To completely ignore this massive hint?

[Nicpem1982]

Do not to drip feed dh and I don't have a close relationship with bil and sil.

We have fundamentally different views of parenting and there was some weirdness around gift giving on our dds bday and Christmas last year.

Not heard from them since Christmas Day again not unusual we generally hear from them at birthdays and Christmas and if we bump into each other at inlaws it's smiling nodding and being polite.

To try and formulate a bond between our dd and dn we've facilitated a few sleepovers at ours and tbh it was bloody awful dn is spiteful, destructive and generally a pain so after the last one we (dh and I) said no more.

Had text today from bil saying "dn would love to come yours to see dds room again as she had lots of fun last time" no hi how are u nothing

Dn is 4.5 and dd is 2.5 so they're not close in age last time she was here she pulled dds pigtails and made her cry, stamped on and broke a toy and ripped up the toy money from dds till. Dh was cooking and I was playing with them but she'd done all of them before I could stop her and then smirked at me after.

Aibu to ignore his text

Dinner - Have u RTFT?

My dd does understand sleep overs and thinks there quite exciting until the last one.

Stick to your guns, OP.

Totally understand why you wouldn't want dn over. Bil needs to go to 'how to take a hint' school doesn't he.

What is RTFT?

all I'm doing is replying to your title thread, giving a little advise and it's up to you what you do but if you can't take the heat when people have opinions then don't post on here. You have put on the thread your daughter gets bullied by this other family member... I'm actually quite surprised you need advise on telling a family member straight! Your child is the most important person in your world but your happy to pussy foot round family members.. Strange! Most abuse comes from family members anyway thinking they can get away with it. Have the DN to stay, Don't have the DN to stay.. Surely the answer is quite clear.

Dinner - perhaps the OP felt your advice was merely criticism. Can't think why.

Goady fucker.

Dinner RTFT is Read The Fucking/Full Thread. When the thread is 400+ messages in, replying to the title without reading anything else is normally going to end up making your comment look asinine.

" if you can't take the heat when people have opinions then don't post on here."

Or you could take your own advice - if you can't bother your arse to READ all the OTHER people's opinions, and in fact the OP's OWN updates, then really you shouldn't bother posting either as your advice is likely to be, at best, outdated, and at worst, completely pointless after 400+ posts.

if you can't take the heat when people have opinions then don't post on here.

Are you kidding? You are the one having a hissy fit here. Not the op.

Dinner if you can't take being told that you should read more than the bloody title, 400 posts in, maybe you shouldn't post on here...

Dinner- it would be better to perhaps read the thread in it's entirety before commenting and offering your advice as unfortunately after 400 posts your advice was somewhat pointless and outdated.

I'm more than happy to take onboard the advice of people on here that is afterall the point of a public forum is it not?

we'd love an update to this one.

New- Christmas was what we expected a bit awkward and really hard work.

Dn loved her presents from us and screeched a lot which made sil scowl a lot. My dd didn't notice that she had been bought considerably less by bil/sil she just smiled and said thank you for my lovely present and then continued to open presents from mil/fil.

Mil noticed and told us to drastically think about what we were spending on dn as it's so one sided.

Thank you Nicpen. I suspect you'll carry on being as generous as you have previously as you do seem to genuinely love your niece .

New- iPads are off the menu tho

Your niece actually sounds very lucky to have you in her life- you sound like a good influence.

Not that that means you should agree to sleepovers to the detriment of your own dd, of course

Ohfour- thank you that's a lovely thing to say.

She can be a handful when we spend time with her but we keep trying we try different activities in an attempt to find something to occupy her that she enjoys we've yet to succeed as she's mostly thoroughly unimpressed with our plans and free play turns into carnage

'Tis true!

Imagine just having that pair as role models- it doesn't bear thinking about how she could turn out

Is there a link to the Christmas thread? I want to read it now.

New puppy mum has linked it a few posts up

Oh four- I suppose when you look at it that way I suppose me and dh could be the "one up from crap" brand in the supermarket 😂😂

Hey, that's the level I function on! Not quite basics, but a long way from finest

😂😂😂