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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not wanting to give out party bags?

268 replies

surreynotsurrey · 08/02/2017 22:44

Wait, you've been invited to a party, fed, watered, entertained, not had to tidy up or pay for anything AND you expect a party bag?!

OP posts:
oklumberjack · 09/02/2017 12:40

My dcs are too old now for partybags but I used to love them. I loved doing and the kids loved receiving them.

We normally did cake, balloon, Freddie bar etc and something relevant to the 'theme' of the party if there was one.

Best ones ever were when I got a good deal on some inflatable microphones. Also, when they got older and invite number reduced a lot I did blind Lego bags. Great fun opening and swapping before everyone fucked off home.

I guess now some people judge children expecting (naturally, because that's what has normally happened in their short experience of parties so far) as grabby little monsters who have no manners. Ah well. I'll break it to my tweens when they come home.

BrieAndChilli · 09/02/2017 12:40

They are useful for making kids go home, when my kids go to parties they never want to leave so I say to them get your coat and shoes on then you can have the party bag!

I am one of 'those' mothers though that themselves the bag to the party and spend ages turning coloured paper bags into Lego bricks with names in Lego font on them, or glueing snowflake fabrics to the front to become else's dress! The sweets and cake pops/cookies and toys inside are also themed to the party theme!!!

oklumberjack · 09/02/2017 12:41

*Freddo nor Freddie.

bonbonours · 09/02/2017 12:43

Ruby I also serve the cake at the party that way only people who will eat it get some and it doesn't end up tasting of napkin. I make my own cakes at great personal time expense so don't want it wasted.

When mine were little and going to tons of parties I'd quietly remove the plastic tat after a couple of days and put it in a bag marked 'party bag tat' ready to fill the bags at their next party.

Now they are older I'd rather give a small but relatively decent take home gift to the handful of friends they invite.

oklumberjack · 09/02/2017 12:44

Just to add, my dd is 12 soon and has 5 friends Bowling for an hour. It did cross my mind to give them all a part at of Apple and mango j2o and a bottle of Tipex each (tipex is so highly prized in their school😂).

But thought I'd look mental!

VaginaSuprise · 09/02/2017 12:50

Mine are of an age where party bags at a party have an altogether different meaning but they never ate the cake and were only impressed with the toy soldier and his plastic parachute.

Lilybensmum1 · 09/02/2017 12:57

I think it's the giving of the bags too, my 2 love handing the party bags to their little friends. I too spend ages sourcing party bag bits but I love doing it.

I personally will give party bags as long as my DC wish, what others do is up to them but I do think it's universally expected that party bags are part of the party but, this does not make children grabby it's us parents that control that.

On the note of squashed cake in the bag I do this but now I think about I'm thinking what a ridiculous idea!! This has happened at every party my DC have been to but it is weird. The cake looks awful, may have to change this.

RiversrunWoodville · 09/02/2017 13:02

soupdragon you are me! Fuck off and go home bags is exactly what they are Grin

NataliaOsipova · 09/02/2017 13:58

birdsdestiny That's hilarious!

MagicMoments22 · 09/02/2017 14:00

Full of tat - I like the book idea

Sisinisawa · 09/02/2017 14:20

I do a slice of cake and some pic n mix. In small gift boxes to look nice. I hate party bags but not brave enough to do nothing.

NennyNooNoo · 09/02/2017 14:22

I did the plastic tat ones only up to about age 6. After that I ordered a range of cheap books from the book people and let them choose one each and the cake went in the bag. It's often cheaper too. From the receiving end, I prefer a book to the plastic tat which in turn is preferable to a bag of sweets on top of the sugary crap they've already eaten.

SoupDragon · 09/02/2017 14:23

my baby hasn't even been born yet

That is when most people are the best at parenting :o I know I was...

JellyWitch · 09/02/2017 14:23

Some sweets and a balloon are all that's needed at most.

JellyWitch · 09/02/2017 14:27

Some sweets and a balloon are all that's needed at most.

WaitrosePigeon · 09/02/2017 14:31

You sound miserable

KERALA1 · 09/02/2017 14:31

I agree op but honestly if the children are under 6 and you don't do party bags there may be upset.

Mine are older now but friends with younger kids were all talking about a recent large party where host parents decided no bags and half their guests burst into tears. Whatever the rights and wrongs I would do them or the party may be talked about for the wrong reasons!

PinguForPresident · 09/02/2017 14:43

So many of the professionally joyless out on MN at the moment.

Yes, they're generally tat, but kids love them, and what's wrong with doing soething kids love at a party? I pick up backs from ebay for pence, a few sweets, slice of cake (ALWAYS cake in bag!) and some crayons or little pads and pencils or similar.

I'm thinking of giving chocolate advent calendars out at my daughter's next (late Nov) party.

eleven59 · 09/02/2017 14:50

YANBU they are full of plastic tat toys that break in around two seconds, in a plastic bag all destined for landfill. Not environmentally friendly. We gave out sweets in a biodegradable bag at the last party. Yes I do feel smug :)

Allfednonedead · 09/02/2017 15:07

Can I add to the movement against cake in party bags? Who thinks it's a good idea to have everything in the bag covered in sticky crumbs? And not everyone likes cake, so even unsquished, at least 2/3 pieces get binned in this house.
I'm not a fan of party bags myself, but I do see the point and my DC love them. But leave out the fecking cake, pleAse!

bumsexatthebingo · 09/02/2017 15:08

Yeah I wouldn't want to eat squished party bag cake that you have to pick bits of stuck on napkin off. My kids have never complained though tbf.

WaitrosePigeon · 09/02/2017 15:09

Yes I do feel smug

About what?

KERALA1 · 09/02/2017 15:13

The book idea is a good one. Get a pack from Amazon so one delivery cost and works about £1 per book, bag of sweets too job done.

oklumberjack · 09/02/2017 15:13

I was giving out paper party bags over 10 years ago!
Look, don't give them out if you don't want. There will be some upset children, but don't use being un-environmentally friendly as a reason. That's just un-imaginative.

elQuintoConyo · 09/02/2017 15:19

They're better than the fucking piñatas we have here. DS came home from his own 5th birthday party with two sweets and one glowstick. Other kids (and their older siblings) were elbowing, gathering and hoarding like vulture-hyena hybrids. Poor Pickle was beside himself. Luckily I had a big bag of extras at home for him Grin

Next year I am definitely doing party bags and to hell with tradition!