AIBU not wanting to give out party bags?

[surreynotsurrey]

Wait, you've been invited to a party, fed, watered, entertained, not had to tidy up or pay for anything AND you expect a party bag?!

[BabychamSocialist]

My lads are older now but in the days of them going to parties with party bags, it was a slice of birthday cake (wrapped up in a serviette, obviously.), sweets of some kind and a bit of cheap tat like a bouncy ball or a whistle.

Don't know why, but they always loved them. Kids are weird like that - they endlessly surprise you with the shit they enjoy. Like when you spend hours putting together a huge climbing frame for them but they're more interested in playing with the cardboard box speaking from personal experience there.

[BabychamSocialist]

I love party bags. They're handy for picking up dog shit.

Plus, party bags are the universal sign of "Right, everybody get out of my house!"

[Crunchyside]

RaqsMax If you read a few posts pack another poster mentions party bags being a thing in the 70s and I certainly remember getting a party bag at every party I went to as a 90s child. So that's at least 50 years of party bags... How many decades does something have to be done for before you'll accept it's a tradition?

[BathshebaDarkstone]

Carefully when I read out your NN to DD 9, she said "what?"

[RaqsMax]

No. I absolutely side with you on this one. NEVER did them for my kids parties. Parties are expensive enough without having to add a bag of sweets and tat to costs. The kids get enough sugar and rubbish with biscuits/cake, etc. I have been at parties where I have seen children check through the loot, curl their lip and throw them in the bin on the way out. Complete waste of money.... Another bit of adopted Americana that has NOTHING to do with British traditions. They should get a bit of cake in a napkin to take home.

You go to a party to celebrate the birthday child, NOT to receive a gift yourself.

If your kids whinge because they don't get a party bag, manage their expectations. Explain that not all people give them out at parties, and that they are there to help the birthday kid celebrate and not to be grabby. Manners!

[Nicpem1982]

Carefully - why wonderful?

[CarefullyAirbrushedPotato]

I think it's bloody wonderful when there's no party bag. YANBU

[BathshebaDarkstone]

I think the bouncy balls and puzzle erasers are slightly better quality tat!

[Bicnod]

Trouble is the kids love the tat. I always do party bags. To us it's tat, to them it's treasure.

[cherrypie11]

YANBU- your kid's party- your decision on whether you do party bags or not. I personally like the idea of party bags but I grew up in the early 80s when party bags meant a slice of cake wrapped in a serviette with cheap sweets and a small inexpensive toy like a novelty eraser, notebook, pencil or keyring. I have heard these days of some really expensive party bag gifts being handed out today at kids' parties. For many people they would be out of budget. Also, depending on whether the party host is on a low income even a cheap party bag might be beyond budget. That is why OP shouldn't feel pressured either way- we don't know her circumstances

[BathshebaDarkstone]

We never had party bags when I was a kid, a balloon and a slice of cake wrapped in a napkin, that was in the 70s, then when DS1 and DD1 were kids in the 90s, party bags were a thing. I don't know how they started.

[Astro55]

O thought the idea of party bags was to reciprocate the present.

I was wondering if it was a doggy bag idea to start with - taking left over food? Then morphed into extras?

[BathshebaDarkstone]

It was.

[Littlecaf]

DS is 2 this week. We've been to various large 2 year old birthday parties this year (local hall/soft play/animal hire) and they were fun for the kids but nightmare for parents. Plus they are 2, they don't get it or realise yet what it all means and expensive .

We're having 6 mates over for a play date with cake.

I'm putting off proper birthday parties (and therefore party bags) for as long as possible.

Maybe til he's at school.

[Nicpem1982]

Bath - that sounds lovely

[BathshebaDarkstone]

It was! We hired the mezzanine area of the Sainsbury's café for free, decorated ourselves, they had café kids' meals and birthday cake, basically did what they wanted after eating (apparently 9's too old for party games ), went home with party bags and balloons. I think DD wants to do it again next year, she'll share it with DS1 whether my aunt likes it or not. She wants to.

[mogloveseggs]

I love sainsbury birthday cakes! misses point of thread by a mile!

[Nicpem1982]

Bath- bet it was a fab party though 😁

[BathshebaDarkstone]

Nicpem my aunt only gave me £100 for the whole party! The birthday cake was off the shelf from Sainsbury's for a tenner.

[Nicpem1982]

5more- it's not just the children who have cake here. Grandparents, neighbors , friends etc all expect a slice so it needs to go around my dds are normally quite large (2 tiers) and would be distributed and gone with in a day or two.

Like I said I make my own so don't spend £140 on cake.

[5moreminutes]

Nicpem that'd be £140 just on cake, which is insane for a primary aged child's party.

I never spend more than that on the entire party, including cake and party bags :o I'm quite sure small children don't appreciate £80 cakes and £1.50 cupcakes in proportion to the price, but I'm not surprised people baulk at doing party bags if they invite that many guests (what small child has 40 best mates?) and spend that much just on baked goods!

[Nicpem1982]

5more- I bake my own but around here for a cake for 35-40 people about £70-80 and coordinating cupcakes are about £1.50 each

[UsedToBeAPaxmanFan]

When my ds was 8 his birthday coincided with the football World Cup, so he had a football themed party (ie dh took them.to the rec and played footie with them ).

Instead of party bags, I bought "England football" mugs in Tesco which were something like 50p each and filled them with pickNmix. The party goers were ecstatic.

DS is now 18 and occasionally one of his friends who was at that party tells me they are still using the party mug. At least one of his friends took his off to uni last September!

[mmgirish]

I don't give out party bags. It honestly never occurred to me really until my eldest started coming home with party bags full of aliexpress crap himself. I don't really want to start giving them out now.

Where I live, and in my social circle, parents come to parties too so it ends up being quite expensive with beer and wine etc.

I didn't receive any party bags when I was young, we were sent home with a piece of cake wrapped in a bit of kitchen roll.

[5moreminutes]

How much would a birthday cake and matching themed cupcakes ordered bespoke from a bakery cost I wonder? An awful lot more than it is necessary to spend all in on a thoroughly enjoyable small child's birthday party at home with party bags I'd wager...