To expect husband to use his brain occasionally?

[McDougal]

Together for 16 years, married for almost seven but almost certain that he has engaged his brain about three times during that period. He'll do absolutely anything for anyone, me included, but the second conversation turns to him doing something without direction, he goes blank. Please tell me it's not just me that this infuriates?

Blimey.

I think it's easy to see who's doing the goading on this thread!

It's like a MN version of "I know you are but what am I."

baffled you're really not going to get anywhere trying to argue with these people. There are way better places on the internet for feminism.

FeartheLiving, she's not arguing. She's just making statements that bear no relation to anything anybody has actually said, and refusing to back them up with any evidence. And, indeed, claiming that wanting evidencenis a bad thing. Truly "post truth".

Where do you like to talk about feminism on the internet?

There are better places on the internet for feminism.
I'll say. Bert's feminism seems to be about putting women down and that's not feminism at all.

Thank you Fear. I think you are correct. It's very sad, somewhere like MN should be an advertisement for feminism, not a deterrent for it.

Baffled I'm "complaining" (although I'm not) that DH doesn't know how to get the DC ready for school, doesn't know our schedule so we get there on time, doesn't know what DC eat for supper, doesn't get why dim lights and quiet activities are a good idea before bedtime, doesn't have a clue who their teachers are, doesn't know which clubs are on which days or what snacks to provide, doesn't know what trips are happening when or what to provide for them. This is a lighthearted thread.

Bert's feminism seems to be about putting women down and that's not feminism at all

Very much so.

BathshebaDarkstone I'm on the same page. I'm observing that you aren't allowed to have a wee rant on here with out the femintwatsie descending.

Me and DH are both crap and amazing at this parenting journey all in one go. I imagine that is the norm and is ok.

"Bert's feminism seems to be about putting women down and that's not feminism at all"

Eh??

I think you're probably right Baffled

I think that Bertrand's feminism across many posts (and years) has been very helpful and thoughtful. But what do I know. I'm probably a twat.

There are some very twattish and angry people on this thread, but Bert isn't one of them.

...and bitter. I forgot bitter.

LucklessMonster
There are some very twattish and angry people on this thread, but Bert isn't one of them.

Well that's it people: the conclusion is in. Thank you Luckess for your insightful and intelligent final thoughts.

I have to say I'm utterly heartbroken, oppressed and sarcastic ashamed of myself.

There are some very twattish and angry people on this thread, but Bert isn't one of them.
...and bitter, I forgot bitter.

Who do you think is being twattish, angry and bitter on this thread Luckless?

If anyone can find a twattish, angry or bitter post from me on this thread, I will happily give £10 to a charity of their choice.

I think your first post on this thread was twattish Bert.
I choose Trocaire.

You need an adjudicator, though.

Who needs an adjudicator and why Liney?

Not quite sure how you equate wanting him to be manly and look after you with "Yes YABU, obviously your husband is like mine and can only use his brain for a few hours a day or it will burn out. Leave the poor little lamb alone" but hey ho. New definitions of "manly" and "looking after" that I haven't previously come across.

£10 to The Samaritans please. If you post a screen grab of the receipt I'd appreciate that.

www.samaritans.org/support-us/donate-online

Bert I have decided I believe you are simply goady, as I tried to rewrite that comment to sound interested instead of goady and it was so, so easy:

"Yes YABU, obviously your husband is like mine and can only use his brain for a few hours a day or it will burn out. Leave the poor little lamb alone"

These definitions of manly and looking after are quite a common alternative to how I feel. I do not equate the two, and find it hard to empathise with this point of view because.... etc etc

There are certainly adults who use "feigned helplessness" to get out of tasks. I'm not sure why this is terribly controversial.

I think it's the implication that it's a manly trait. And therefore it oppresses women.
The opposite opinion is that we all do it some times and it is a relationship is, not man/woman issue.

Relationship issue*