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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not wanting to give out party bags?

268 replies

surreynotsurrey · 08/02/2017 22:44

Wait, you've been invited to a party, fed, watered, entertained, not had to tidy up or pay for anything AND you expect a party bag?!

OP posts:
TwinkleTwinkleLittleBat · 08/02/2017 23:44

I loved doing party bags and dc always liked them too. It amuses me how some people on mn get so steamed up about them Grin

SpringerS · 08/02/2017 23:45

I don't do party bags but I do have some sort of party gift for all the kids. DS had a superhero themed part for his last birthday so I bought a joblot of felt superhero masks/Wonder Woman tiaras and gave one to each child to take home. They aren't a fuck off and go home thing though as I actually like my kid's friends and my friend's kids. We have 60ish guests and I love hosting them.

Only1scoop · 08/02/2017 23:45

Also love doing em

DoubleR · 08/02/2017 23:49

I don't do party bags anymore, instead I get one large thing for each child, so far it's been books the next year it was a puzzle then a doll, wrap them like presents and give them with a piece of the cake at the end. Now loads of other parents are doing the same, it's way better to get one decent thing you can keep rather than a load of plastic tat choking hazards you have to secretly throw away.

amprev · 08/02/2017 23:52

I'm loving how Party bags have so far been referred to as 'bastard bags' and 'fuck off bags' Grin

I'm not that keen on the idea of giving a book - I don't think it's necessarily in the spirit of a party - I always prepare bags of sweets and tat, although I do try and pick stuff that I know won't instantly be binned when the child gets home. So, no to bubbles (we literally have a dozen in a drawer, so it might just be me that is sick of them), but yes to pencils/rubbers/yo yo's.

Fuck off bags. Grin

Emma8729 · 09/02/2017 00:02

ElphabaTheGreen

Wow!! Not only to your child reacting in such a way but yourself too to behave that it nearly got you on the phone to tell them 'YOU FUCKING STARTED THIS, YOU CAN DEAL WITH IT!'

Can obviously see where your child gets their manners and lack of respect. They just attended a party and had lots of fun with their friends and expects a party bag...it's not their Birthday.

If (not that they EVER would) my child acted in such a manner...they would have a stern talking too and told to not be so bloody ungrateful.

OP - Definitely no need for party bags imo :)

WorraLiberty · 09/02/2017 00:10

Also loving the fuck off and bastard bags!! Grin

I'm seriously thinking of starting a new business supplying them. Gifts will include...

Pencil sharpener in the shape of two fingers

Balloon with the words 'Always the last to leave'

Badge with the child's emergency details so you can leave them outside the venue and fuck off home, when they're not picked up on time.

Alphabet sweets that spell out, "No, your kid does not prefer tofu"

Grin Cake

IMissGrannyW · 09/02/2017 00:10

I've stopped doing them now (my DCs are 8 & 10) but did do them for years. They cost about £1 each - the kids don't care what's in them, it's just exciting, even if they are full of tat!!

So why did you stop doing them MsVestibule, when it gives so much pleasure for so little pain?

BeIIatrixLeStrange · 09/02/2017 00:15

Emma8729 Wow, you turned an obvious joke into an excuse to have a dig at a strangers child - and to pop yourself on to a self imposed pedestal.

Every word you type says so much about the type of person YOU are. No sense of humour, quick to judge neither of which are attractive qualities

Great post!

BeIIatrixLeStrange · 09/02/2017 00:17

Ref the OP, I think yes, they only cost about a quid each and are a bit of a treat, why not?

Only1scoop · 09/02/2017 00:23

WorraGrin

soupmaker · 09/02/2017 00:25

I love organising party bags. I've done little wooden spinning tops, bendy pencils, wooden whistles, novelty rubbers, along with little milky ways and a lolly. All contained in a candy stripped paper bag. Lovely. I'm rubbish at loads of stuff but even my own DC think my bags are top notch.

