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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

MN clique

521 replies

TickTickBoomBoom · 05/02/2017 14:12

I'm a regular poster, and have name changed for this.

Is it just me, or does there seem to be a clique here? Some people's posts always get answered and they seem like a happy friendly little group. If you're 'new' or haven't posted that much, you pretty much get ignored.

I enjoy reading the posts, and I enjoy posting, but this 'exclusivity' is really getting to me. This is supposed to be a place people can come with their problems/jokes etc, and to feel like some people are 'left out' kinda defeats the object IMHO.

OP posts:

ScarlettFreestone · 05/02/2017 15:01

OP the thing the you got "slammed" for which was such a big deal for you won't even have been a blip on anyone else's radar.

Unless you said something truly horrendous (racist, or really really nasty) it's highly likely that the only person who even recalls the incident is you.

You do realise that when people talk about "having a spreadsheet" that they are joking?

Wondermoomin · 05/02/2017 15:01

Oops I'm a slow keyboard tapper and have cross posted with lots saying similar.

Like a PP has said I can only imagine you name changed for this because a simple non-paranoid search of your posting history would show that there's nothing for you to worry about.

TheLambShankRedemption · 05/02/2017 15:02

Announce that you've shagged a married celeb but can't decide whether to go public. Your post definitely won't get ignored

Foxesarefriends · 05/02/2017 15:02

'Today 14:56 Highalert

There is sometimes a 'call to arms' Much less now then there used to be though'

That definitely did used to happen and I agree, much less so. They were Facebook groups etc and pms. I am sure it does still go on a bit but it's rather pathetic and best ignored.

I do get (childishly) bothered when I suggest something which gets ignored and another poster suggests it and gets the glory .

Sparklingbrook · 05/02/2017 15:03

Can you imagine receiving or sending a PM saying to ignore someone? MNHQ can read all PMs and I expect you could get into trouble for that.

WicksEnd · 05/02/2017 15:03

Does it matter? If people who've been on here years regularly post and know each other in a virtual sense, what's wrong with that?
I've never seen it as cliquey, it must go over my head if it is.
Maybe if it wasn't for regular people posting regular threads it would be a boring place to be?
You're taking it too seriously and if it's upsetting you, maybe take a break.

Chippednailvarnishing · 05/02/2017 15:04

Dione I would be proud that someone thought enough of you to send PMs!

Op I think the saying "just because you're paranoid ... doesn't mean they're not after you" might apply to you. Except no one is after you.

NavyandWhite · 05/02/2017 15:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1478860582 · 05/02/2017 15:04

Well at least you've not been ignored on this one OP!

Being a usernumber though, I just melt back into anonymity!

VintagePerfumista · 05/02/2017 15:04

There definitely used to be a group of people who had been around since forever, didn't namechange, and did a lot of virtual air-kissing and "well, hellair"-ing any time any of them popped up. And because of who they were, their threads did go differently to others on the same subject. To deny that would be fatuous.

Thankfully now the site is so big and because so many of them fucked off to elsewhere in cyberspace, it's not like that anymore.

I always smile now when one of them pops up and starts one of their tedious threads which 5-10 years ago (yup, also been here that long) would have run to 1000s of posts, had HQers joining in and been made an instant classic now garners about 20 replies from their old muckers while the rest of MN goes "who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you on about?"

There are some lovely long-running threads which are not cliques too. I joined one just this week. It's its 5th thread and I have never posted before. Was made to feel very welcome.

Sparklingbrook · 05/02/2017 15:04

I am always putting 'I agree with....' and the poster's name but it's not because I know them, just that I agree with them.

DioneTheDiabolist · 05/02/2017 15:05

If you are basing this on your contribution to one thread OP, I think you are being a bit sensitive/paranoid. I'm not sure there are any posters who have not had their arses handed to them on one thread or another.

Chippednailvarnishing · 05/02/2017 15:05

I agree with Sparkling

Foxesarefriends · 05/02/2017 15:06

I know, thank God Vintage

Atenco · 05/02/2017 15:06

This makes me think that messages were exchanged 'behind the scenes' letting everyone know to ignore me

I never got any message, OP.

If I know a bit about a poster, where they are coming from and that their advice is usually insightful and kind, I am more inclined to pay attention to what they say.

Sparklingbrook · 05/02/2017 15:07

I can remember a couple of times I got my arse handed to me. For future reference never post about accidentally sucking a mouse up the hoover attachment or that you are going to ask the farmer up the road to stop muck spreading because it stinks.

TheNaze73 · 05/02/2017 15:08

More to do with the fullness of a post than a clique or an obscure question

TheNiffler · 05/02/2017 15:08

lol I've been here forever, a prolific poster, know loads of MNers 'off board' (on FB, some in groups, not RL), and I've never seen a real call to arms. Or a 'we need to ignore X'.

That's paranoia talking.

BertrandRussell · 05/02/2017 15:09

"And I've name changed because I don't want to be 'slammed' and excluded again. And no, I'm not giving a list lol - I've already opened a big enough can of worms."

Well, no you haven't. You've put a can on the table and said "There's worms in that. Definielely worms"

TheNiffler · 05/02/2017 15:09

On the other hand, I will ignore posts if I think that particular poster is an arsehole. I just post 'round' them on a thread. Why would I want to engage with an idiot?

MiddleClassProblem · 05/02/2017 15:09

I recognise names but not what they've posted which means I can totally fallout with someone in one thread and then love them in another. My brain is such a fail that names don't matter to me.

I think time of day and title have a big impact just as length of op can too. I doubt it's personal. There are people that remember each other and maybe follow each other to threads but I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

ArmySal · 05/02/2017 15:11

You've put a can on the table and said "There's worms in that. Definielely worms"

NotYoda · 05/02/2017 15:11

MiddleClass

Yes, that's my experience. You can have got quite cross with each other one day and be nodding agreement another.

Sparklingbrook · 05/02/2017 15:12

Someone get a can opener.

Doglikeafox · 05/02/2017 15:14

I haven't really noticed this I have to say. I'm not known by anyone I don't think and I always get loads of advice on my posts

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