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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate having my breasts touched?

95 replies

Darlink · 06/02/2017 20:32

By my husband , that is.
I just hate it.
Is this unusual ?

OP posts:
Kookypants · 06/02/2017 22:11

I love mumsnet. Who knew.

tabithakitty · 06/02/2017 22:12

Omg me too!

I used to like it and since bf my DD I actively dislike it. She is almost 3, and I keep thinking it will go back to 'normal'.

I also wonder if my sex drive will go back to what it used to be!

Hamsolo · 06/02/2017 22:24

Man, I thought I was just weird. Slightly disheartened by so many of you saying it hasn't gone back to how it was before after stopping breastfeeding though. I was hoping it would.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 06/02/2017 22:31

I'm relieved to see so many agree! I honestly thought it was just me as well and thought I was super weird as women findnit such a turn on. In stories you always read about women having thier nipples tweaked to drive them wild. I can't imagine anything that's more of a turn off tbh.

Pissedoffhousewife · 06/02/2017 22:36

I hate it too! Just showed this to DH! 😂

SansaClegane · 06/02/2017 22:40

Omg! I always thought I was alone in this. I hate, hate, hate having my nipples touched; it's always been like this. I don't mind having my breasts touched as a whole if that makes sense, but not the nipples! Especially the tweaking / pinching/ anything involving fingertips, eeeeww! Unfortunately it seems to be in some sort of handbook for boys/men as everyone I've been intimate with has tried this initially.

I did manage to BF (with massive difficulties) but I can honestly say it didn't have an impact on my loathing of being nipple-touched, I've hated it before and I still hate it now!

Honestly I always thought I was a freak of nature not to like it. So good to see I'm not.

Babylonmood · 06/02/2017 22:48

So glad to have seen this thread. I hate it I be my daughter until she was 2 with no problems but when I got pregnant I had to stop as I got the same aversion. Bf new baby again now and all fine but dh cannot touch them. Ever. 😉

Fallenmadonnawiththebigboobies · 06/02/2017 22:50

I am so pleased to have found this thread! Post BF having my nipples touched makes me feel slightly sicky and sometimes really angry. Glad to know it's not just me!

Herschellmum · 06/02/2017 22:55

Yep, I've always hated it, think it was mainly my nipples, after attempting breastfeeding which honestly makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a pencil it's a million times worse. I can't stand myself touching them, or clothing rubbing on them or anything. The feeling makes me feel physically sick.

I really don't think my husband gets it, I get so upset as he just does it without thinking and then things I'm going "psycho" as he would say, which I guess I am but flipping heck it's horrible.

I've had 4 kids and I've attempted breastfeeding them all, the last one i was in the hospital and crying because she kept wanting milk, wasn't getting anything from me and they said just keep going until the milk comes in. I attempted for about 6 hours after that and I had to shout at them to give me formula because I would have walked out, I just can't stand it (I had a c section and had no pain relief, so it's wasn't so much about pain, it was just the feeling)!

I've talked about having a breast surgery where they say they will spare the nerves as best they can and feel like saying no severe every late bugger.

I even hate getting turned on because they become aroused and I hate that feeling too ... makes our sex life joyous 😂

downwardfacingdog · 06/02/2017 22:55

I used to love it pre-DC but now can't bear my nips to be touched. DH still does it often, but it really ruins sex for me Angry

NassauBeach · 06/02/2017 23:03

Another one here who hates it!!! And another one who thought it was just me and that I was weird!! I just cringe and shudder when my nipples are even touched.

Still laughing at clenches his sissy Grin

jobanana · 06/02/2017 23:04

I'm the exception, it seems ... Since breast feeding I love even more. So I guess it can work one way or the other, for those of you worried about how you'll feel.

FartnissEverbeans · 07/02/2017 01:18

I absolutely hate getting my nipples touched and that's one of the main reasons why I didn't breastfeed. It makes me sad because I would have loved to cosleep and we've had some issues getting hold of the right formula in this country, but I just cannot imagine allowing someone to suck my nipples. Even the thought makes me feel ill.

I sympathize with others re clothes touching them etc. and imagining that it would be a good thing if they were numbed by breast surgery!

DH is really good about it but I think he gets confused - occasionally when I'm really really in the mood I won't mind it, but 99% of the time I absolutely hate it.

Klaphat · 07/02/2017 01:27

I really don't think my husband gets it, I get so upset as he just does it without thinking and then things I'm going "psycho" as he would say, which I guess I am but flipping heck it's horrible.

Try being a bit more 'psycho' in that case - might make him actually care enough about your discomfort to think what he's doing. Maybe you should grab his scrotum 'without thinking' a few times and see how soon he catches on (your husband sounds like a prick, sorry).

Trifleorbust · 07/02/2017 08:13

Thought about this a bit more and actually it does annoy me having my breasts fondled, as it does nothing for me so I just get frustrated by it.

picklemepopcorn · 07/02/2017 08:27

Is it because they are all doing it wrong? I've had some very few and years ago experiences where it's been great, some where it's been 'meh' and all the rest actively irritating.
They are not stress balls.

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 07/02/2017 08:33

I can't bear the feeing of having my nipples touched. Even brushing them by accident in the shower makes me shudder. I was fine with breastfeeding though, because there's no stroking.

Sandsnake · 07/02/2017 08:40

Me too! Before kids even water hitting them in the shower would make me feel uneasy and make my stomach turn like something bad was going to happen. I find it better if I'm in the 'zone' sexually but still a bit weird at times. Although BF was mostly fine.

Darlink · 07/02/2017 20:45

Been thinking.
There is actually a 2 minute window of opportunity during sex when nipple attention done right is acceptable.

Gentle fondling of the bottom/ sides of breasts is ok too but when a finger "accidentally " strays on to the N region I feel like a spitting cat.

OP posts:
Chickennuggetfeeder · 07/02/2017 20:51

I thought i was the only one i cant stand it! I couldnt stand bfing as it just made me cringe. I always thought we where all meant to like them being touched but glad to see im not alone.

KatyWT1987 · 07/02/2017 20:51

God I hate it too, it irritates the fuck out of me. Hated it before bf and now hate it even more.

picklemepopcorn · 08/02/2017 06:34

I reckon it's in the right way at the right moment. No other time!

unicornpoopoop · 08/02/2017 10:34

I literally want to throw up if my nipples are touched. Like other posters though, they may be a very small window of enjoyment when I'm extremely turned on. But other than that, it just makes me cringe beyond belief.

Jenwen22 · 08/02/2017 11:20

I used to love it but over time it has left me feeling sick. I don't know why. I read somewhere that its a subconcious response to your feelings re. Sex/intimate touching and while this may not be the case for everyone I think it holds some truth for me, due to the way I've been treated sexually in the past by ex's. But saying that I like having sex with my DP and I trust him absolutly, just not my boobs being touched. But that means theres other areas for him to focus on 😊

Baffledonthisone · 08/02/2017 11:28

Touched does nothing for me and is a bit annoying. But a bit of tongue action is like a switch for me! Blush

Is that what you mean, or no contact at all?