Leaving toddler in the car to go into a shop.

[lbsjob87]

During discussions over dinner about our day, OH mentioned he'd popped into the Post Office to post an EBay parcel.
I said to DS "Did Daddy take you to see Postman Pat?"
He said "No, I in car".
DH then said "I was in and out in two minutes and I could see him all the time, it was quicker than getting him out."
Knowing the shop in question, this is possible, but even so, is it reasonable to leave a 2 year old unattended for even a few minutes? He had to get the parcel weighed so couldn't just drop it in the postbox.
He says he can't see the problem, and it's no different to paying for petrol and leaving him to go and pay.
(I try not to get petrol when DCs are in the car, and take them into the shop if it's unavoidable).
AIBU?

Mumzy - the op is about someone popping into a post office where 'a few minutes' could easily turn into 10. And who's to say the man in the article wouldn't have suffered the same consequences if he'd left his child for 'a few minutes' instead of 10?

I leave them to pay for petrol on the rare occasion I can't pay at pump. I also leave them if they're asleep somewhere like the doctors that has its own small carpark. I used to leave dd1 in the car on the drive but dd2 tends to wake up within about 5mins of the engine switching off!

I don't leave them in big superstore carparks or on the road or anywhere I can't see them.

Cars can catch fire very quickly. Several years ago I saw a parked car in the school car park billowing smoke while on the morning run. Thank God the mother had not left a child in the car. Only last year Vaxhall Zaphiras hit the headlines for hundreds of cars filling with smoke and being consumed in flames in minutes. Some after being parked on drives. The damaged electrics caused some cars to lock too.

Seen loads of posts in the past on people being appalled at nannies and childminder doing just what OP described and being told to report them, so why is it ok for parents to do this?

I haven't read further than the first page but nope, not a toddler.
Yes a baby and yes an older child in these circumstances.
Toddlers are so mischievous and I know mine would be driving the car down the street quicker than I could blink (well not quite but ykwim.)

Children are different. My child is safer in the car. This is not a hypothetical situation but a real one. Or your child is safer if you take responsibility. Don't blame the teacher for handing you something, or the idiot father for opening a door, blame yourself. Learn from it and instead of thinking your child is safer in the car, find a way to manage your child's behaviour. You know they are liable to bolt, so hold their hand, don't be distracted, get some reins. Take responsibility.

And anyone that thinks it isn't ok just needs to google zafira fire to see just how fast these things can happen. Of your car went up while you were in a shop your child wouldn't stand a chance.

Scaffleen this is me hahahahaa.

I leave mine in when I get petrol, but.... my judgement is coloured by what happened to me when I was 3 or 4.
My mum parked opposite a shop and wanted to nip in to get a couple of things and planned to leave me in the car. It would have been for 5 mins max, probably less. I whined and whined to come in with her.... Probably because I wanted chocolate. She relented for a quiet life. While we were in the shop, there was a large bang, which turned out to be the car exploding. There was an electrical fault and the car went up in flames. Completely unpredictable and unlikely, but I'm incredibly lucky that I was such an annoying and whiney child.

I take mine into shops even if just for a few minutes

Regularly left kids in car for a few minutes when they couldn't get out of the car seat.

Yep i do it fairly regularly. I wouldn't leave them where i couldn't see the car, but if i pop to the newsagents then it's just easier. Mine are 4 & 5 now.

I always love these threads to see how hysterical people can get - it's a wonder that some people are able to leave the damn house!

I live in the tropics, I regularly leave my kids in the car and more to the point, I leave the keys in and the engine running! I weigh the risks as follows:

• Chance of kids getting too hot in the 5 minutes I'm inside shop - 100% (therefore leave engine running)
• Chance of car catching fire - 0.2%?
• Chance of random junkie leaping out of nowhere and stealing car - 2%
• Chance of kids demanding chocolate if I take them in the shop with me - 95%

It is absolutely about perceived risk and depends where you are in the world. The same risks are weighed in the "should I leave my sleeping baby to nip to the shop 50 yards away?" threads and frothing maniacs coming on to say that the OP could be hit by a car crossing the road and won't anyone think of the children!!

whosafraid calm your defence down ffs. My comment to you actually had nothing to do with fire. That was a general comment which was just one example of a risk.

I don't have irrational anything. I just take my kids out the car if I get out the car. There is literally no reason not to.

I don't think you should but my parents did it with me and it never did me any harm. Its okay to say you can see them etc but you will always take your eyes off them for a second to do something and that's all it take (look at cases where the mother had the child in the shop and it was snatched just while she looked away for a second). My parents didn't do it with my brother though (he was the kind of kid that if you left him alone you'd come back and he'd have eaten half the dog.) so I understand if its older kids it depends on the child.

I did once sit in my car, next to a car in a multi-story carpark as someone had left a approx 10 month old in the carseat in it. The shopping access was on a different floor completely. I had to call security and wait for them to come and collect the poor thing.

Another danger is a car hitting yours, it does happen everywhere. Car park fender benders etc can cause damage to passengers in the car and indeed cause fires as has been suggested as a danger already.

When I pay for fuel I can clearly see my car, so I don't feel bad as I'm often no more then 30 secs too. It's rare tbh but I don't feel neglectful. I wouldn't go in shops though. I used to. Then my DH ran a few scenarios past me, scared the shit out of me!

My comments were that my 2 year old ran off this week. You made references to Zafira car fires, so it's pretty logical to assume you are concerned about stationary car fires Not to you directly i didn't. I gave it as an example of something that could happen, particularly as it was an incredibly common thing last year. Personally I have no concern about stationary car fires, probably because I don't own a shitty zafira. My comments directly to you were regarding leaving your son in the car because 'everyone else was at fault' other than yourself. That really pisses me off when people can't take responsibility. It's not the teachers fault for handing you something, or the 'idiot father' for opening a door. The responsibility lays at your feet only.

This is general, not directed solely....

I have no understanding why there is a need to leave a child in the car. For me it isnt even about eliminating risk, I don't even contemplate risk, (let alone irrationally as has been suggested) I simply take my kid/s with me when I go places because they are my kids. I see no reason not to take them

Stonecircle the OP was talking about a scenario where yes it could take longer, but the thread and other posters and I were talking about people getting petrol and leaving child in car where they are yards away and in plain sight. I did say in my previous post that there are two different scenarios being talked about in this thread. I wouldn't leave my child whilst I went into a shop round the corner out of sight, but have left them settled in the car whilst paying for petrol yards away.

When my daughter was at playgroup, 20 years ago, one of the mums parked on her own drive and was unloading shopping so just taking bags in and dropping in hall and coming out again. Young chap jumped in the car and drove off, I don't know how he started it or if she left her keys in, but anyway he drove off with sleeping 3 year old in the back. She woke up and started screaming, he obviously got a shock stopped the car in the middle of a busy road and ran off. A man cutting his grass saw what happened and phoned the police. He was too frightened to get her out of the car as he thought he might be accused of something but he stood by the car talking to her till the police arrived.

So I wouldn't leave a young child alone in a car. I don't if IABU but I saw the state the mother was in and never want to go there.

I would imagine that chap in the article had not been able to see his dc. Certainly long enough for a passing policeman to note there was a child in the car, take down details etc and judge it serious enough to prosecute.

If you're just popping into a petrol station and saw a policeman looking at your child in a car you'd let them know you were just a few feet away and I'm sure that would be fine.

As for spontaneously combusting cars ..... I think I'll live with that risk.