I think I might BU... dinner/childcare related

[Xuli]

We have two DC, 5y and 3m.

DH does all the cooking in the house. He does it because he enjoys cooking, and enjoys nice food. On a weekend we eat as a family, but on most week nights he is at work and so me and him eat at about 8 once the kids are in bed. 5yo either eats at afterschool club or has left overs from our meal the day before.

DH cooks from scratch about 95% of the time. As in, he makes his own sauces, marinades, spice mixes etc, makes bread fresh, that sort of thing. So even if we have a relatively simple meal like grilled chicken and pittas, there's still faffing around making the spice mix and the pitta bread.

I can't really cook. I mean, I can not poison us all but it's not something I enjoy doing and as DH has done almost all of the cooking for years, I've fallen even more out of practice.

The issue is that I have to do bedtime with both kids quite regularly due to his shifts, so when he is at home I'd appreciate some help some nights. He means to help, but gets carried away cooking and then somehow I end up doing most things because the baby is crying or something.

The logic answer is to swap cooking and childcare responsibilities - BUT because I'm not a great cook and he likes fresh made food, this isn't much of an option. I can't imagine how long it would take me to follow one of his recipes, and he won't lower his 'standards' and have a jacket potato etc one night. Delaying his cooking until after the kids are bed would probably mean not eating until 9.

This is driving me barmy. We've talked about it and he understands why it frustrates me at bedtime and says he'll help, but then still ends up faffing around and I end up juggling the 5yo and the baby yet again. But - another but - I know I'm probably being U because I am fortunate to get lovely home cooked food served up most nights, without me doing any thinking, planning or cooking.

Sigh. Should I just suck up doing bedtimes myself?

Exactly what MrsHathaway said; let gastrohub share in the lovely snuggles if it's so much fun! Surely it would be selfish not to...

I can see OP'S point. My husband is a bit like that with his "performance cookery". He does a roast every Sunday for early evening so we can all have it together but it means he often won't come out anywhere with us on Sunday afternoons so I end up doing this on my own. If we're at home I keep the kids entertained as he says he can't have them in the kitchen but the thing about roasts is that there can be long gaps where you aren't doing much do he's often parked at the kitchen table with a beer and the Sunday papers.
In the week we take turns to cook and the other gets the evening off after putting the kids (well the youngest) to bed.
He never helps with bedtime on his cooking nights even though he often doesn't start cooking until after I've finished bedtime. I can't complain because I do get my "night off" but for him there is a strong element of preferring to make a meal out of making a meal and avoid doing stuff with the kids because cooking is more enjoyable and relaxing.
If I am cooking he often asks me to pop up and help ie if he's forgotten a towel or decides he wants to get changed out of his work shirt, and I do IF it's convenient. But if I ask for similar I get told "wait a minute/ just in the middle of something etc"

Gastrohub