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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is bloody lazy 'parenting'

192 replies

Exileinengland1999 · 13/02/2017 19:22

Really pissed off- DP has had the kids at home today for half term. I left for work at 8.15am and everyone was up. It's a beautiful day & sun is shining -DD 4 asked to go to the park as I left. I ring at 12 and they are still at home- kids have been watching tv and playing on a tablet. I ring again at 2pm and they are still at home having just had lunch. DP eventually takes them to the park for 1 hour after constant hassling.
I come home & house is a shit tip- nothing has been done either and I have spent my evening after a day's work hoovering and tidying after the mess DP has made.
Aibu to be pissed off on a number of counts- kids inside all day on screens, house a shit tip. DP has mostly spent the day not moving from one seat looking at his phone according to my DS.
Lazy bloody non- parenting? Aibu?

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 13/02/2017 19:46

Very lazy. It was a beautiful day for the park and IMO days spent indoors all day are likely to end in fights and tears. Bored kids equal mess and grotty behaviour.

Allowing food to be dropped around and failing to clear up before you get in is very lazy and annoying. Do you generally leave all the general housework for him to do after he finishes work if you have a day off?

YANBU.

hmcAsWas · 13/02/2017 19:47

Given that it a lovely bright day - and a bit milder too ...and given that these kind of fair weather days are as rare as hens teeth during February half term, I would have expected dh to take the dc out to make the most of it.

Half term here and I would have liked to have bummed around doing not very much (and would have done just that if it had been grey and miserable out), but the dc and I decided to make the most of the weather and took the dogs for a long walk along the coast (20 miles drive away) which we all enjoyed - skimming stones / watching the dog chase a ball around in the waves etc

Rollonbedtime7pm · 13/02/2017 19:48

Well this was pretty much my day with the 3 DCs so thanks for assuming i'm a lazy parent Hmm

WorraLiberty · 13/02/2017 19:48

Meh! Given the competitive lazy parenting threads on here during weekends and holidays, I don't see anything wrong.

Your child asked to go to the park and she went to the park.

As for the mess, again lots of MNetters believe the DP should come home from work and clean it, as the other one has done the childcare all day.

pictish · 13/02/2017 19:55

I think yabu tbh. Are you his boss? No? Then back off. You didn't have to come in and start cleaning...that was your own choice. They got to the park...and an hour is long enough for anyone.
I'd hate it if dh took it upon himself to decide what I should be doing of a day, for me.

SouthernNorthernGirl · 13/02/2017 19:56

Roll Same here - 3 DC's. We mooched around this morning, got dressed as and when. I let them fend for breakfast themselves and cooked pizza, chips and corn on the cob for their lunch (freezer food)
DD ran around and dropped dolls / clothes / fruit cores everywhere. DS's played their devices, did colouring or read. This afternoon they all played the Wii.
I Spent the day MNetting, played a video game myself and looked through recipe books.
DC spent Saturday doing similar, so I must be the laziest one on here Grin

Lelloteddy · 13/02/2017 19:58

It's the MN way though isn't it? The WOHM parent has to come home and clean the house because being a SAHP is NOT about doing housework?

paxillin · 13/02/2017 19:58

Sounds like my day today.

pictish · 13/02/2017 19:59

We've had a chilled one ourselves today. It's half term and both of us are off this week as well as the kids. They haven't set foot outside all day. I made a pot of soup and an apple crumble but that was all I did.
And so what?

Jenniferb21 · 13/02/2017 20:01

I think being lazy generally isn't okay as one offs. What's mean here is he was or pestered so they weren't enjoying It.

If it were me I would ask him to next time do some activities with them at intervals I.e drawing/ colouring in/ playing a game together / reading especially with your youngest I appreciate your eldest may want to occupy themselves.

I would just ask him to hoover next time and give him some ideas sometimes men need things handed To them. Hand holding.

