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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dp kicked out cat

298 replies

Anothernamechange5 · 04/02/2017 20:51

Name changed. Massively identifying.

So, I had a cat before we got together. Now 7 years later, living together with a dc.

Cat is quite annoying in a cat way (around your legs for food etc) which is a bit of a pain but manageable. But, he's started being sick a lot after food which dp is sick of cleaning up (whoever spots it cleans it so I clean it up too) and of course not great for dc - although I use disinfectant etc.

Basically I'm sad about it. The cat flap has been taken away & the cat only comes indoors for food. He has the shed for shelter/warmth. I don't want to put up a fight because then I'll feel anxious if/when the cats sick and feel responsible for his anger. I am taking him to the vet so hopefully it'll stop the sickness but think dp is done now.

I just feel sad. AIBU?

OP posts:
allchattedout · 05/02/2017 08:03

I think the OP means she doesn't want people doing a name search and connecting this issue with the cat to the other issues she has with her partner. And I think I know why

Aha. Yup, you're probably right...

DemelzaP · 05/02/2017 08:06

You can buy puzzle feeders for cats to stop them eating quickly.

Casschops · 05/02/2017 08:11

Mean of him to kick out the cat and unreasonable of you to allow him to do it. Take responsibility for the cat that you had before he even came on he scene. He relies on you for comfort warmth and shelter and at the moment you are clearly not providing all he needs. You may do the cat a favour by taking him to the vet and then rehoming him as our clearly have you priorities wrong. Your "D"P has his own voice e s a human and the cat needs you to be his voice but seems you are not managing Ben that. Annoys me so much when people don't look after their beautiful animals properlySad.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 05/02/2017 08:16

One of my girls is sick quite often. She's not ill (I've checked). It's horrible sometimes... When it's dark and you actually tread in it. Or you realise it's on your hairbrush a second too late.

I don't kick her out or shout at her. Being sick is not being naughty or punishable. I comfort her so she's not scared because of something she can't help.

I wouldn't trust someone who behaved differently.

FWIW my DGP's neighbour only gave their cat access to the shed with a bit of dried food and a blanket on the floor. The cat moved out.

ineedwine99 · 05/02/2017 08:27

Hi OP, hope your cat is ok. I know how you feel as mine are sicky cats too but they are fine, just eat too fast/too much (vet checked, they really are fine)
It is annoying as they do seem to wait until in a carpeted area to be sick :-D but your partner is very much in the wrong, he wouldn't put kids outside for being sick on the carpet so why the cat?
Just offer to do all the clearing up, thats what I do (husband loves the cats but they were mine before I met him)
Good luck and don't let him tell you what to do

Badhairday1001 · 05/02/2017 08:39

You can't keep a cat in the shed, it's not fair on the cat if it's used to being inside with company. My dog is often sick due to eating too fast and reflux, I feed her smaller meals more often. I also keep her in the kitchen for half an hour after eating, then if she is sick it's easy to clean up off the tiled floor. I understand not wanting sick everywhere but couldn't you just keep her in the kitchen after meals until she has seen the vet?

user1485706893 · 05/02/2017 08:39

It's hardly fair to kick out a cat because he's ill... kick out your dp and sort the cat out!

Meridien · 05/02/2017 08:42

So glad to hear this hasn't been/shouldn't be an ongoing problem. I re-read your original post and honestly, you don’t say that this only happened yesterday. Animal welfare is something that makes a lot of people very upset very quickly, you sound just the same or you wouldn’t have posted.

On the food side, I've often had cats with food issues, probably because I've always had rescue cats, fostering and my own, and the best I've found for them is Royal Canin, dry or wet. Wet is very expensive, yes, and I'd only feed it to help a cat get through illness if needed, but I can't remember any cat of mine rejecting RC dry, even those with very few teeth - I break it up a little with a rolling pin for those if needed - and there have been a lot of cats. I’m 70 now and have always had around five cats at any one time although now I’m older and disabled, it’s down to two.

If your cat is older than about seven years, and there’s no particular health issue diagnosed, try him on RC dry for elderly cats, introducing it gradually and always have fresh water down for him. It's low in phosphates which helps an ageing cat's kidneys. I start mine on low-phospate food even if they're not showing signs of kidney disease, which can include vomiting, at age seven, or what I think is age seven, bearing in mind he/she is a rescue cat. One of mine is currently on RC for liver problems as he has a congenital liver disorder which killed one of my cats at age 12 many years ago; he’s 10 now and thriving. If there’s a particular health problem I’d absolutely invest in Royal Canin’s dry formulation for that particular problem, liver, kidneys, anything else, I’ve had too much experience in feeding that kind of food and having my cats often live past 20 to do anything else now. Hills’ vet diets seem not to suit a lot of cats, maybe it’s because the biscuits are too big for many cats.

Mine get a chicken meal whenever I roast one, and fish no more than once a week if that, for a change. Fish is so expensive now, I buy frozen whiting or generic ‘white fish’ from the supermarket if they have it, otherwise coley. I take care to pick any bones out with tweezers, though, fish just gets hoovered in a flash. I’m a well-trained slave. Smile

There are lots of choices on the market in veterinary and non-vet specialist foods, though, and vets charge a hefty mark-up. I usually go to Animed Direct or Viovet but there are other good suppliers, always looking around for special offers first. Disclaimer: I have no connection with any company in this field, just a customer.

