the living room.

user1484226561 · 14/02/2017 22:10

Sorry for being a bore....but I just didn't want to see such a crucial learning style being erroneously 'debunked.' That has nothing whatsoever to do with learning styles, pinkflamingo, in fact its the exact opposite

BigGrannyPants · 14/02/2017 22:11

My 18 month old twins tip everything out, I don't see it as being a big deal, they are very messy. However if I was at someone else's and they did that I'd make sure I tidied up behind them. It might be laziness with your friend or it might not. For me, it's bloody hard work clearing up after the carnage every night, but I still do it, every night. I have 3 kids and they can destroy a room in approximately 10 seconds (not literally destroy)

p1nkflam1ngos · 14/02/2017 22:17

user I'm interested, how would that mean the opposite?

Jaxhog · 14/02/2017 22:20

I think you tell her, that her DC can be a 'kinaesthetic learner' at her house next time. This isn't a difference in learning styles, its plain old bad manners.

Silverdream · 14/02/2017 22:24

A kinaesthetic learner means you learn by touching, exploring and creating rather than being taught classroom style.
It does not mean chucking stuff about. You learn physically hands on. You can explore one toy at a time. Which is a better way to learn as the child doesn't become overwhelmed.
Basically she's talking crap as all little ones learn that way.

user1484226561 · 14/02/2017 22:26

A kinaesthetic learner means you learn by touching, exploring and creating rather than being taught classroom style. there is n such thing, silverdream, it is just a term dreamt up by some lunatic living in cloud cuckoo land with nothing better to do than fill up their time inventing crap that doesn't exist.

Barbie222 · 14/02/2017 22:35

Mixing up the Lego with the jigsaw puzzles etc makes me grit my teeth. This is why playgroups were invented!

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 14/02/2017 22:37

DS2 would love to claim he's a kinaesthetic learner with low auditory learning skills

Unfortunately for him, we have boundaries

Yes, children of that age do pull things out, and it is sloppy parenting to allow them to leave carnage in their wake, and make excuses about it.

BraCrumble · 14/02/2017 22:39

THERE ARE NO SUCH THING AS LEARNING STYLES.

It is one of the most persistent 'neuromyths'. There never was any evidence for it, it's just made up and people like it in the same way they like star signs or whatever. It is absolutely not real.

qz.com/585143/the-concept-of-different-learning-styles-is-one-of-the-greatest-neuroscience

We're still fighting this battle in the education profession even though it's been disproved for ages, and it's so depressing!

dowhatnow · 14/02/2017 22:48

Surely he can kinaesthetically learn to put away as well as empty out?

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Strygil · 14/02/2017 22:53

Why didn't you use the time you spent airing this non-problem to put your friend straight about what a lousy parent she is? I'm sure she will welcome the advice, and your self-esteem - already healthy by the look of things - will rocket.

user1484226561 · 14/02/2017 22:56

Strygil, was it you????

Its not a non problem, it is a question, the OP has asked if there is such a thing as a kinesthetic learner, and do they do this?

The answer is no, there is no such thing.

ellamoromou · 14/02/2017 23:01

Parent's like this bug the heck out of me OP! I'm more forthright and would have absolutely told her child to stop throwing toys around and asked her to clean up afterwards. I do know though that it's hard to do if you're not a naturally confrontational person. Youve done the absolute right thing by arranging playdates away from home - she can let her little cherub flippinkinesthic to his/hers heart's content!

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