Emma8729 · 09/02/2017 00:45

BellatixLeStrange

I wasn't the only one to pick up on posters reply. So obviously wasn't the only one to assume it was an obvious joke...and if was why not put party bags not needed.

It's not like children's parties used to be these days....round the house/local hall party food and bags..small cost.

OP didn't mention whether it would be a different sort of party where costs were high...food Inc? Ect so for that little £1 bag per child may be not within budget.

I took a dig as you say at her child other for their manners if that's how she was portraying them to be as no child should be like that....if as you say a joke then my comments wouldn't matter anyway as I'm obviously not insulting her child if she meant in jest.

Self imposed pedestal...quick to judge...no sense of humor. Wow now who's being judgemental off a single post of mine...Kettle calling pot black.

Far from any of these things thank you :)

SoupDragon · 09/02/2017 07:34

if as you say a joke then my comments wouldn't matter anyway as I'm obviously not insulting her child if she meant in jest.

Insulting someone after a misunderstanding on your part is still insulting them.

SoupDragon · 09/02/2017 07:36

They aren't a fuck off and go home thing though as I actually like my kid's friends and my friend's kids.

So do I but by the end of a party I'm knackered and want them to all go home!

WhirlwindHugs · 09/02/2017 07:40

I like doing them too. There's sonething nice about sorting and sharing out the contents. (I know that's a bit weird!)

We go mostly sweets plus as non-tatish a toy as I can find in budget. Just made up a bunch of hedgehog themed ones.

RedBugMug · 09/02/2017 07:47

my dc's party guests have to work for their bag.
we usually do a treasure hunt at the end of the party. we use plain paper bags and inside is a little notebook & pen or a key chain or something else semi-useful.
then they grab something leftover from the table and out the door they get pushed go.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/02/2017 07:49

Dd(8). Thinks they're a must. Last year sweetie cone, one of those mask things on a stick (loads for a few quid and can get your dc to put them together) and a bit of cake. They also made crowns and pirate masks to take home. These were left over from her 4th birthday party and I bought a few more stick on gems.

Funnyface1 · 09/02/2017 08:05

You might not want to give one but if they're small they do expect it and it's usually the best way of signaling the end of the party. If you don't want to and have another way of bringing the party to a close then go with it.

BeyondThePage · 09/02/2017 08:48

gooooooooooey chocolate birthday cake wrapped in a paper napkin, stuffed in a bag with a freddo frog is the usual offering round here.

Not been to a "posh" book/themed/sweetie cone one....

Confuseddotocm · 09/02/2017 08:53

They're unnecessary. Give them a piec of cake and a cue to leave.

BusterGonad · 09/02/2017 09:01

Elphaba just give the bastard bags! I'm with you on that one!
Emma Crikey it's only a joke, your a bit uptight aren't you? I would give you a party bag with a sense of humor inside!

londonrach · 09/02/2017 09:06

Cant wait to start doing them. They important part of childhood. In fact upstairs i still have a plastic snake (one of those you hold by the tail and it bends back and forth) i got in a bag. Kept 30 years and now my dc can enjoy.

ElphabaTheGreen · 09/02/2017 09:22

Astro and Emma

DS1 is FOUR YEARS OLD. As he's in Reception, he's probably been to about 15 parties in the past five months, every one of which has had party bags. If your saintly, perfect children put up no protest whatsoever at that age at a sudden change in what has become routine, I'll sit here and polish some 'Perfect Mother' badges for you while you expound on your impeccable parenting strategies. OR, more likely, I could call bullshit.

What's more, darling Emma, I wrote what I WANTED to say, not what I ACTUALLY said, which was informing DS1 that not all parties have party bags, and that if he didn't stop whinging we wouldn't be taking him to any more parties, which shut him up promptly.

HolesinTheSoles · 09/02/2017 09:24

YANBU. Some mums obviously spend loads on party bags and most of it just gets chucked (or eaten by me - my DC have just gorged on cake, crisps and chocolate they don't need more to take home!). It is a good way of chucking people out thought - maybe just do a slice of birthday cake in a bit of kitchen roll?

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