Leaving toddler in the car to go into a shop.

[lbsjob87]

During discussions over dinner about our day, OH mentioned he'd popped into the Post Office to post an EBay parcel.
I said to DS "Did Daddy take you to see Postman Pat?"
He said "No, I in car".
DH then said "I was in and out in two minutes and I could see him all the time, it was quicker than getting him out."
Knowing the shop in question, this is possible, but even so, is it reasonable to leave a 2 year old unattended for even a few minutes? He had to get the parcel weighed so couldn't just drop it in the postbox.
He says he can't see the problem, and it's no different to paying for petrol and leaving him to go and pay.
(I try not to get petrol when DCs are in the car, and take them into the shop if it's unavoidable).
AIBU?

No, I don't think he should of left him. Although it was only for 2 minutes, i would of been annoyed at my partner if he left our son unattended in the car. It's very unlikely but what if your son got his hands on something and ended up choking?

I think children are safer crossing the forecourt holding a parents hand than alone in the car but that is my opinion
Well, weirdly I don't have 4 hands.

I think it is a good example and something I alluded to in an earlier post. He was right by his mother's side and she only had to look away for a second. If that can happen right next to the mother what can happen when the kid is in a car and the parent is away. No one is keeping their eye on the car 100% of the time, you look at the cashier or you look at the pin pad for your card or down at your purse for cash. No one can say that they have the child in sight all of the time, its impossible.

NRTFT but I've done it with DD. Only in shops where I can see the car at all times from the window and never on a road (only when I'm in car parks) in case of a crash. Also only when I need one thing and know I'll be quick, she's 3.5 so understands I won't be long.

However I've since had DS, who is 2 weeks old. All 3 of us went out in the car for the first time yesterday and I went to the post office, charity shop to drop off clothes and Matalan to collect a parcel. I didn't feel right leaving both in the car (even though all places has car parks/full window views) at all so took them in everywhere with me. It's a PITA but from now on I'll just set off places a little earlier.

Well, weirdly I don't have 4 hands
As I said that's your choice it's how I feel about it, but also your situation is a little different to mine and OPs, I wouldn't leave my single child alone because of this as I would feel they were safer with me. You have four, who would assumedly look after each other and be far less likely to be a target for anyone who wanted to take them because the other three would assumedly make a huge amount of noise alerting others on the forecourt/car park even if they weren't old enough to physically help.

His name is Jamie Bulger.

And I'm not saying its easier to take a child from different places, I was just making the point that there is no way you can keep an eye on your child 100% of the time while they are in the car and that case proves its hard to keep an eye on a child when they are right beside you, never mind when they're so many yards away in a vehicle where usually its difficult to see them anyway due to the seats/doors blocking the view.

Thank you.

Yeah you've got a point, we were left in the car but my mother always said ''Whoever takes you will bring you straight back''

I think a lot of the kids who are stolen in cars are not actually seen by the robber, a lot of them see the kid after they've driven away, panic and ditch the car.

Oh my goodness! How long do you have to take your eyes of a kid for them to do that?! Didn't it have a safety cap on it?

It's illegal in Australia to leave kids unattended in cars.

Is that not the case in the U.K.?

I think this whole question taps into some of our deepest fears and instincts about our role as parents.

Instinctively we have a strong sense that it is our role to protect our children, and so we are hard-wired to feel that if they are close to us we are protecting them.

A lot of the examples cited as 'what ifs' are the stuff of every parent's worst nightmares (fires, kidnapping etc) - the things that make our blood run cold.

Confronted with these fears it is our instinct to protect them by keeping them close. We are the parent, our role is to keep them safe, therefore they must be safer if they are closer to us, if we can see them and not allow those fears to space to creep into our minds.

However taking a cold, hard rational look at the risks there are some situations where it is safer for a child to be strapped into a child seat in a locked car for two minutes than they are with the parent. But believing that means admitting that we are fallible and that we can't always protect our children.

I'm amazed so many posters have witnessed stationary (car engine off) fires and 'other things like this

My sister had parked her car once, and about 10 seconds after she got out, it burst into flames. I can and does happen.

Stoic - Im guessing that may in part be down to the weather ?

Yes it's definitely more about hot cars than a fear of children getting out, or snatched. I would never in a million years leave a toddler in a car. Nor would anyone I know. Yet it still happens here, amazingly.

If a car was going to crash through the car park outside the post office my child would be safer locked in the car than walking exposed through the car park.

Surely it's a decision made on risk factors.? If the road out side was on a steep hill, or a main road, or my car had been recalled due to an electrical fault perhaps I would decide not to. I am however more than happy to leave my DC locked in the car in a sheltered, off road car park directly outside our quiet village post office for the two minutes it takes me to pick up the papers.

I've never liked the idea of locking a child in a car on their own, possibly because I get freaked out at the thought of being locked in myself.

But so much of this comes down to making a sensible judgement based on the area you are in, how far from the car you are, whether the child is likely to be able to get out of the car seat etc. Two minutes in the village shop where you know everyone and you can see the child (not just the car) is pretty different from two minutes in a big city with hundreds of strangers wandering past. It's not just black and white.

Funnily enough, yesterday morning I put DS (2) in his car seat in the car, ready for us to go out, then realised I'd left something in the house. I locked the car, and nipped back in, and DS managed to set the car alarm off. Wpuld have been hideously embarrassing if that had happened outside a shop, instead of on our drive!

I can't remember if it was on MN or a FB group but I remember a mother said that she takes her FOUR kids with her to pay form petrol - 2 older ones and twin 1-year olds, she'd put the twins in a sling and then hold the other kids hands. Apparently it took only 2 minutes I can't imagine how doing that is safer than leaving them in the car.

On another note I think my DD must be lazy or a bit thick as at 3.5 she's never undone her car seat buckle

And YY to people who've witnessed/dreamt up all these freak accidents. I think the most dramatic I've ever seen is a car stall on a hill

Oh and who knew that mum's were 'bosses'. What does that make dad's? Employees?? FFS