Ex left DS to go out

[mrtumblesmistress1]

Ex's weekend with DS. I find out tonight he left him to go out drinking. Didn't ask me to swap, didn't tell me, just left him with a relative. His drinking has been a lot lately and one of the main reasons we are not together anymore. I just don't know what to do anymore. AIBU to be fuming about this?

Sorry I also should have said, DS has a urine infection and is on antibiotics. He didn't leave them there. When I went to get him he was still awake, fully clothed and no bag with pjs etc there.

If he was asleep I would of course have left him there. I picked him up about 9pm.

I would have left it until the morning as you have probably made the relative feel like you think they are incapable of looking after your son or you don't trust them.

His lying is out of order though.

Kitty that made me laugh! A cunt is most certainly definitely a cunt!

Sorry did I say cunt? I meant ubercunt.

Oh That's a bit different then sorry for the cross post.

The relative knows why I got him, he had to drop him back to his dad at 8am as she was working - if he was even home at that time...and if he was he'd either he still drunk or completely hungover. Either way not in a fit state to care for a 2 year old.

Ah, fair enough, I thought that was a bit odd!

Does your ex drink to excess a lot then? Might it be worth arranging the majority of his contact to happen through his mother rather than unsupervised? Or is he ok most of the time?

He lives with his mother. That's why I let him have him overnight. Otherwise I would only allow day time due to his drinking but his mum has assured me if she felt he was incapable she'd let me know and I could come pick him up but now I'm not so sure.

Is there a court order for contact?

Where's he left his antibiotics?! Have you got spare?

No Olivia not as of yet but I am considering getting one as if I move home will most probably need one as it's a different country.

Lost - I'm going to pop to the pharmacy in the morning and get some more to last until they're finished

Unfortunately, unless he is putting your child in danger you don't really have a say in how he chooses to parent on his parenting time.

Here we go....

If there is no court order then you don't need to do anything. Just don't allow contact. He has to go and get one if he wants contact. Log everything That consitutes behaviour that indicates he is incapable of caring for DS.

Sorry, scratch that - I didn't read the whole thread.

He's being bloody irresponsible

Hope that's not too big a ball ache. It can be a pain to replace lost prescription meds sometimes.

YANBU at all OP and you did the right thing going to get your son. His father sounds like a complete idiot.

If he can't be bothered to spend 2 nights a month with his son, he definitely won't spend time and money pursuing a court order. Not when he could be in the pub.

He's a joke of a parent OP he really is and to lie and blame you so he can go out drinking it does sound like he has a problem.

I'd stop the overnight stays for now if you can and just let him see DS in the day time,he sounds like he needs to get serious help with his drinking.

Well done for getting your son.

Okay, given more detail, YANBU. He doesn't sound fit to care for a toddler full stop.

Sorry don't mean to drip feed, just don't want to out myself either. Did I mention I'm dealing with a broken ankle too?! Definitely outed myself now!

The fact that the relative had to drop your son at 8am the next morning so she could go to work is way too much coming and going for your 2 year old just to facilitate your ex going out. He just sounds like an inconvenience when he could be at home with you.