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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not wanting to give out party bags?

268 replies

surreynotsurrey · 08/02/2017 22:44

Wait, you've been invited to a party, fed, watered, entertained, not had to tidy up or pay for anything AND you expect a party bag?!

OP posts:
JustDanceAddict · 10/02/2017 08:46

Give a bookpeople book for a quid each

Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 09:02

Buster- of course you're welcome to attend my dds next birthday 🎉

Party bags are already sorted actually they unfortunately don't contain prosecco though :(

Notso · 10/02/2017 09:16

They were called loot bags when I was little, I can clearly remember screaming my head off at my own 5th birthday party because I didn't have a Mickey Mouse bag with a Mickey mouse balloon in.

My kids have been to a few parties where the hosts gave out a bun and a balloon to go home with. I don't think those children have become social outcasts as a result.

kierenthecommunity · 10/02/2017 09:37

I love doing party bags. I've had children tell their mums they were the best party bags ever. This makes me disproportionately proud Grin

Last years had a small bubble wand, stickers, a foam glider plane and a bouncy ball along with mini haribo and a flump

Meh to the splitting Book People sets, they're only so many Julia Donaldson books any kid needs Wink

kierenthecommunity · 10/02/2017 09:39

Oh, and a balloon on a stick. Grin what's not to love about a balloon on a stick?

nigelforgotthepassword · 10/02/2017 09:43

I love squashed cake in a party bag when the DD's bring one home.Thats for me then Grin
Exh was in charge of party bags for DD's last birthday (having not done much else towards the party, he wanted to contribute). He had never done the party bags before and ended up spending about 100 quid in Smiggle Shock. I've had to explain to the DD's that a bar that high for party bag contents supplied by me won't ever be reached again...

Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 09:44

My dd would wet herself with delight at a balloon on a stick!

I'd love to do those this year but there's a parrot at the venue that freaks out at the sight of balloons so it's a no unfortunately

BathshebaDarkstone · 10/02/2017 10:47

Buster Smile

BathshebaDarkstone · 10/02/2017 10:53

nigel £100? Shock

DD wanted those little boxes with Minecraft figures in for hers last year, I pointed out that at £4 each that would not be happening! Shock

Madcats · 10/02/2017 11:24

There's a good party venue about 10 miles from us that DD and friends often choose (so parents tend to lift share). Pick-up is an absolute joy because the kids are all too busy demolishing the party bag sweets to make a noise. The drive down with a car full of excited kids is not for the faint-hearted!

Kids are 9-11 (and thankfully there are fewer parties) but lots of parents pop a paperback/annual in a party bag (works out at about £1 each if you get a Book People box set) along with Haribo/fun size bars etc. It's quite fun reading an author you wouldn't normally chose.

F1GI · 10/02/2017 11:33

Buy a load of 4 finger kit kats and give them out to each child at the door in place of a party bag.

BusterGonad · 10/02/2017 11:49

F1GI how imaginative! 😂

Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 11:56

Nigel - it's easy to get carried away with party bags and before you know it you've spent a ludicrous amount I've done it I convince myself it's not "tat" so it's ok to have a slightly bigger budget for them but when I'm putting them together I'm like goodness why have I spent xxx amount

Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 11:58

Mad cats - I like books and have incorporated them into dds party bags both last year (2nd bday) and have bought some for this year that I've managed to theme to the party all of dds friends love books so it's a good call

Clandestino · 10/02/2017 12:06

My DD loves getting them but that's something that lasts exactly 10 minutes. If she were giving out she didn't get any, I'd tell her to stop because they shouldn't be automatic. It's difficult because while I don't get the attraction of a bracelet consisting of hard tiny fake aroma sweets but kids find them totally cool.
On the other side, I've yet to find a party bag with a little hummus pot and a grey bracelet made from recycled plastic. Something's telling me that wouldn't be a hit among most 6 or 7 year olds.
I myself cringe at the idea and to be honest, am myself toying with the idea of suggesting the playcentre organising my DD's next party not to give any. It's all crappy little plastic and gets forgotten easily.

memememum · 10/02/2017 12:17

My DC's were once at a party where there weren't any party bags. The parents had a very new baby so grandma was arranging it. It was fine, when the first kid said "I'm going now, please can I have my party bag?" Gma just said "oh I didn't think of that, well you can take some of the left over things". There were lots of little bags of sweets and little left over prizes not used up in the games.

Astro55 · 10/02/2017 12:31

You've just got such a miserable attitude about it.

The OP asked if she would be unreasonable not to give party bags

What she's getting is a list of people saying what they put in - but why do it?

Do you never question why you do things? Or do them just because it's expected? It's just another area to compete in? Just because a 6 year old who you've entertained for 2 hours might winge on the way home?

Another poster said she can't afford them - but still people list - oh it's only a £X cut back elsewhere!!

Seriously kids can enjoy parties without party bags - it's not the law to provide them

My kids party bags are left lying around unopened or just chucked in the bin - it's just a waste of money

flipflap75 · 10/02/2017 12:34

I loved them as a kid - sweets and tat every time. Doesn't matter rubbish or predictable they are - they're one of those fab childhood traditions.

Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 12:36

Astro - we do it because we enjoy it and the children like them and we budget it with our party.

I don't think the op is bu as it's a personal choice and if people can't afford to or don't want to them they shouldn't feel pressured to do so.

Either is fine.

wingingitmomma · 10/02/2017 12:54

I'm not gonna lie.. as a kid I would of been inwardly very disappointed to not receive a bastard bag.

BusterGonad · 10/02/2017 14:18

Astro it's fine either way but it's just that you sound a bit peeved that kids love them, of course kids love them, my son plays with his party bag toys all the time, he loves the mazes with the steel ball and is forever playing with the bouncy balls. I suppose some kids are not grateful but my son is always grateful and polite and enjoys everything in them for longer than 5 minutes. I don't mind entertaining for 2 hours and then giving a party bag as a goodbye present and I certainly don't get competitive about it. What's there to be competitive about? Most kids wouldn't have a clue if the toys were 10p or £2.

Underparmummy · 10/02/2017 14:19

Wow. Doesn't have to be much but something (sweets, crayons, anything) is kinda nice really.

pollymere · 10/02/2017 17:06

We ended a party recently with singing happy birthday, and cutting of cake. We then had slices of cake on napkins on a tray by the exit where we stood and gave out cake as people left. No party bags, lots of thank yours and so far no one has backlash with horror over the lack of party bags. We even had sacks of balloons at the end as the kids didn't even take them! They seemed fine with just the cake.

Lifeonthefarm · 10/02/2017 17:29

I don't get Party bags.
It's not your birthday. Why do you get something. Weird.

120172zanib · 10/02/2017 17:43

I don't like the idea of party bags but it's a long standing tradition unfortunately hence will put up with it for the sake of the kids!!😟

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