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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dp kicked out cat

298 replies

Anothernamechange5 · 04/02/2017 20:51

Name changed. Massively identifying.

So, I had a cat before we got together. Now 7 years later, living together with a dc.

Cat is quite annoying in a cat way (around your legs for food etc) which is a bit of a pain but manageable. But, he's started being sick a lot after food which dp is sick of cleaning up (whoever spots it cleans it so I clean it up too) and of course not great for dc - although I use disinfectant etc.

Basically I'm sad about it. The cat flap has been taken away & the cat only comes indoors for food. He has the shed for shelter/warmth. I don't want to put up a fight because then I'll feel anxious if/when the cats sick and feel responsible for his anger. I am taking him to the vet so hopefully it'll stop the sickness but think dp is done now.

I just feel sad. AIBU?

OP posts:
DJBaggySmalls · 04/02/2017 22:48

Did you know cats need worming and treatment for furballs?
How can you make an animal live outside in winter, with predators and traffic to contend with? Rehome the cat if you wont look after it.

Cherrysoup · 04/02/2017 22:48

Might be his food if you're feeding low quality easily available commercial stuff. One of mine is often sick, perfectly healthy, just gulps food down then pukes it back up. He's now fed from a slow feeder. He had a bug at one point and a human stomach settling type medicine helped, something like kaolin.

Confine him to the kitchen after feeding for ease of cleaning.

PossumInAPearTree · 04/02/2017 22:53

If the cat eats wiskas cat food change it. Both me and my brother have had cats which were sick after eating this and changing to felix solved it for both 99% of the time. Other thing which helped is only putting down half a pouch at a time.

Writerwannabe83 · 04/02/2017 22:59

My cat did this OP - vomiting really frequently throughout the day and after a trip to the Vets and blood tests he was found to have a thyroid problem. He was started on medication and the problem cleared up straight away.

Idontbelievethelies · 04/02/2017 23:00

Can't you restrict the cat to the kitchen for the time being? I don't know where the cat flap is but somehow could you keep the cat out of the lounge / bedrooms but still allow it in the house?
Is the shed heated? A wooden shed outside is not going to be warm so don't kid yourself it will be. Your cat is going to be cold and miserable and confused, and if it is unwell that's even worse. Come on op, you know this isn't fair on the cat. I'd say find it a better home but there are cats in rescue centres across the uk waiting for a good home, and you should be responsible and do right by your poor cat.

PossumInAPearTree · 04/02/2017 23:00

slow food bowl

Lunar1 · 04/02/2017 23:02

Your partner is not a good person. No decent human being could throw out a sick pet. My husband would be living in the shed if he tried this.

RustyPaperclip · 04/02/2017 23:06

Hope you are ok OP. Don't get me wrong, I am a massive cat lover (I would probably choose a cat over most humans Grin), so I can understand a lot of the upset here about your poor cat. However I can't help but feel that the treatment of the cat is just a sign of more serious issues. I am echoing previous posters who have said that the way a person treats an animal is telling. PigletJohn's post made me shudder slightly

AliceInUnderpants · 04/02/2017 23:09

Why are you worried about being identified (enough to namechange) Have you discussed this IRL? What have others said?

Meridien · 04/02/2017 23:13

Your DH isn't a dh at all, he's a bastard. Your defenceless dependent cat, a responsibility you took on willingly, is more important. See if the Cinnamon Trust can help you.

ChishandFips33 · 04/02/2017 23:14

How soon after eating is the cat sick?

Could you feed outside and then bring him in (vet apt first port of call though) as a compromise or contain him in a non carpeted room for feeding

user128057 · 04/02/2017 23:16

Agree with the other posters. Keep the cat and get of the partner. I feel really sorry for the poor cat being kept in a shed especially in this cold and if he's poorly.

Aspiringcatlady · 04/02/2017 23:18

Why not suggest that your DP sleeps in the shed? See if he likes going from a lovely warm house with human company, to a cold shed with no company. Poor cat can't help being sick, especially if he has not been seen to by a vet. Would your DP like to be kicked outside next time he is ill?

kaelea · 04/02/2017 23:20

Keeping my personal views out of this get rid of dp

in the meantime while waiting for your vets app, if you think the cat is eating too fast buy it a 'slow down' pet feeding bowl, feed it smaller meals but more often, it could be panic gulping its food seeing how it has to eat and then be turfed out, not knowing when its next going to get to eat again.
no idea how old the cat is but as its at least over 7 put it on a senior cat diet,
let it in the house 24/7, you can confine the cat to the easiest to clean room, not bathroom provide toys, stimulation, beds, company and playtime, its fine to turf it out if you see its going to be sick but don't keep it shut out, my old cat wasn't allowed upstairs, she knew she wasn't allowed and never tried to go up, so I know its doable

lastly if you can't stick up for your cat with your dp, then rehome him

roseteapot101 · 04/02/2017 23:23

my other half would be worried if this happened to any of our cats .When he first came although he didn't know them got to know them and loved them like i did.They are part of our family

our cats have sensitivity issues with food we feed ours porta 21 sensible which is grain free

ExitPursuedBySpartacus · 04/02/2017 23:27

Poor puss.

kali110 · 04/02/2017 23:31

Op if your cat is suffering with fur balls you can buy paste, liquid you add to the food to aid digestion.
It stopped ours.

I would be kicking my dp out if he had ever done this. My pets come first.
Do not let him do this again.
this is not fair on the cat.
If the cat is gobbling the food down then is it stressed???

Insomnibrat · 04/02/2017 23:33

I had a partner who in a fit of temper, kicked our cat down the stairs and broke its leg. It had to be put down. I LTB.

RustyPaperclip · 04/02/2017 23:34

What breed is your cat? It might not be relevant but some pedigree cats I have owned have had very delicate stomachs

BorrowedHeart · 04/02/2017 23:48

Some people really over react on here, you don't have any say in what the op does. To compare a cat to her partner and hers child is ridiculous, her partner isn't fussed on the cat, that doesn't mean he hates his kid. Some of you men haters need to grow the fuck up and realise couples don't have to agree on everything and have arguments, it's resolving them that keeps people together and strong. The op and her partner have already resolved things by the sounds of it so stfu.

Sparklingbrook · 05/02/2017 00:01

'Men haters' Confused

PickAChew · 05/02/2017 00:06

How is it resolved, borrowed?

Op isn't happy, ergo not resolved. HTH.

ilovesooty · 05/02/2017 00:07

I admit to being a cat lover but I'm far from being a man hater.

And as for having "resolved things" you can think what you like. I know what I think and I can disagree with you if I want to.

Patienceisvirtuous · 05/02/2017 00:11

I always find it really strange when people get annoyed at an animal got doing something that isn't their fault or their intention.

Our cat pukes at least every other day (sensitive stomach). She's mainly indoors. We just clean it up with kitchen roll, then disinfectant/vanish. Takes a couple of minutes at most. She's ours, it's part 'n parcel, it's no big deal Confused

I'd leave DH if he tried to kick her out.

Jb291 · 05/02/2017 00:13

Your partner deserves a boot up his backside. You should be kicking his arse to the kerb. Your vulnerable and poorly cat deserves to be looked after and kept warm and should have appropriate veterinary treatment. Stand up for yourself and for your cat and make it clear to your arsehole of a partner that the cat stays and the cat flap is being put back in. He is clearly a foul and pathetic excuse for a human being.