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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not wanting to give out party bags?

268 replies

surreynotsurrey · 08/02/2017 22:44

Wait, you've been invited to a party, fed, watered, entertained, not had to tidy up or pay for anything AND you expect a party bag?!

OP posts:
Sparklycurtainpole · 10/02/2017 20:25

My six year old had a disco party and everyone got one of those daft inflatable guitars or microphones (80p off ebay) and a pair of giant glo glasses. They blinkin loved it! Oh, and a cupcake in a little carry box too. Personally I can't stand squidged up slices of cake wrapped in a napkin which is all blurry from dye and wet icing (everyone has one 'boak' thing and this is mine 😳) so I give out individual cupcakes instead. My mate is an amazing baker and themes them to the party,

Superwomaninmysparetime · 10/02/2017 20:29

It's up to you.. but we have given books, sweetie cones and small miniture barbie dolls before, more
Recently with older children it's been Clare's accessories lop gloss and nail polish each split from multi packs.. all a £1 per child or under. I think same. It's time to leave.. bye bye!! one party we went to did decorated lollipop cakes as the party bag.

Deidre21 · 10/02/2017 20:46

I wouldn't be offended if my child didn't receive a party bag at the end if it. You could cut the cake and wrap that and let that be the cue to leave? In party bags, I've not given items that wouldn't be of use, I've given nice hair accessories and sweets which went down very well. I'd rather not receive a bag if it's just filled with nonsense and in any case my child doesn't eat (her choice) the sweets in the bags it either gets fed to her dad or passed on when other kids come over.

Maireadplastic · 10/02/2017 20:52

And as for Pass the Parcel, forfeits in each layer, present at the end.

masterchef98 · 10/02/2017 22:19

I've been to parties with (all manner of) and some without party bags. I'm with all the grabbyness of expecting them but reading this has made me think, the kids just don't want to leave a party and a party bag softens the blow, as does a piece of cake in a napkin, a balloon or a mini packet of Smarties. I've used these as 'party bags' sometimes and also been known to hand them out at the end of a play date if a kid is upset about leaving.

OhGodWhatTheHellNow · 10/02/2017 23:23

I have a friend who is quite sanctimonious about binning the party bags as soon as she gets home. Her DS is horrible, maybe he needs more tat in his life.

Bananamama1213 · 11/02/2017 00:44

My sons party was last week. I spent £25 on sweetie cones... and then ended up forgetting to take them to the party! I did explain to the parents there and took them to school the next day.

I don't see the point in party bags because it's usually just cheap tat anyways. I love the idea of a book though!

NerrSnerr · 11/02/2017 00:53

My 2 year old went to her first proper party in October. She still has the party bag with three toys in it (a pencil with rubber on, a small plastic car and a little picture book). Most days she will pick up her bag and announces she is going to work.

hoddtastic · 11/02/2017 01:00

I hate receiving them (more pointless shit to be got rid of) and don't do them- mini bag of haribo, slice of cake in a serviette- BYE BYE

Bahh · 11/02/2017 01:19

NerrSnerr that is so cute it's almost painful.

I think they're lovely. I loved getting them as a child and as an adult I love putting them together and seeing grateful excited little faces as I hand them out. One of life's teeny tiny pleasures.

AnOpenBook · 11/02/2017 07:18

l hate the tat in party bags -still finding it years later from parties my 17-yo went to in primary School !
Never had the guts to not do them - kids feel entitled and whinge if they don't get them
(had enough problems with kids whinging about no ham in sandwiches (we're vegetarian))
I tried to make them less full of rubbish (one year l put a mini pack of cards and made a flyer with our 4 favourite games) or put useful things in eg rubbers And pencils

angeldelightedme · 11/02/2017 07:34

O thought the idea of party bags was to reciprocate the present.
I think a party bag containing a packet of seeds or a book would just be so disappointing to a child and make you kook Luke a tryhard

