'Lads holiday 8 weeks after giving birth'

[Beesandbutterflies327]

My boyfriend wants to go away with his mates to a festival (getting wasted and drugged up in a field😡) 6/7 weeks after I've given birth to my (he has another child aged 1) first child, he seems to think this is his right and I could go away but I've 'chosen' to breastfeed therefore it's my fault that I can't go out without the baby, I feel like he's acting like a man with no responsibilities as he says it's my job to look after the baby during the days and the nights and I feel like he's just going to come and help at the easy parts then tell me it's easy and why am I complaining, he chose to have this baby with me so why do I feel like all the responsibility is on me and he can go out doing what ever he likes, when I speak to him about it then he says he can do what he wants and I can't tell him what to do (I never have and never would) he's almost 30 but acting like a 20 year old AIBU should I just let him go? I just feel like when you have kids you have family holidays until your kids are older, we really couldn't afford 2/3 different holidays a year

[Pineappletastic]

I would put a small amount of money on him telling his next victim that you are a 'psycho' who tried to trap him with a baby. Maybe he'll meet her at the festival and then give up drugs for her, once you get over him moving on he can see your kid at weekends and convince her he's an amazing dad.

FFS.

The ex is hardly ever actually 'psycho', she's future you.

[Rugbyplayersarehot]

He sounds not just a twat but a lying manipulating twat op.

Yeuk get rid.

And no adults with a shred of maturity don't get wasted at festivals either. My 17 year old went to Broadmasters and was sober and drug free. He's an idiot.

[DJBaggySmalls]

How about you stop labelling his ex a psycho, since you dont know anything abut her other than what he has told you.

I'm guessing she got rid of him for being a deadbeat absent father.

[duxb]

Sounds like he's spun you a tale about his ex being a "psycho". Why is it always the case in situations like this?

He clearly isn't a good dad if he has that attitude so deeply routed. Also, drugs could kill him but he is quite happy to take them recreationally - potentially leaving two children without a father. Yes, he clearly is a catch!

[Birdsgottaf1y]

X post, ah yes, 'the psycho ex'.

Why should he commit to your child and not go, but not the one year old, did he go out/off much last year?

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

well, if we do that math he left the mum of his 1 year old when she had a new born

are we seeing a theme here OP?

sorry, it can be nice to read when you are so vulnerable with a new born

[Clandestino]

He's normally an amazing dad and partner, he stopped the drugs after getting with me and hardly goes out any more (his choice) of course I knew that he did this before I got with him! I would like to point out that he broke up with his ex before baby was born as she was a bloody psycho and likes to try and trap men with babies (she has another kid to another dad) he has a really good relationship with his child once the ex had stopped being psycho over the fact he'd moved on, this baby was an accident (2 forms of contraception failed) but we both agreed to keep the baby xxx

OMG. This is like a textbook cliche answer for all warning signs. Get rid.

[AyeAmarok]

he broke up with his ex before baby was born as she was a bloody psycho and likes to try and trap men with babies (she has another kid to another dad) he has a really good relationship with his child once the ex had stopped being psycho over the fact he'd moved on

Aye, sure she does, Doll.

It amazing(ly disappointing) how dense some women can be.

[5moreminutes]

Its great its working out ok for you, but I'D guess your ex didn't tell you that looking after the baby was your job day and night, nor get somebody else pregnant a few months after you and he split up...

[5moreminutes]

Sorry that last comment was to ImHavingCheeseFries

[Londonsburningahhhh]

He probably thinks you're trying to control him. Great start to motherhood the first year for any new mother is the toughest. Do you have your mother close by for support?

[nicenewdusters]

If my psycho ex had initially stopped me having a good relationship with my child, when I then got another crack at being a dad what would I do ? Tell my partner she was basically going to have to get on with it, whilst I dipped in and out, and went to festivals to get off my face? No, I wouldn't. Not unless of course I actually was the psycho ex. I should imagine the ex has a very different story to tell.

[Ginkypig]

Just from the little you've said here I can almost guarantee that one day after he has fucked you over and you've had enough of him hel have moveed and got yet another woman pregnant that you will be described to her as his psycho ex.
She'll be saying about you just what your saing now.

[Tigger1986]

Only last week I saw on the news an inquest conclusion where a man had travelled to a festival, took drugs and died, leaving his wife and new baby behind. Fair enough a weekend away but not if you know he will be taking drugs, does he think he's invincible? I feel sorry for you and I hope you are strong enough to do this on your own if history repeats itself.

[PoorYorick]

Well he sounds like a dickhead.

[nonameinspiration]

I'm a massive square too then!

Totally unacceptable find a better boyfriend

[2014newme]

Some women have such low expectations.
It's very depressing. Poor baby with that idiot for a dad. The only thing is xanthine do now is try to make better relationship choices in the future. Dipshit will soon be moved on to the next woman and gave baby number 3 on the way.

[PoorYorick]

He's normally an amazing dad and partner, he stopped the drugs after getting with me and hardly goes out any more (his choice) of course I knew that he did this before I got with him! I would like to point out that he broke up with his ex before baby was born as she was a bloody psycho and likes to try and trap men with babies (she has another kid to another dad) he has a really good relationship with his child once the ex had stopped being psycho over the fact he'd moved on, this baby was an accident (2 forms of contraception failed) but we both agreed to keep the baby xxx

I might have to come off MN before posts like this make me lose my mind.

[StrangeLookingParasite]

Is he under 20? He sounds like it.

[M0stlyBowlingHedgehog]

Ah well, there's none so blind as will not see.

Your choices, OP, are to bail out now, or be abandoned a year or so down the line for baby mama number 3 (who will be all of a flutter at the idea of giving her new man the stability he so desperately needs after not just one, but two "psycho exes"). There is no "happily ever 2.2. children in the suburbs with a stable wage earner who pulls his weight on the childcare and domestic front" option with this one.

OP, you said yourself in your opening post "he says it's my job to look after the baby during the days and the nights and I feel like he's just going to come and help at the easy parts then tell me it's easy and why am I complaining, he chose to have this baby with me so why do I feel like all the responsibility is on me."

Listen to what he's telling you - he intends to do nothing at all to help with the baby when it gets to the difficult, taxing bits of parenthood - it is the truth.

Listen to what your own feelings are telling you - you feel like he's just going to come and help out with the easy parts - they're spot on.

WHEN A MAN TELLS YOU WHAT HE'S LIKE - LISTEN!

[PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon]

Never heard the ex is a psycho line before
He obviously didn't give up drugs when you got together as otherwise you wouldn't assume that he will be doing them at this weekend

[PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon]

Love how you have said about the ex trying to trap men because she has a child with another man AND YET THIS IS THE SAME SITUATION YOUR BF IS IN 😂

[TheCatsMother99]

If I had a £ for every time I heard the 'psycho ex' line.....

[ElderDruid]

I missed the drug taking part.

[StrangeLookingParasite]

More red flags here than a Communist revolution.

Yep.