To be a tiny bit pissed off they stole my only bit of me time

[Babyiwantabump]

Eldest in play group .

Youngest was napping.

Finally sat my bum on the sofa with a hot cup of tea and a bit of the Netflix.

PIL turn up
No phone call before - I explain that eldest at playgroup youngest asleep upstairs it's just me . They still come in . Then I have to run around making them drinks and focusing on them!

They ruined my me time!!

AIBU?

[Cherrysoup]

I have taken to going to a coffee shop near my office, for a coffee and a couple of sudokus or similar, before work, a few mornings a week. There is 1 person from work who has figured this out, and now tries to muscle in on that time "for a chat" - except I never looked for this and NEED my own space at that time, but she gets offended if I don't welcome her with open arms.

Headphones or animated phone call (fake) til she gets the hint or woman up and tell her, very politely, why you are there and the your routine doesn't include her. Or change cafes.

Previously he used to have a key but that was taken off him after he let himself in and deliberately woke me up " what on EARTH are you doing in bed at 11 am ?!" Id just come off a run of 6 night shifts

I'd have shot him. With a fucking big gun. Seriously, wtaf? I would have hit the goddamn roof.

[falange]

Yabu. They didn't do it on purpose. Get a grip.

[Ginseng1]

I know it's a disappointment (I have a 2 hr window where dd naps & others at school) usually do jobs & have 1/2hr of a tv lunch/cuppa Alone which is bliss. It sometimes gets interrupted which is a pain but I don't want close family to have to ring before every time they want to see me so I just put up with it!

[Marymoosmum14]

YANBU I hate it when people interrupt my me time.

[llangennith]

PIL have forgotten how precious 'me time' is to a mother of small children.
It's necessary for your wellbeing.
Explain to them that it's the time you need to recharge your batteries and ask if they'd mind phoning you in advance next time so you can say whether it's a good time or not.

[RevEm]

YANBU me time is precious when you're a parent.

But, some families are like that...think they can drop in unannounced, we did this when I was a child. On my mums side, we never rung before we called in on grandma, auntie, cousins etc. On my Dad's side we always arranged visits, never calle din unexpectedly. Families are different, maybe this is a case of that, that they don't think they've done anything wrong...calling to their sons house unannounced. Maybe have a chat with husband and get him to explain to them that you need some time to yourself in the daytime.

And next time you're having 'me' time, don't answer the door...shut the curtains and shut the world out.

[NoCleanClothes]

YANBU as an introvert I love my me time. Recently had family staying for a few days didn't get a minute to myself so took the opportunity to disappear off to the kitchen to -get away from- cook for everyone. My MiL came in to keep me company because she used to hate being left alone in the kitchen! She genuinely though she was doing me a favour but aaaaaaaaah!

[pollymere]

I would have peeped from upstairs and not opened the door!

[Blueflowers2011]

Me time is SOOO important. I would have been mega annoyed at this.

All good intentions by your PIL im sure if it was not nap time - I would have loved someone actually turning ip to see me at any time (except ME time) just to hold the baby whilst I went and had a quick shower, eat, anything at all! Everybody disappeared which I am stil peeved off about almost 6 years on.

No you are not being unreasonable but maybe ask them to call beforehand and you can give them any excuse if you dont want them coming round. Or just ignore the doorbell next time as I do with everyone I am not expecting nowadays !

[HemlockStarglimmer]

I would be furious. My husband works from home. When our daughter finally started having an afternoon nap (14 months) he would kindly come and keep me company. 😡 Hints didn't work so I just had to say "I need you to go away". He really didn't understand. I told him he didn't have to understand but to just go away!

[happypoobum]

YANBU for being annoyed, but YABU for opening the door to them.

Just don't answer next time. If they complain to DH that you were in, he can explain you were having a much needed rest/meditation/whatever.

[Ladyrainbowsparkles]

YANBU, I would be seriously fucked off if someone not only turned up unannounced but did it during my alone time?! Fucking no. Just no.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

@NavyandWhite - I get the impression that the problem here wasn't that it was the OP's in-laws who came round and interrupted her precious fragment of me-time - she would have been just as pissed off if ANYONE she didn't get on well with had turned up unannounced, interrupted her me-time, and didn't take the hint to leave.

[SpongebobRoundPants]

falange No yabu.

[EweAreHere]

YANBU in the slightest.

I would have told them you were just getting ready to have a nap and to please call first next time.

And I would not have offered them tea and waited on them.

[Craigie]

Amateur mistake. Shouldn't have answered the door.

[LegoCaltrops]

they did ring the bell but luckily he didn't wake - what really got me was when they walked into the living room saw he wasn't in the travel cot and then they were all diassapointed because they couldn't wake him up!

My PILs turned up on one occasion, unannounced, as usual. MIL needed the loo so popped upstairs, I mentioned that DD had just finally gone to sleep so could MIL please not wake her. DD's bedroom floorboard creaked, & through the monitor I heard MIL wake her up. DH was in the kitchen & wouldn't believe me, MIL claimed DD had woken so she had to bring her down. Evidently MIL hadn't spotted the monitor...

[SlankyBodger]

MIL did this; it was awful. Then dh asked to phone first, which she did. It made no difference except to make me dislike her, as I'd say, not really convenient right now but she'd come anyway.

And even though she knew it was naptime for dd, she'd wake her up. I almost hated her in the end, so nip it in the bud.

[Coughandsplutter]

My inlaws always turn up unannounced at the weekends. Drives me mad.

[iMogster]

YANBU
That 1 hour of quiet, relaxing me-time is sooo important. For me, it made all the difference to my whole day and mood. I didn't answer the door to anyone except postman. I didn't answer any phone calls and had landline set to silent.

[HolesinTheSoles]

Why what had she done wrong apart from want to see her grandchild/ren.

NavyandWhite seriously? She called up asked to come round was told it wasn't convenient, came round anyway and woke DC up during nap time?
Surely you can understand that being incredibly annoying?

[holidaysaregreat]

YANBU I used to get about an hour to myself when the kids were tiny (per week that is) when they all went to mass. My Mum used to often call just as I was finishing tidying round to have about half hour to myself and say it was a good time to chat as they were all out :(

[user1475439961]

I would cry! Next time hide.

[EweAreHere]

My PILs turned up on one occasion, unannounced, as usual. MIL needed the loo so popped upstairs, I mentioned that DD had just finally gone to sleep so could MIL please not wake her. DD's bedroom floorboard creaked, & through the monitor I heard MIL wake her up. DH was in the kitchen & wouldn't believe me, MIL claimed DD had woken so she had to bring her down. Evidently MIL hadn't spotted the monitor.

I would have crucified my MIL AND my DH over this. Her for waking the baby and lying about it. My DH for not believing you when you KNEW she had done it and was lying about it.

And I would have made ILs leave, on the spot, for doing it.

Then continued to shred my DH over it.

No effing way would I ever have put up with that.