WIBU to this rude man on the train?

[Tabbylady]

Sometimes I commute by train. Today coming home I was at a table with a woman & baby opposite me and man next to me. I've seen the man a few times- it's a small train and we obviously do a similar commute.

I had smiled at the woman and commented on her cute baby before the man got on. The woman started to breastfeed her baby and almost immediately the man started making disgusted noises and told her to "go and do that in the toilet". She seemed really shocked/speechless.

I said excuse me but she isn't bothering me and I'm opposite her, pointed out that it's illegal to stop someone from breastfeeding in public now, and invited him to go and eat his smelly egg sandwich in the toilet instead. He wasn't really having any of it and said she was flaunting herself, to think of the effect it might have on "those boys" (a table of oblivious teenagers halfway down the train). The woman was now in tears. I'd had a bad day at work and lost the plot a bit.

For context, I work in criminal justice. I was working on my laptop on a presentation on sex offenders I'm due to do, where I have some expertise. (OK to do on a train, it's in the public domain and no graphic images etc!) but did notice him peering at my laptop screen.

I told him, very loudly, that if he was unable to cope with the merest sight of breast in a completely appropriate, public context and was finding himself uncontrollably aroused then I was seriously concerned that he was some kind of sexual deviant and should seek help immediately. I did this in a very earnest, straight-faced, concerned-for-your-health and totally PA way. People nearby noticed, and laughed. He was all flustered, went scarlet and buried himself in the Metro.

I got off at the same stop as the woman and apologised to her as I did not want to have embarassed her. She said it was ok and that she wasn't embarrassed, nice to have been stuck up for etc so I know I did broadly the right thing there.

But did I take it too far with the man? He was being really awful, but I was pretty rude and he was clearly embarrassed. I'll probably see him again on the train. Do I need to apologise to him too??

I'm imagining him on oldmansnet complaining about this nasty random young(ish) woman who accused him in public of being a sex offender!!!

putting it in to context (go and eat your food in the toilet) should really have made him realise what a fool he is.

It may have been a shock reaction from him, but no apology from you is required or indeed should be given, absolutely not !

I wonder how his mum would feel if she was put in the same position as this other mother ?

Well done OP. I am currently and thankfully haven't had such negativity but I would certainly not mince my words and I would have been very proud to hear your speech. Next time you see him, just give him a cold straight brief stare then act like he doesnt exist.

*currently breastfeeding

Tabbylady I have to say that Victorian twat was damn lucky I wasn't the breastfeeding mum cos I'd have squirted a jet of the offending liquid in his face and told him to fuck off (I'm breastfeeding my two year old and I can still fire a thin jet afew feet - absurdly proud of this...😂). I read this post this morning and it's had my dander up all day, I think he got off lightly BUT I think you responded perfectly! I understand that you wonder if you overreacted, working in the public sector does make you think more about what you say (I worked in council housing for four years and we really had to watch what we said!). You blooming genius you, and today I think I might have a little bit of a girl crush on you! High fives and a virtual double of your usual chick😊