MrsPoldark · 11/02/2017 10:27

Always did party bags for usually sweets & 1 or 2 useful things e.g. Notebook & pencil & tried to stay away from plastic tat. Threw an impromptu party for DD1 when she passed her karate black belt aged 10. Basically sent group text to her friends parents, inviting all over, nipped out for trolley full of party food, booze for adults, never gave party bags a thought. Until everyone was heading home & 1 of her friends was stood in our hallway having a tantrum worthy of a 2yo stating she wasn't leaving as she hadn't got her party bag. Her mum was flapping ineffectually saying have you got something you can give her? Eh....NO!

manicmij · 11/02/2017 13:33

Would stop these dreadful party bags. Either full of sweets or junk toys or both, complete waste of money. Why does a child need a "thank you" for attending a party in the first place. What happens at adult parties in your world, do the hosts hand out bottles of wine, bunches of flowers, boxes of chocs when you leave. The gift is being invited in the first place.

manicmij · 11/02/2017 13:38

And if you didn't have a friend who is a fantastic baker making themed cupcakes???

Nicpem1982 · 11/02/2017 13:54

Angel- I like unusual party bags more than the standard bubbles etc I think a seed pack is a great idea we've had pre weighed cookie ingredients in a cone and a cutter before now

Nicpem1982 · 11/02/2017 13:55

Mani- the bakery where you order the birthday cake from would probably do a range of themed cupcakes.

5moreminutes · 11/02/2017 14:57

The bakery where you order the birthday cake Grin as if that's just a totally standard and normal given Nicpem Confused... Chocolate sponge traybake iced and decorated with small toys every time here, guess I've done upwards of 25 or so by now - eaten at the party, no cupcakes, no cake in the party bag either.

Cupcakes aren't actually very nice except to look at anyway - fairy cakes and muffins are but cupcakes usually have far too much sickly icing and are made to be looked at and admired rather than eaten.

5moreminutes · 11/02/2017 14:59

How much would a birthday cake and matching themed cupcakes ordered bespoke from a bakery cost I wonder? An awful lot more than it is necessary to spend all in on a thoroughly enjoyable small child's birthday party at home with party bags I'd wager...

mmgirish · 11/02/2017 15:01

I don't give out party bags. It honestly never occurred to me really until my eldest started coming home with party bags full of aliexpress crap himself. I don't really want to start giving them out now.

Where I live, and in my social circle, parents come to parties too so it ends up being quite expensive with beer and wine etc.

I didn't receive any party bags when I was young, we were sent home with a piece of cake wrapped in a bit of kitchen roll.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 11/02/2017 15:10

When my ds was 8 his birthday coincided with the football World Cup, so he had a football themed party (ie dh took them.to the rec and played footie with them Grin).

Instead of party bags, I bought "England football" mugs in Tesco which were something like 50p each and filled them with pickNmix. The party goers were ecstatic.

DS is now 18 and occasionally one of his friends who was at that party tells me they are still using the party mug. At least one of his friends took his off to uni last September!

Nicpem1982 · 11/02/2017 15:42

5more- I bake my own but around here for a cake for 35-40 people about £70-80 and coordinating cupcakes are about £1.50 each

5moreminutes · 11/02/2017 15:53

Nicpem that'd be £140 just on cake, which is insane for a primary aged child's party.

I never spend more than that on the entire party, including cake and party bags :o I'm quite sure small children don't appreciate £80 cakes and £1.50 cupcakes in proportion to the price, but I'm not surprised people baulk at doing party bags if they invite that many guests (what small child has 40 best mates?) and spend that much just on baked goods!

Nicpem1982 · 11/02/2017 16:00

5more- it's not just the children who have cake here. Grandparents, neighbors , friends etc all expect a slice so it needs to go around my dds are normally quite large (2 tiers) and would be distributed and gone with in a day or two.

Like I said I make my own so don't spend £140 on cake.

BathshebaDarkstone · 12/02/2017 08:39

Nicpem my aunt only gave me £100 for the whole party! The birthday cake was off the shelf from Sainsbury's for a tenner.