Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my in-laws are over reacting?

207 replies

Snugglepalace · 13/02/2017 20:23

My dc (11yr old ds & 8 yr old dd) stay over at my in-laws once a week during the school hols, so that's roughly 10 times a year.
They have a 2 bed house and up till 6 months ago dc slept together in their spare room, however in laws now make dd sleep on the floor in the living room which she hates, she says it's uncomfortable.
So I asked them today if the kids can share the room and they got quite angry with me and said no it's not right at their age!!
AIBU to think that's a bit over the top for a sleep over just 10-12 times a year?

OP posts:
Olympiathequeen · 13/02/2017 21:33

Insist they sleep in the same room in comfort or stop them going. Ridiculous for a child to be uncomfortable.

Original poster
Snugglepalace · 13/02/2017 21:36

Yes Across that probably is exactly what she doesShock

OP posts:
Rugbyplayersarehot · 13/02/2017 21:36

Hilarious although I think my kids polish their arses they use so much toilet roll

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 13/02/2017 21:36

Opposite issue here ; my inlaws have a three bedroom house. They still make any guests sleep all together in one spare bedroom. This consist of my DS1 15 and quite tall these days and DS2 (12) in a small double bed. The time will come when they won't want to do this but my ILs just will not change this. This is why DH and I don't also stay : if we did, we'd be in the double bed and the dcs would be arranged somehow on the floor. There was a big row one year when DS1 was little when I put (sorry' 'rammed') a travel cot in the 3rd bedroom. Apparently this made me a bad mother (because we should never sleep!) and a very bad person all round because I MOVED A COAT.

SabineUndine · 13/02/2017 21:37

I'm with the people who say this is nuts. My brother and I shared a bedroom for a week when I was 16 or so. He is 3 years younger than me. I wouldn't have wanted it permanently or eg when I'd got my period, but it didn't bother either of us just for a week.

FlowerOfTheValley · 13/02/2017 21:41

Your DD will end up posting on MN in years to come about the strange toilet roll situation at her grandparents when she was a kid.

Love the larve!

Bitofacow · 13/02/2017 21:42

WHAT, she asks then slides under the door?

The issue is sleeping on the floor? What the.... What the ....how.... what!

My kids delicate little arses need 20 sheets of top quality roll no matter what they do.

"Can I have 2 please Granny? Oh no a wee has slipped out!"

Piratefairy78 · 13/02/2017 21:42

Your PIL sound mad. I have a DS and DD of those ages. Currently DD is having a sleep over in DS room for fun. It's the holidays, they enjoy watching a movie together (occasionally!).

DropZoneOne · 13/02/2017 21:43

When I was 11 and my brother was 8 we stayed in the same SINGLE bed, top to tail, for a few days on a family holiday. A double bed would have been a bloody luxury!

Crumbs1 · 13/02/2017 21:44

Mine shared/share very happily at 24/22/21/19 and 18. Twins are one of each and would have been upset at sleeping separately until quite old. They hated single sex boarding houses at sixth form. Why could they not share? Good way to understand growing up issues. Our sons are all pretty expert at best way to manage period pain!

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 13/02/2017 21:47

I suppose my point was drop that in my PILs case they have a third bedroom...no need for the topping and tailing.
But they like to keep it unused...

PassTheWineAndFags · 13/02/2017 21:47

I genuinely can't see how your children get any enjoyment out of staying with their grandparents and I think you should ask them. Ask "do you enjoy going?" And if the answer is no then stop.

I used to stay at my Nans house with my male cousin who was 6 months older than me. He got the bedroom and I had the sofa. We weren't even allowed to be in the same room alone, she doted on him and I was made to feel awful. I still resent being made to go and that was 30 years ago and my Nan died 4 years ago.

Bitofacow · 13/02/2017 21:48

I think starting periods at Pils house is going to have bigger obstacles than sharing a room. How many sheets do you get for a period? Ha! Answer me that one!

YellowCrocus · 13/02/2017 21:50

What on earth do people do when they go on holiday? Does everyone book 4 bedroom villas? DS12 and DD5 have their own rooms at home, but share rooms and, if needed beds, whenever we're away. They quite enjoy it. Adolescents are not monsters, no one is at risk.

KurriKurri · 13/02/2017 21:52

Do they count the sheets of paper? Are any allowances made for special circumstances (diarrhoea/periods) ?
They sound utterly insane, and rude because they make their guests uncomfortable.

When my DD was a toddler she went through a phase of dashing up the stairs into the bathroom, throwing a toilet roll down the loo and then shrieking with laughter. Your In laws would have had apoplexy Grin

titchy · 13/02/2017 21:52

Gosh mine are late teens and share when we're on holiday. No way I'm forking out for them to have a single room each. In fact a couple of years ago both hotel rooms were doubles and they had to top and tail....

Original poster
Snugglepalace · 13/02/2017 21:54

When I mentioned to them tonight that dc had a sleepover in Ds's last night, for fun, they were like Shock

OP posts:
Ragdoll545 · 13/02/2017 21:54

I reckon your in laws want the sleepovers to come to an end so they're being intentionally awkward about sleeping arrangements in the hope you stop sending them there!

AskBasil · 13/02/2017 21:55

Bitofacow, yes, they're massively entertaining to read about, but I don't think they'd be massively entertaining in RL.

I wouldn't want to go to their loo for example. Grin

Aeroflotgirl · 13/02/2017 21:56

They are very bad hosts, treating them like this and making yiur dd sleep on the floor, how awful. Yes ask yiur kids if they enjoy going, if they want to continue. Tell them they don't have to if they don't want. If the answer is no, tell in laws that your children don't want to stay over anymore.

Bitofacow · 13/02/2017 21:58

Indeed AskBasil to my shame I am getting a amount of pleasure out of this.Blush However, in my defence, GNAT LARVAE in the buckets, in the bath!!!

HappyFlappy · 13/02/2017 22:00

I MOVED A COAT.

Krist Ketchup You really area unreasonable bitch!

HappyFlappy · 13/02/2017 22:00

*are an

BoomBoomsCousin · 13/02/2017 22:02

I think it's a bit mad rule (less mad than the toilet paper rule, but more damaging).

But some people have had horrid experiences as children and so bring in rules that would have stopped whatever they wish they'd been protected from happening to other children even though the rule they bring in is more of a problem in the general case.

There's probably nothing you can do, other than let your children know it's OK to not go if they don't want to. Have you asked why it's always DD they put in the lounge? I would have thought if she was younger they'd send her up to bed first and then have your DS settle in the lounge later after they'd gone to bed.

EweAreHere · 13/02/2017 22:05

Where is your DH on this madness?

Do they realize they are going to drive their grandchildren away with this craziness?

Swipe left for the next trending thread