To be a tiny bit pissed off they stole my only bit of me time

[Babyiwantabump]

Eldest in play group .

Youngest was napping.

Finally sat my bum on the sofa with a hot cup of tea and a bit of the Netflix.

PIL turn up
No phone call before - I explain that eldest at playgroup youngest asleep upstairs it's just me . They still come in . Then I have to run around making them drinks and focusing on them!

They ruined my me time!!

AIBU?

[FaFoutis]

Navyandwhite do you have a problem with your DIL?

[UnOeufIsEnough]

I really feel for you, OP. My 3-year-old just started afternoons at nursery and my 1-year-old has an hour's nap from 1-2pm. That hour is MINE. I get the rage if anyone fucks with it.

I deal with the kids from the moment I get up and happily cope with not even pooing alone, as long as I get my golden hour!

[RachaelCatWhisperer]

I fear though we are straying from the original question, that being whether it's ok to turn up unannounced. Mother / daughter in law relationships aside, a surprise visit is not ok, and if you drop in and it's not convenient you must accept that on the doorstep and not barge in.

[SapphireStrange]

You don't have to be perfect, Navy, to not enjoy being interrupted by an unannounced visitor or to prefer it if they call in advance.

[LoupGarou]

Navy is this thread about you? Did you turn up unannounced?

[MuseumOfCurry]

Horrible. I'd be very unhappy.

[Thattimeofyearagain]

I cured my fil of doing this - Id been sent home ill from work and he saw my car and leaned on the doorbell. I opened the door and he was just going into his " you skiving again ? " routine when I vomited on his shoes.
Previously he used to have a key but that was taken off him after he let himself in and deliberately woke me up " what on EARTH are you doing in bed at 11 am ?!". Id just come off a run of 6 night shifts

[MuseumOfCurry]

Navy maybe you're forgetting how insanely possessive parents of small children get over their nap time. It's terribly precious.

I used to feel like crying when I'd go to a haircut or pedicure when I had toddlers only to discover that the hairdresser/manicurist intended on talking to me instead of letting me read my book.

[LoupGarou]

Much like how DILs seem to cop it on gransnet. I do sometimes wonder why - perhaps because from childhood you've been conditioned to see your own parents behaviour as normal/to put up with it whereas its easier to speak out against in-laws? I have no idea though, both DH and I have been nc with our parents since long before we met each other.

[SaorAlbaGuBrath]

I absolutely lost my shit the other day when my first bit of me time in weeks was rudely interrupted. Literally the first time I had sat in a room, on my own for over 3 weeks. And I full on lost it.

[MuseumOfCurry]

I think my heart would have sunk at anyone turning up during nap time in those early years. More so at my in-laws, yes, but probably at a friend as well.

[Katiepoes]

Does it matter Navyandwhite? You get ready for a tiny bit of time alone doing as you please...then zap people show up and spoil it. If your relationship with your inlaws is not great then you can't tell them to feck off - making you even more resentful. OP needs to rant - and I agree with her.

It happened me at Christmas, we were staying at my parents, they'd taken precious grandchild off somewhere, husband was out with my brother and I thought 'woohoo a whole afternoon with the TV and the box of Roses' . But....other brother turns up, the one that never stops talking, his wife (ironically) wanted some alone time too so he'd come round to basically do what I was about to. I could happily have decked him with my box of Roses.

[thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter]

Thattimeifyearagain How have you not murdered him!

I feel your pain OP.

My Dsiss are like this, told them to text me at least beforehand - now they practically text as they're pressing my doorbell I wouldn't mind if they actually came to see me but both of them one day had a good old laugh in my face saying they only come to visit to raid my fridge while they let their DC make as much mess as they want as apparently it doesn't matter as my home is a shit hole anyway

[Katiepoes]

IF. I said IF. So maybe I read into it a little - but then so did you - you seem to have decided it's a standard all MILs are evil post. So I suppose that makes us even. My point stands though - people, any people showing up when you get much needed time alone are going to be unwelcome.

[Derlei]

I hate that! YADNBU! I have even hung up on my husband when he rings for a "chat" on his break, me time is massively important to stay sane!

And also, how rude to assume that you're going to be at home. Like if you're a sahm or on maternity leave, you're bound to be sat at home doing nothing

[mya83]

Yanbu

[C8H10N4O2]

OH thought I was being silly as at least his parents made the effort to come round .

In that case he can take the kids round to his parents for a couple of hours this weekend as they 'missed' them when they popped round during the week. Or just out...

[Babyiwantabump]

Relationship is ok with the in laws - it's just I wouldn't choose to spend time with them on my own!

They had come round to see the grandchildren whom weren't there/ sleeping!

They should have rang first .

I don't get much me time having three children two under the age of 3 so that hour was supposed to be all mine!

[Juliecloud]

I feel your pain, OP. I really struggle when the ILs come to stay and the DCs are all at school/preschool and youngest is napping. I was to be alone. Not made polite chit chat with my ILs.

[Juliecloud]

Sorry, made = make!