Friend blocked me for not helping her

[colaflower]

I'm fuming

Long time friend (over 5 yrs anyway) was in an abusive relationship, two lovely dcs, I've got a ds, they all get on well. I supported her (and vice versa!), there for someone to chat to and kept telling her to GTFO when her ex was being violent towards her. She moved away from him and alls cushty apart from him trying to get contact with kids. Its gone to family court and I have been a witness for her (although not called to stand I have been in court and have given statements etc)

She messaged me a couple of weeks ago saying it was back in court (which I'd known about for a couple of months) and I replied saying that I didn't think I would be able to help this time (FIL in hospital having a kidney removed as he has cancer, we have no family to help with childcare and I couldn't find a childcare provider as our town has very little provision. I also have no car so I can't drop ds off anywhere and my husband is unable to take time off work at the moment as he has to be able to get away short notice for his father just in case)

She went ballistic with me, shouting (ALL CAPS) in texts saying that she didn't know what to do, its all been called etc etc. She's got to speak to her solicitor etc etc

I wouldn't have been able to attend court anyways as I was signed off work due to having hand foot mouth virus (freaking sore) and I went to send her a message to see how things went and she's deleted me from facebook and blocked me from whatsapp.

AIBU for wanting to talk to her solicitor and tell her not to bother contacting me again and I want everything I've done to help her removed from file?

Husband has said good, she's nothing but trouble (hes always had that feeling about her) I've saved all her messages to file and deleted them from my phone.

I can't believe how petty she's been- yes, I said I could help her but I really couldn't help her this one time and she's the one who's being moody?!

TL:DR version-
Friend flipped out and blocked me from FB as I couldn't go to court one time to support her.

Have none of you read, op has hand foot and mouth and is signed off by the DR from work, she will hardly be able to go to court with that will she!!!!

Well I'd say that she's being a mardy cow over it, but please don't do anything so petty as to withdraw your previous statements.

You won't be able to remove evidence from her file. You can be witness summonsed if your evidence considered necessary by her lawyer. Her reaction is emotional not rational, but as a victim of domestic abuse that's not uncommon. Also why sully your own good reactions (providing the statements etc) by trying to remove them in a tit for tat? That just brings you down.

If medically unfit the hearing may need to be adjourned. You'll need to show proof IF friend's lawyers think your evidence necessary.

When my father was dying of cancer, he would have required me to give evidence if needed.
Re hearsay, just going to court to give live evidence does not make something which is hearsay miraculously become not hearsay. If your evidence is Mrs A told me the wall was purple and it is being used as evidence that the wall was purple. That is hearsay. You didn't see the wall. You don't know what colour it was. If you are being called to show her demeanour when she told you this, or to give evidence as proof of what she said rather than the truth of what she said then that is different.

I think YABU.

I'm sorry your FIL has cancer, but than in itself shouldn't stop you from going to court for one day to do something so vital to someone else's safety.

Do you know anything about domestic abuse? Abusers often use contact negotiations as a way to continue the abide and control of their ex partner. He will go on to abuse again, and if his children have overnight contact, he will do so in front of them.

This is really for their benefit, not hers.

You have vital information that will help the court decide in the best interests of your friend and her children.

She could look after the kids when you're in court, or, as someone suggested upthread, whoever looks after her kids when she's in court could help.

You really should go.

Abuse, not abide. Damn autocorrect.

You must help this poor woman's children!! Different court/judge is a blessing, it needs to be sorted so they're protected- how would you feel if one of the children was seriously hurt or worse by staying overnight with that 'father' if you hadn't done your bit to help
Ask her if she has a relative who can watch your children whilst you're just giving evidence