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AIBU?

AIBU not wanting to give out party bags?

268 replies

surreynotsurrey · 08/02/2017 22:44

Wait, you've been invited to a party, fed, watered, entertained, not had to tidy up or pay for anything AND you expect a party bag?!

OP posts:

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BigBangTheory789 · 09/02/2017 18:17

I can understand where you're coming from. I recently gave some out for my DS's birthday and we were dropping one of his classmates home at the end. The boy opened it and dissected everything in it and basically said it was crap, I don't know what they're expecting in them these days??? Ungrateful little shit came to mind...

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Nicpem1982 · 09/02/2017 18:19

Big Bang- that's not the party bags fault that's the parents fault, what a rude child

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DementedUnicorn · 09/02/2017 18:23

I had no idea party bags could cause so much controversy

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Astro55 · 09/02/2017 18:25

Funny how the kids love them soooo much that the parents recycle them for the next party -

Bit like the school fate!!

It's all tat - land fill - waste of money

If it's such a commitment to go to a friends birthday - (to wish them well and socialise - have fun and a feed AND then be disappointed not to get a party bag .... talk about losing the plot!!

Just because you like making them and giving them out - doesn't mean you can't think about why your doing it.

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Nicpem1982 · 09/02/2017 18:30

Astro is it a commitment our diary gets full with work dds classes and family obligations things get juggled around when invited turn up so yeah it can be a commitment and faff but we do it because our dd likes parties and seeing her friends.

Party bags are a nice gesture no one mentioned being disappointed or losing the plot

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Astro55 · 09/02/2017 18:40

Quite a few ha be said they'd be disappointed if they didn't get a party bag - that it's 'expected' that the kids would winge - the kids would be upset - that the OP is a miserable host - all sounds rather shallow

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Nicpem1982 · 09/02/2017 18:43

Astro that's a valid point I didn't think about the children being disappointed for not receiving one I just thought they were being ungreatful! Apologies for that.

I don't think the host is miserable party bags are liked but not compulsory

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Oly5 · 09/02/2017 18:48

Of course you give party bags. You sound miserable. If you're that miserable then don't have a party.
Kids LOVE party bags

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BusterGonad · 09/02/2017 18:49

Nicepem can I please come to your daughters next party!
I can't understand how people still have treats left over from Halloween, I'd have eaten them myself or shared them to my son and husband! Also the recycling of party bag fodder is a bit off, doesn't your child miss their tatt? Mine certainly would and would be very upset if I stole it to be frugal!

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Waterfeature · 09/02/2017 18:51

Haven't RTFT, but do a craft, send them home with that. Job done, solid.

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JugglingFromHereToThere · 09/02/2017 19:07

I think it's a bit pathetic if the party goers and their parents can't cope with a bit of variety in the way people do parties (though I know younger children can throw a tantrum over the smallest things)

But everyone else should be able to show a bit of flexibility and the good manners not to expect them.

We did them for the middle years, say 4 to 10ish, then after that sometimes it was cake and a balloon. I liked giving books from a job lot too - a bit easier than those fiddly bits and pieces.

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Hadalifeonce · 09/02/2017 19:14

I used to put a slice of birthday cake in a party bag, with a balloon, People actually thanked me for not giving out a bag full of tat.

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/02/2017 19:14

@WorraLiberty - when will you be on Dragons' Den with the Fuck Off and Bastard bags?

Not relevant to the thread, but when my boys were younger, I often thought that McDonalds should do a Grumpy Meal for the parents, to go with the Happy Meals for the children. Instead of the plastic tat toy, they could put in a miniature of gin or a couple of Valium!

I have to admit that, after a few parties where I put toys or some other plastic tat in the party bags, I resorted to a selection of whatever sweets were on special offer at Poundland - flying saucers, smarties, toffees, little bags of haribo, Space dust etc - it was far easier.

I did try - just the once - giving a craft set instead of the party bags. I told the children that the sets were instead of party bags, and one little girl,handed hers back and said she'd like a party bag instead - I had to explain that I had just got the craft sets, and didn't have some spare party bags tucked away in case. I learned my lesson and went back to sweets and a bit of cake - they always seemed popular!

