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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To completely ignore this massive hint?

446 replies

Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 12:32

Do not to drip feed dh and I don't have a close relationship with bil and sil.

We have fundamentally different views of parenting and there was some weirdness around gift giving on our dds bday and Christmas last year.

Not heard from them since Christmas Day again not unusual we generally hear from them at birthdays and Christmas and if we bump into each other at inlaws it's smiling nodding and being polite.

To try and formulate a bond between our dd and dn we've facilitated a few sleepovers at ours and tbh it was bloody awful dn is spiteful, destructive and generally a pain so after the last one we (dh and I) said no more.

Had text today from bil saying "dn would love to come yours to see dds room again as she had lots of fun last time" no hi how are u nothing

Dn is 4.5 and dd is 2.5 so they're not close in age last time she was here she pulled dds pigtails and made her cry, stamped on and broke a toy and ripped up the toy money from dds till. Dh was cooking and I was playing with them but she'd done all of them before I could stop her and then smirked at me after.

Aibu to ignore his text

OP posts:
HellonHeels · 10/02/2017 19:56

Bake the cake?! WTF? Tesco sponge cake with some home made simple icing bunged on?

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 19:59

Hell - I bake in my spare time and bake all of dds cakes I made sil baby shower cake, dns christening and first birthday cake.

OP posts:
MakeItRain · 10/02/2017 19:59

Not sure actually. You might just set off another round of requests! Its the sort of thing I'd have fired off to annoy him as I'd obviously have "misunderstood" what he was really after (a babysitter) Grin

ohfourfoxache · 10/02/2017 20:00

Entitled fucker Shock

You might have to be ultra busy before and around her birthday

temporarilyjerry · 10/02/2017 20:00

Well played, Nicpem.

Oddsockspissmeoff · 10/02/2017 20:00

I really couldn't be fucked with this pair of wankers. I wouldn't see them beyond bumping into them at mils.

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 20:01

I dodged the baking of her third and fourth birthday cake as again bil tried to guilt trip me into doing it

OP posts:
QueenArseClangers · 10/02/2017 20:04

And what (if anything) equivilant gift/favour did they do for your DD in return for the lovely cakes?

Sassenach85 · 10/02/2017 20:05

To be honest I've had to deal with in laws like this myself and unless you want a repeat in a few months I reckon you need to be just as rude back.

You have played this one well though def point goes to you! Grin

You are right it is more sensible to stop now. But omg people like that need brought down a peg. What a complete knob he sounds!

Ilovecaindingle · 10/02/2017 20:06

Aren't you charging for your spectacular cakes nowadays?? Cake

MadMags · 10/02/2017 20:07

Don't text back now!

You've played a blinder. Don't over egg the birthday cake... Wink

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 20:07

Queen - nothing. Bil told my dh that he wanted to buy me a bottle of wine as a thanks for baby shower cake (took me 7 hours) I'm still waiting lol

OP posts:
Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 20:08

I'm not texting him back.

OP posts:
HellonHeels · 10/02/2017 20:09

I reckon your cake shop needs to close to further business from him! I'm really shocked at him.

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 20:12

I haven't made dn a cake for a couple of birthdays as I got a million hint texts and couldn't be bothered I won't be indulging him for her 5th birthday.

Now days I only bake for dd and a few well chosen friends

OP posts:
Rachel0Greep · 10/02/2017 20:17

Naw, let him off, don't bother with any more texts.
Tempting though it might be Grin to keep 'misunderstanding'...

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 20:22

Rachel - I haven't sent any more texts

OP posts:
Pigflewpast · 10/02/2017 20:22

Dammit msqueen I was getting excited that was the perfect reply but you beat me Envy

diddl · 10/02/2017 20:26

You could always do a small cake just for your nieceGrin

Well he knows that you're wise to him so the relationship between the girls can be on your terms for a while I should think.

Perhaps he'll drop contact when he realises there's no free childcare in it for him?

gardenrosie · 10/02/2017 20:32

How far away do they live?

How about saying 'I'm afraid the kids didn't get on brilliantly last time so I think we should wait until they are older. If you need a babysitter happy for one of us to come to your house to look after dn, we could swap an evening so you could babysit our dd at our house in return?'

Then you are offering something as well as saying no (and they will prob say no anyway)

OhBigHairyBollocks · 10/02/2017 20:35

Force him to commit. Don't let him get away with it!

bummymummy77 · 10/02/2017 20:38

Bloody hell. What a horrid turd he sounds. Good on you for sticking up for youself!

pictish · 10/02/2017 21:02

I want to know what the gift-giving weirdness, as touched on in the OP, was?

Rachel0Greep · 10/02/2017 21:26

Oh yes, I know you didn't. I would have been tempted though. Grin

picklemepopcorn · 10/02/2017 21:34

Gift giving weirdness...
BIL asked for an iPad for his DD. OP and SiL agreed a more sensible spend. Then SIL informed her she'd got a book worth less than £5 for OPs DD.

OP was wondering whether to give the gift she had intended, or a smaller gift.

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