Apologies if you know all this and I’m telling you to suck eggs. I hope your cat’s problems can be solved quickly. A sick cat not being able to tell me what’s wrong just breaks my heart.

LEELULUMPKIN · 05/02/2017 08:48

I am not a cat lover but poor cat. You need to stand up for yourself and your cat and tell your DP to do one.

Anothernamechange5 · 05/02/2017 09:02

Definitely getting the food looked at, thank you.

Can guarantee 100% this happened yesterday. His comments about only coming in for food were made after I got home & jobs completed. But thank you for the personal attack.

I haven't posted about dp on MN but have for work related/health matters

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 05/02/2017 09:10

Stupid question! How much dried food and how old is cat? Does the food come up looking the same as it did before cat ate it? (Sorry I know that's gross at breakfast time!)
Wondering if teeth are the issue and cat is just swallowing food.
Whiskas is also not great quality and made mine have upset tummies.
And again. Do you groom cat daily? Just because it has long hair it doesn't mean it should necessarily have hair balls.

ilovesooty · 05/02/2017 09:19

I am glad you are taking steps to assure your cat's welfare.
I still think you are making excuses for your partner. I think I've lost count of how many times I've seen comments along the lines of "I think he's come over badly. He really isn't a bad person" Hmm

Anothernamechange5 · 05/02/2017 09:20

More wet than dry, he had cystitis from dry food a few years back so now he has 2 wet pouches and handful of dry a day (spaced out). Sick comes back up looking the same so not digested. Grim for breakfast time, sorry! He gets a little brush now & again but he's a bugger to keep still for it

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 05/02/2017 09:26

Could well be teeth. Old girl used to swallow dried food. Try mashing up wet and avoiding dry.
Also a long haired cat must be groomed daily. The more often you do it the happier he will be with it. (If it's just a once over now and again he will also be matted which will stop him keeping still!) Old girl needed going over a minimum of twice a day towards the end.

ChishandFips33 · 05/02/2017 09:30

he's a bugger to keep still for it (brushing)

Mine too! 17 yrs later I've discovered she loves the little treats we got free one time and she now has a few of those slowly given off my hand whilst I brush her!

She comes running now when she sees the packet/brush!!

We've never given treats but if I'd known this helped her be brushed I'd have succumbed long ago Smile

kaelea · 05/02/2017 09:32

so you still haven't answered how come it takes you so long to get a vets appointment? I could be in 3 local vets being seen by a vet in the space of time it would take me to travel there even at 9.30 on a Sunday morning.

while your defending your dp and not your cat, seriously, rehome him .. poor little mite

hopskip123 · 05/02/2017 09:47

Op I wish you pisted about the cat sooner. This is a classic sign of worms. Cats need a proper branded worming tablet once every 3 months if they go outside. Worms in their stomach mean theres not enough room for food. If this is the cause then the vomitting will stop within a week of the tablet.

MargotLovedTom1 · 05/02/2017 09:51

kaela why are you badgering the OP about the appointment? She doesn't need to 'explain' anything!

MargotLovedTom1 · 05/02/2017 09:53

hopskip OP has already said the cat has been wormed.

Alfieisnoisy · 05/02/2017 09:55

Hello OP, glad you are looking at food.

No1 cat here cannot cope with wet good...it seems to rich for her so when it's eaten she kindly projectile vomits it across the carpet. I do love her Wink. However she does not react that way to kibble so that's what she gets along with lots of water.

No2 at feels deprived without wet food so is fed separately from cat 1. Problem solved

As someone else said this can be a sign of worms too.

And finally...if my DH banned the cats from the house I would ban HIM from the house too Grin.

KathArtic · 05/02/2017 10:08

Isn't there any common sense on here at the moment?

Just shouting LTB isn't that easy and also criticising the OP about not taking the cat to the vet sooner is unreasonable. Perhaps the OP hasn't been in a position to do this if there are problems with the OPs health. The DP took away the flap (with OPs agreement) so they could prevent/monitor the cat being sick indoors. It isn't pleasant clearing up any vomit.

The OP has also said the cat has warmth and shelter in the shed and said the cat is not an indoor cat. He's an outdoor cat who sleeps on sofa in the day, out at night so most likely wont settle indoors come night time. Provided the cat otherwise appears well he will be fine outside.

reuset · 05/02/2017 10:18

Provided the cat otherwise appears well he will be fine outside.

Cat doesn't appear to be well, though. So...

KathArtic · 05/02/2017 10:26

Its just bringing up its food like its always done for the last 7 years - I'd say nothings changed.

kaelea · 05/02/2017 10:28

MorgatLovesTom1

The op has an answer for everything, unfortunately all the answers defend her dp but not her cat! personally I think to keep a poorly animal weeks before seeing a vet when they are so easily accessible is bordering on animal abuse, vets simply don't keep you waiting weeks .. well not in my world

if asking one question for the first time is seen as badgering on here, then its surprising anyone ever asks anything lol

reuset · 05/02/2017 10:31

Well, fortunately, the OP doesn't think so. She's concerned it's gone on a bit more than usual in the last couple of weeks, hence booking an appointment with the vet.

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