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PonderingButterfly · 09/02/2017 19:18

Party bags all the way.

I grew up leaving every party with a party bag. It was like a sin if you didn't have one. It would ruin a whole party, no matter how much cake/sweets/bouncy castles or games. If their was no party bag then I'd probably cry all the way home and never talk to the child again...hahhaha!

My kids love receiving them and giving them. If you can financially, then go for it. These days I try to jazz up their party bags and put awesome stuff. I always think to myself 'I would have loved these in my party bag'.I'm reliving my party bag days through my kids.

For me its like a tradition. Do what's best for you.Don't do it because you have to or feel pressured to or because all the other parents are doing it.

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Astro55 · 09/02/2017 19:19

I learned my lesson and went back to sweets and a bit of cake

Nothing like adults being dictated to by 6 year olds

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JugglingMuggle · 09/02/2017 19:26

I totally LOVE doing party bags. I don't do tat - I usually do a themed toy or useful item or model- sourced months in advance so I get them super cheap, plus a lolly, plus a homemade cupcake in an individual cupcake holder to keep it from getting squished. Plain paper bags. £1.50 total per child. I love sorting it all out and my kids get excited about giving them at the end of the party. It's not compulsory but I enjoy it.

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/02/2017 19:27

Oh don't be so silly, Astro55 - I was being lighthearted. I tried something instead of party bags, it didn't work as well as bags of sweets, so I went back to the sweets. Don't be so bloody po-faced.

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LieInsAreExtinct · 09/02/2017 19:34

Party bags are not a tradition... Like trick or treat and baby showers and Father's day they have come across in the last 10 - 30 years. We used to have a balloon to take home, maybe. Cake was always eaten at the party. I did do party bags from about 3 - 10 for my DC. Packets of seeds, drawing stuff, a few sweets, a balloon (those screeching rocket ones were good). Never went for the plastic tat.

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bumsexatthebingo · 09/02/2017 19:38

Kids tend to love the 'tat' though. Hence parents having to hide it to throw away. Not sure how it becomes better for the environment if it's sent to landfill without even being played with.

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5moreminutes · 09/02/2017 19:41

Yawn Liein - you didn't have them growing up, that doesn't mean nobody did. I remember being in charge of them for my little sister's parties and she's now pushing 40...

And trick or treat originates with Scottish guising and I also remember Halloween parties and trick or treating in northern England in the 80s.

A tradition doesn't have to go back hundreds of years (though trick or treating goes back that long) - a family can have a tradition personal to them that becomes a tradition over the course of only a few years.

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FeeLock28 · 09/02/2017 19:45

Party bags are a fantastic weapon of mass disruption at the end of a party if one child refuses to leave and parents/carers are unwilling to cause a fuss. I made my own party bags with a couple of sheets of old wrapping paper, a couple of toys, sweets, and a game of some sort or a book (we wuz very poor!), then made a big production of adding a slice of birthday cake just as they were all about to leave. Never failed.

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Serenitymummy · 09/02/2017 19:54

Slice of cake wrapped up can be your 'sod off' hint, esp if you stand at the door and shout for the kids to come get it (whispers) on your way out!!

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GwenStaceyRocks · 09/02/2017 19:54

JugglingMuggle I love them too

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eleven59 · 09/02/2017 20:00

We gave out sweets in a biodegradable bag at the last party

Were the sweet wrappers biodegradable?

Who said anything about sweet wrappers?

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Tryingtobegood10 · 09/02/2017 20:09

Ohhhh I adore doing party bags and spend weeks on eBay finding 10 for a pound slinkies and bracelets and rubbers lol yup tat tat tat!!! I think it's a bit of a copy out to do sweetie cones lol but that's just my opinion!!! I'm actually not going to do them this year as my 5 year old wants a "build a bear" party so I'm going with the thought that the bear each child gets is their party bag lol buuuuut I will probably cave in and do some sort of bag as well