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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my in-laws are over reacting?

207 replies

Snugglepalace · 13/02/2017 20:23

My dc (11yr old ds & 8 yr old dd) stay over at my in-laws once a week during the school hols, so that's roughly 10 times a year.
They have a 2 bed house and up till 6 months ago dc slept together in their spare room, however in laws now make dd sleep on the floor in the living room which she hates, she says it's uncomfortable.
So I asked them today if the kids can share the room and they got quite angry with me and said no it's not right at their age!!
AIBU to think that's a bit over the top for a sleep over just 10-12 times a year?

OP posts:
SpaghettiMeatballs · 13/02/2017 20:50

My DD and DS are still small but this saddens me.

Ideally I don't think DCs should share rooms on an ^ongoing basis^ at this age just as I don't think they should share with me.

It makes me really sad to see that this is an issue for the odd night. I like to think my DS would still share a twin hotel room with me or his sister at 11. I don't see that is inappropriate.

diddl · 13/02/2017 20:51

I think it's odd.

Well, if you're daughter's not happy, they'll just have to not go anymore, or one one week, one the next.

EveningShadows · 13/02/2017 20:53

Weird. Our closest friends have a DD and a DS who are 16 & 13 and they share our spare bed when they come to stay. They are both totally comfortable with it.

Crazy GPs!

Original poster
Snugglepalace · 13/02/2017 20:55

I don't think dc are so keen to stay anymore, in laws are very old fashioned with some very outdated ideas (and I won't even go into the toilet roll rules!)

OP posts:
Laiste · 13/02/2017 20:55

Why can't they settle her on the pump up bed in the living room instead of the floor?

And put DS on it next time ect.

They can spout on about their house their rules all they like. They'd be enjoying ''their rules'' on their own though if it meant any of my kids being made to kip on the floor.

MongerTruffle · 13/02/2017 20:56

If he needed to sleep in the living room, surely he should sleep on the sofa, not the floor.

QueenArseClangers · 13/02/2017 20:56

So they're obviously not bothered about 8 year old DD watching post watershed telly (which would be on at that time) but are pearl clutching about sharing a room with her sibling? Hmm

Laiste · 13/02/2017 20:56

Yeah, you reap what your sew OP.

DCs wont want to go round at all soon.

Chippednailvarnishing · 13/02/2017 20:57

I asked dd why she doesn't sleep on sofa but apparently they settle her on the floor whilst they watch TV then leave her there when they go to bed at 10ish

Completely ridiculous. I would be stopping the sleepovers, if only to teach my DD that she is entitled to be treated the same as her brother.

Tizona · 13/02/2017 20:57

Och this makes me sad too. I'd be upset if I was your DD- especially being made to sleep on the floor. I'd be saying to in-laws that either they go back to sharing, a comfortable solution in the lounge is sought and they take turns, or only one visits at a time from now on.

FWIW, there's a 5 year age-gap between me and my wee brother. We weren't super close growing up because of the gap, but we did share on most family holidays - occasionally a double with a pillow barrier due to my cold feet- and actually I remember it as being a really nice time- we'd have late night chats and I got to talk about "little kid" things that I felt I was a bit old to talk to my friends about (Spongebob Squarepants!) and he could tell me about school and friend stuff he didn't really want to talk about to DPs. While we both valued our privacy and fought badly at times, I think that remembering those snippets of closeness has made us all the better friends now we're adults.

Sorry for the digression, all nostalgic for family hols now! goes off to phone brother

NapQueen · 13/02/2017 20:58

Tbh id be calling them on this very frankly.

"Dparents; can I just say you not allowing dd and ds to share a bedroom; you absolute insistance on it, is making me think that they need to be separated overnight for their own safety. Please can you clarify which of my children you do jot trust and why exactly you feel you cannot?"

anotherdayanothersquabble · 13/02/2017 20:58

Making an 8 year old settle on the floor while they carry on watching TV until 10 pm is bonkers. ..

Londonsburningahhhh · 13/02/2017 20:59

Why the floor and not the couch they sound bonkers.

GeorgeTheHamster · 13/02/2017 20:59

You reap what you sow, I'm pretty sure.

woodhill · 13/02/2017 20:59

I think it's ok for them to share when they visit occasionally. I used to share with my Db at grandparents as a teen or on holiday with dps but had own room at home

SnugglyBedSocks · 13/02/2017 20:59

Sounds absolutely miserable for them both. Time for them not to stay over or only one at a time

ShelteredLifeMe · 13/02/2017 21:00

Simple.... Stop them sleeping over

reup · 13/02/2017 21:00

Please please tell us the toilet roll rules!

Northend77 · 13/02/2017 21:01

and I won't even go into the toilet roll rules!

Oh please do!! Got to hear those!!

ShelteredLifeMe · 13/02/2017 21:01

I'd be asking what napqueen has said

Itscurtainsforyou · 13/02/2017 21:02

I really want to hear the toilet roll rules Grin

Musicaltheatremum · 13/02/2017 21:03

When we went on hotel holidays my kids always shared (23 and 21 now)
If fact on our last two holidays all 3 of us shared a room.

NettleTea · 13/02/2017 21:03

me too

GatoradeMeBitch · 13/02/2017 21:05

Stop the sleepovers.

Original poster
Snugglepalace · 13/02/2017 21:05

They wont stay separately because they find it boring there without each other! I do think the sleep overs are on borrowed time tbh. In laws are stuck in their ways don't think I'll be able to change their way of thinking.

OP posts: