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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To completely ignore this massive hint?

446 replies

Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 12:32

Do not to drip feed dh and I don't have a close relationship with bil and sil.

We have fundamentally different views of parenting and there was some weirdness around gift giving on our dds bday and Christmas last year.

Not heard from them since Christmas Day again not unusual we generally hear from them at birthdays and Christmas and if we bump into each other at inlaws it's smiling nodding and being polite.

To try and formulate a bond between our dd and dn we've facilitated a few sleepovers at ours and tbh it was bloody awful dn is spiteful, destructive and generally a pain so after the last one we (dh and I) said no more.

Had text today from bil saying "dn would love to come yours to see dds room again as she had lots of fun last time" no hi how are u nothing

Dn is 4.5 and dd is 2.5 so they're not close in age last time she was here she pulled dds pigtails and made her cry, stamped on and broke a toy and ripped up the toy money from dds till. Dh was cooking and I was playing with them but she'd done all of them before I could stop her and then smirked at me after.

Aibu to ignore his text

OP posts:
HeeHighls · 10/02/2017 18:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BitchPeas · 10/02/2017 18:46

Shock He has balls of steel I'll give him that.

ohtheholidays · 10/02/2017 18:46

Ha IGNORE,IGNORE,IGNORE your BIL and SIL are TWATS!

Have you told your DH what his Brother has been texting you?

I honestly wouldn't reply to his last text let him continue to tie him self in knots!

Keep repeating to yourself not my Monkeys not my Circus.

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 18:47

He is erm interesting yes.

Not text back yet been getting my dd to bed but I think along the lines of

"im so glad that you want to take the time to get to know your dn :) I hope you get as much out of spending time with our dd as we have with yours. I think the few days of intense interaction that we've had with dn since the summer has really helped to cement our relationship. I hope that you get the same benefit with our dd as unfortunately you've seen so little of her before now, so how about we get our diaries out and plan a play date when we're all free?"

OP posts:
hutchblue · 10/02/2017 18:49

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

LaContessaDiPlump · 10/02/2017 18:51

I think there's a risk he might take the bit after 'unfortunately' as a dig op; would you consider a revision?

'im so glad that you want to take the time to get to know your dn I hope you get as much out of spending time with our dd as we have with yours. I think the days that we've had togther with dn since the summer have really helped to cement our relationship. How about we get our diaries out and plan a play date when we're all free?"

The first line could be read as PA too but I'll let you keep that one Wink

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 18:51

Heehighls - if you could make this up you've got more of an imagination than I have :)

Ohthe- my dh isnt impressed but bil hasn't text him

OP posts:
diddl · 10/02/2017 18:51

"We'll let you know when we can visit"

Is how I'd go tbh.

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 18:54

Lacontessa - I like the revision I'll send that

OP posts:
Ilovecaindingle · 10/02/2017 18:54

Send it quick before you bottle it!!

ohfourfoxache · 10/02/2017 18:54

I think your text is perfect- polite and deliberate

witsender · 10/02/2017 18:55

I would just say "night times are a no go, but if you fancy lunch at the park/play barn or whatever we'd be up for that...Or happy to drop in some time for the kids to play while we have tea?"

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 10/02/2017 18:55

Like diddl I would go back with "How lovely, when shall we visit?"

Bestthingever · 10/02/2017 18:56

I wouldn't send a big long text. Just say 'Let's take the girls out together sometime soon. Let me know when would suit you.' Of course he doesn't actually want the girls to play together, he's after free babysitting, so that should shut him up.

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 18:59

I've sent lacontessas revised version

Hopefully that will be the end

OP posts:
LaContessaDiPlump · 10/02/2017 18:59

Jolly good. Do keep us informed please Grin

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 19:03

I think this is the most my bil has spoken to me!

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 10/02/2017 19:04

Didn't see Contessa's version- I love it Grin

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 19:05

'im so glad that you want to take the time to get to know your dn I hope you get as much out of spending time with our dd as we have with yours. I think the days that we've had togther with dn since the summer have really helped to cement our relationship. How about we get our diaries out and plan a play date when we're all free?"

OP posts:
Chloe84 · 10/02/2017 19:08

I can't tell whether he wants free babysitting or to indulge his dd's wish to play with your dd's toys.

Maybe he thinks you should enjoy his precious darling as much as they do?

diddl · 10/02/2017 19:08

That just sounds so snarky & patronising to me.

Won't he think that you're taking the piss?

Msqueen33 · 10/02/2017 19:09

In the words of Miss Jolly "now bugger off and good day to you".

elodie2000 · 10/02/2017 19:10

You're saying too much to him OP. Last text sounds sarcastic.

DancingPenguin1 · 10/02/2017 19:11

Ah, I wish miss jolly was my neighbour!!

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 19:12

He said "he needs to check with sil before he plans anything"

OP posts:
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