Flugelpip · 13/02/2017 20:01

I think YABU. It's very hard to motivate all the DCs if one of them wants to go out and the others don't. We had a very similar day here - playing, TV, ipad, got dressed late then lunch. We got out for two hours (and froze because it was a lot colder than it looked in the park). The DCs did some extremely easy maths games for their own amusement and at their own suggestion while I watched and cooed admiringly. Then we snuggled up and watched The Jungle Book. I have not hoovered anything. The house is untidy. DH came in and made me a cup of tea and is now doing bedtime so he gets to see the DCs. I'll tidy the house now while they're out of the way. No one is upset. Everyone had a nice day. I don't know what you were expecting but being out at work is a lot easier than being in with DCs in the holidays at this time of year, even on a sunny day. And if they'd been at the park at 9 they'd have been home an hour or two later anyway.

Jenniferb21 · 13/02/2017 20:01

Sorry generally IS okay

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 13/02/2017 20:03

DD 4 asked at 8 this morning to go to bloody park- she was excited to not be in school. That's what's annoyed me the most

And he took her to the park! Maybe he's got more sense than to just do whatever a 4 year old wants when they pester him constantly, I know I wouldn't reward that kind of behaviour by just giving in.

Surreyblah · 13/02/2017 20:06

Does he WoH and if so what hours does he do? Is there a back story here?

If for example he works long shifts and this was his first day off I would be more sympathetic towards him!

EweAreHere · 13/02/2017 20:07

Why did you hoover and clean up when you got home? Surely the parent that has the day off should be in charge of basic house chores while they're at home?

leccybill · 13/02/2017 20:07

DP was off today with DD. First day of leave since Xmas. I didn't mind that the pair of them slobbed about all day, it's good for you sometimes.
If he's off all week though, he needs to make some plans and get some housework done.

bunnylove99 · 13/02/2017 20:07

YANBU at all. I have had a pretty lazy day off work at home with kids today. I've still managed to tidy, hoover, prepare meals and tidy afterwards and do a bit of washing and ironing. A full day is plenty of time to fit lots in. Your DH has been lazy and inconsiderate. My DH doesnt do much in the house at all, byt I know if I had been at work all day he would have done something nice with the kids and tidied up for me coming in. You need to have words with him!

RocketQueenP · 13/02/2017 20:08

Yanbu x a million

Lazy fuckin shit

MycatsaPirate · 13/02/2017 20:09

We have been out all day because it's the only day this week forecast (and actually got) sunshine. However, DD2 was off on Friday (inset day) and Friday, Saturday and Sunday we all pretty much slobbed about the house doing not a lot at all.

Tomorrow I may attempt some tidying up and do some washing but sometimes you just need some down time.

However, food left all over the floor is downright disgusting and that should have been dealt with. Dishes could be done and a quick hoover round would make a world of difference. Those three things would take a maximum of 30 minutes so no excuses for him not to do it. That's the minimum amount of housework I would do on a 'lazy day',

Fakenewsday · 13/02/2017 20:09

is this about one incident or is he generally lazy? I'm wondering why you rang home so many times in the day to chase him up - one day wouldn't bother me but if it's like this every time he's on daddy duty I can see why you're hacked off. And are you wishing you were there with your DD?

Trifleorbust · 13/02/2017 20:13

It is lazy not to do any housework. It isn't lazy to not go to a particular place. He took them to the park anyway, just in the afternoon. I don't see the harm.

woodhill · 13/02/2017 20:15

Mean when you've been working all day. Sometimes it can be like that.

Did he cook you a meal?

user1484226561 · 13/02/2017 20:16

I'm sure they all had a lovely day.

DP has mostly spent the day not moving from one seat looking at his phone according to my DS

I would consider it in appropriate parenting to be encouraging this sort of conversation with my son though.

Trooperslane · 13/02/2017 20:21

Totally lazy not to clear up the bomb site.

Also if the kids are desperate to go out - lazy too.

Nothing wrong with a lazy day if everyone's in the mood for it.

DD has had the pox the last week and ours looks like a tornado has gone through it because we've been in all week.

Pauline the cleaner come back. Roll on Wednesday--

SouthernNorthernGirl · 13/02/2017 20:23

I have to ask - why did you keep calling?

I would be annoyed if DH called me to check what I was doing with the DC. Also, I don't tend to let them dictate my day and wouldn't be impressed that they felt they could hassle me or anything really.

How did the conversation with your DS come about, that he told you that DH hadn't moved from the chair all day?

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